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CelticGoddess
Lost in a song
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2957
Location: Toronto, ON
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 Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| Airborne wrote: | Everyone except the original poster....Please shut up. She doesnt want to listen to this crap she wants to here relevant info. My gosh lets show some intelligence here, its like having a house guest and trashing your house while they are there. Show some manner or at least try.
| Quote: | okay thanks for everyone help...and uhh debate too I guess.
its now pretty clear that he likes me now...i mean he is actualy not avoiding me, and he trys to start a conversation and be engaging...though its usualy akaward or difficult. He is also always looking over at me, even if i'm not talking to him, and he does that boyish thing of teasing/playful stuff...well he tries at least.
i know a couple times i've made the mistake of saying the wrong thing and he takes it the wrong way, and i have to explain later...but it always works out. |
Yeah be careful with the humor. I find allot of things funny and Im a pretty funny guy my self but REALLY dry humor (like Im talking dry as sand here) is hard to grasp, especially when theres no indication its meant to be dry. I swear to God I have a friend and she uses dry humor all the time and its so hard to grasp, so awkward for me sometimes. Most aspie guys will not go "Hey you want to go see a movie" so you have to take the initiative as awkward as that may sound for you as a girl (or not Idk) its about 20x worse to the tenth power if your an aspie.
-Nate |
Well said, Nate.
Danceyourdance ~ Ignore the debate stuff. Just enjoy your time with the boy. That's all that matters.
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"You spent 10 years not rockin the boat and look where it got you? Tip the f***ing boat and swim for shore"
~ The boy |
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ToadOfSteel
Living in fantasy
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 5342
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 12:50 am Post subject: |
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| Airborne wrote: | | Everyone except the original poster....Please shut up. She doesnt want to listen to this crap she wants to here relevant info. My gosh lets show some intelligence here, its like having a house guest and trashing your house while they are there. Show some manner or at least try. |
Because the post I made three posts down on the first page is irrelevant crap...
btw, if you wanted a better example of dry humor, there it is... I tend to employ such dry humor when people like you piss me off by responding to something I thought was well-thought out, saying that it "lacked intelligence"...
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"I mean I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there is a party. And then when he finally gets there he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look...comfortable examining a potted plant." |
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TheEvolutionOfLife
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 13, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 156
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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If you're happy go for it. I personally wouldn't trust an NT though but thats just me.
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Daniel Richard Cordell |
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Kangoogle
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 04, 2009
Posts: 903
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:28 pm Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| ike wrote: | | Kangoogle wrote: | | ike wrote: | | Kangoogle wrote: |
I would argue that an Autistic person should be less honest, after all since when did NT's ever earn our honesty. Plus we have had our fingers burned more times, so more incentive to learn how to lie. Even if it is initially from the perspective to tell if someone else is lying. |
I'm just gonna say you're full o' crap and leave it at that. I have refutations for all of your last set of comments, I'm just tired of dealing with you. |
Basically you can't win an argument so are running away. |
You're right, I can't win the argument. That's why it's not running away.
Not because my side doesn't have merit, but merely because you're unwilling to consider it. How long do you bash your head against a brick wall before you decide the pain in your head isn't the wall's fault?
Speaking of which, the "you can't win so you're running away" line is a pretty stupid BS head-game, trite and completely transparent.
Plus I felt like the thread had already been too hijacked by this inane debate over your bs anyway. |
What a hypocrite... |
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Airborne
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 08, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 301
Location: United States Of America
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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| TheEvolutionOfLife wrote: | | If you're happy go for it. I personally wouldn't trust an NT though but thats just me. |
Well it really depends on the NT.....you cant all classify them as bad you know.
| Quote: | Because the post I made three posts down on the first page is irrelevant crap...
btw, if you wanted a better example of dry humor, there it is... I tend to employ such dry humor when people like you piss me off by responding to something I thought was well-thought out, saying that it "lacked intelligence"... |
I want you to drop this and stop talking. Your beating a decomposing horse. |
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Kangoogle
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 04, 2009
Posts: 903
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Airborne wrote: | Everyone except the original poster....Please shut up. She doesnt want to listen to this crap she wants to here relevant info. My gosh lets show some intelligence here, its like having a house guest and trashing your house while they are there. Show some manner or at least try.
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Meet the Aspie boyfriend... |
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Kangoogle
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 04, 2009
Posts: 903
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Airborne wrote: | | TheEvolutionOfLife wrote: | | If you're happy go for it. I personally wouldn't trust an NT though but thats just me. |
Well it really depends on the NT.....you cant all classify them as bad you know.
| Quote: | Because the post I made three posts down on the first page is irrelevant crap...
btw, if you wanted a better example of dry humor, there it is... I tend to employ such dry humor when people like you piss me off by responding to something I thought was well-thought out, saying that it "lacked intelligence"... |
I want you to drop this and stop talking. Your beating a decomposing horse. |
Ever heard of the phrase "I want, doesn't get" |
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ike
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Age: 35
Posts: 692
Location: Boston, MA
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| Kangoogle wrote: | | What a hypocrite... |
How's that?
