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Alla
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31 Jan 2009, 9:21 pm

My 50 year old aspie friend and love interest wears a thin gold pinkie band on his left hand. He is single and also wears other types of signet rings, usually one on each hand (in addition to the pinkie band.) He is fond of jewellery in general and also wears a square pendant on one of those leather chains around his neck.

My question is that given his age and the fact that he is so secretive about his love life, do you think that the pinkie band signifies that he is gay? he always wears it next to a signet ring with the name of a woman engraved on it (apparently his mother or employer).



ToadOfSteel
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31 Jan 2009, 9:29 pm

It doesn't have to signify homosexuality. For all I know, it could just mean that jewelry is his special interest... If he could play the drums, I would almost think you were talking about Ringo Starr...

The secretive nature about his love life could stem from the possibility that he doesn't even have one... many aspies, even the ones that want love, never experience it...



pakled
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31 Jan 2009, 9:29 pm

it probably changes from decade to decade. I remember that there was a time in the 70s that which back pocket you hung a colored handkerchief out of declared what team you batted for...;)

I find it hard to believe (but I don't know...straight but not narrow...;) that there should be some site out there that would let gay guys instruct straight women as to gaydar...



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31 Jan 2009, 9:32 pm

pakled wrote:
I find it hard to believe (but I don't know...straight but not narrow...;) that there should be some site out there that would let gay guys instruct straight women as to gaydar...


Well, the point I was trying to make is that aspies tend to fool gaydar... In high school, everybody thought I was gay because I would rebuke so many advances by women (I actually turned them down because they were trying to use me, but the general public didn't see that...)



Alla
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31 Jan 2009, 9:42 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
It doesn't have to signify homosexuality. For all I know, it could just mean that jewelry is his special interest... If he could play the drums, I would almost think you were talking about Ringo Starr...

The secretive nature about his love life could stem from the possibility that he doesn't even have one... many aspies, even the ones that want love, never experience it...


I actually think that his secretive nature comes from a lack of having a love life as you said. Peoplewho know him say that he does not have a sex life and he travels so much that it would be very difficult for him to be in a relationship. Oh, and he also has PE without even taking his clothes of (discussed in an older post by me) so that tells me that he has not done it in a long time, if ever.

I wonder if the pinkie ring is his mom's or grandma's.



CelticGoddess
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31 Jan 2009, 9:46 pm

I wouldn't think it has anything to do with homosexuality. It could be something as simple as that's the finger that the ring fits on. :shrug:



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01 Feb 2009, 1:25 am

Are you concerned that the rings etc. might have some particular cultural meaning? Trying to guess what this means for one person is a different consideration than its