I won't belabor the point too much, but I will say that your line of reasoning before I gave up involves the same logical fallacies that have Jenny McCarthy and the Autism Speaks folks still insisting that autism must be caused by vaccines. You've taken a biased personal observation and extrapolated from this that obviously since you personally had this observation it must therefore be more correct than any kind of rigorous scientific analysis. The odds are that you are not as good at lying as you believe and that others do not share your opinions on the subject -- read up on "overconfidence effect" and "false consensus effect", among others.
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Are you a HooLiGaN?
http://www.woohooligan.com/archive.php?a=wp |
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ike
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Age: 35
Posts: 692
Location: Boston, MA
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| Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Kangoogle wrote: | | Airborne wrote: | Everyone except the original poster....Please shut up. She doesnt want to listen to this crap she wants to here relevant info. My gosh lets show some intelligence here, its like having a house guest and trashing your house while they are there. Show some manner or at least try.
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Meet the Aspie boyfriend... |
Oh so... in other words, you just told your girlfriend or potential girlfriend that you really don't care about her feelings because NTs have hurt you in the past, so it's perfectly fine for you to lie to them and disrespect them and not care how they feel, but you want or maybe even expect her to respect you even though you're not planning to return her respect... hmmm... interesting.
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Are you a HooLiGaN?
http://www.woohooligan.com/archive.php?a=wp |
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JennaJ
Raven
Joined: Dec 29, 2008
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:40 pm Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | Kangoogle wrote: | | I would argue that an Autistic person should be less honest, after all since when did NT's ever earn our honesty. Plus we have had our fingers burned more times, so more incentive to learn how to lie. Even if it is initially from the perspective to tell if someone else is lying. |
Why would you want to stoop to the NT level? |
HEY TOAD~! That wasn't fair! LOL
I am an NT and about as honest as they get! I have had my fingers burned in life a lot, but still felt that honesty and integrity was important.
I think honesty or lack of I should say, is a trait an NT or an Aspie can have if they have the motivation to lie... |
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JennaJ
Raven
Joined: Dec 29, 2008
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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| ike wrote: | | Kangoogle wrote: | | Airborne wrote: | Everyone except the original poster....Please shut up. She doesnt want to listen to this crap she wants to here relevant info. My gosh lets show some intelligence here, its like having a house guest and trashing your house while they are there. Show some manner or at least try.
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Meet the Aspie boyfriend... |
Oh so... in other words, you just told your girlfriend or potential girlfriend that you really don't care about her feelings because NTs have hurt you in the past, so it's perfectly fine for you to lie to them and disrespect them and not care how they feel, but you want or maybe even expect her to respect you even though you're not planning to return her respect... hmmm... interesting. |
Good post. If anyone wants to have a meaningful relationship - AS or NT - they have to put aside the burns of the past and not blame the one they are with or expect that person to bear those crosses or they will find quickly that this person will walk out. There are a lot of people without AS who still have disorders that make life hell - those with bipolar, or borderline personality disorder, etc, too many to mention - but every person who hopes to have a meaningful relationship despite whatever might be holding them back has to strive hard to have a mutual respect for the person they have in their life as a partner.
I think that AS folks probably have a harder time with this ( i do not even know this for fact, just saying this since i have read posts from people with AS who say they have a harder time wtih it), but it isn't impossible to work on not blaming their partner for sins of others.
And no, you will never gain the respect of anyone - partner or not - if you can't give it. |
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ToadOfSteel
Living in fantasy
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 5342
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 10:53 pm Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| JennaJ wrote: | HEY TOAD~! That wasn't fair! LOL
I am an NT and about as honest as they get! I have had my fingers burned in life a lot, but still felt that honesty and integrity was important.
I think honesty or lack of I should say, is a trait an NT or an Aspie can have if they have the motivation to lie... |
Can you truly be 100% pure Columbian NT? After all, you're giving us the time of day... most NT's I know wouldn't...
Okay, so I was making a generalization that obviously doesn't apply to the entire set as a whole, but I know from experience that the aspies I know definitely don't lie, not even to make a person feel better...
You also say you've had your fingers burned in life a lot, so that means you, knowing what it feels like to be burned, will be less likely to burn others, demonstrating a level of empathy that is lacking in at least 50% of the NT population...
_________________
"I mean I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there is a party. And then when he finally gets there he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look...comfortable examining a potted plant." |
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JennaJ
Raven
Joined: Dec 29, 2008
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:04 pm Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | JennaJ wrote: | HEY TOAD~! That wasn't fair! LOL
I am an NT and about as honest as they get! I have had my fingers burned in life a lot, but still felt that honesty and integrity was important.
I think honesty or lack of I should say, is a trait an NT or an Aspie can have if they have the motivation to lie... |
Can you truly be 100% pure Columbian NT? After all, you're giving us the time of day... most NT's I know wouldn't...
Okay, so I was making a generalization that obviously doesn't apply to the entire set as a whole, but I know from experience that the aspies I know definitely don't lie, not even to make a person feel better...
You also say you've had your fingers burned in life a lot, so that means you, knowing what it feels like to be burned, will be less likely to burn others, demonstrating a level of empathy that is lacking in at least 50% of the NT population... |
LOL@pure Columbian NT!
Giving "you" guys the time of day? WHY NOT? Please don't tell me i am the only one who can see the goodness out of people, Aspie or not!
But I do admit, I do have a very high level of empathy. That is the one quality in people that cannot be replicated, faked or substituted. It is absolutely necessary to really 'get' another person. I mentioned 'borderline personality' in my aforementioned post, i dated a BPD person before the person i currently am dating who is AS. I in fact MARRIED the BPD. Biggest mistake of my life. I didn't know he was BPD and i didn't know how hard it was for the BPD person to display empathy. Simply put, he didn't have it. It was one of the biggest rollercoasters of my life and i will take the AS guy ANYDAY over that!
He could be the sweetest person on earth one day (the Borderline personality person) and the next day the most heinous unloving creature on earth. Yeah i will gladly hobknob with the AS community anyday after that experience (not that i had a problem with it prior)! |
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ToadOfSteel
Living in fantasy
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 5342
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 2:06 am Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| JennaJ wrote: | | LOL@pure Columbian NT! |
Yup, that's classic dry aspie humor... often arising out of random word associations that I make thanks to long term memory that remembers everything, but then randomly fires whenever it feels like it...
| Quote: | | Giving "you" guys the time of day? WHY NOT? Please don't tell me i am the only one who can see the goodness out of people, Aspie or not! |
You'll have to forgive me (and a bunch of us here besides)... Most of us were bullied in school for being "different"... and since school is the first place where young children can interact with their "peers", it tends to provide a rather negative view of NT's, thanks to the bullying that takes place...
It's not like it got any better in high school... the only difference for me was that instead of being hit on the head with textbooks, I was "hit on" by many of the girls that wanted to use me for the incredible brain power I possessed at the time (and still do)... They weren't interested in any actual relationship, they only wanted me to ace their exams for them and then toss me aside... But, true to form, they would *say* they wanted a relationship, all as part of their plan to reel me in...I had enough social awareness to at least recognize that...
Sure, there were more enlightened individuals among the female gender, but none of them were interested in me, unfortunately... Same applies to the male gender: there were some decent guys around, but most of them were pricks...
_________________
"I mean I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there is a party. And then when he finally gets there he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look...comfortable examining a potted plant." |
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Airborne
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 08, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 301
Location: United States Of America
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| Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:44 pm Post subject: Re: I'm an NT girl falling for a guy with AS...i need advice |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: |
It's not like it got any better in high school... the only difference for me was that instead of being hit on the head with textbooks, I was "hit on" by many of the girls that wanted to use me for the incredible brain power I possessed at the time (and still do)... They weren't interested in any actual relationship, they only wanted me to ace their exams for them and then toss me aside... But, true to form, they would *say* they wanted a relationship, all as part of their plan to reel me in...I had enough social awareness to at least recognize that...
Sure, there were more enlightened individuals among the female gender, but none of them were interested in me, unfortunately... Same applies to the male gender: there were some decent guys around, but most of them were pricks... |
Ironically we are smarter than the NT's too....I sh** a brick every time I think about that, lol. In middle school and highschool for me now I classify NT males as either, (1)Friendly nice to talk to,(2) Friendly nice to talk listens intently to what I have to say and "follows" my lead when a decsion needs to be made thus making me a leader, (3) arrogant punk ass who has his pride shoved so far up his ass Im surprised he can walk upright (strangely enough I always have better posture than them but thats irrelevant) these guys attempt (and generally fail) to prove my views, ideas, etc. wrong without suficient thought, thus leading them to not be able to support there weak attack and me consequently challenging there attack with solid evidence, boy does this bother me, generally these guys either give up and revert to number (2) or just never talk to me again and give me stupid conniving, arrogant looks in a farce attempt to somehow "intimidate" me. of course I cant throw everyone into all those, (1) generally serves as a general person I socialize with. NT's arent all bad, I know ALLOT of NT's that are damn near pure kindness from core to outer. |
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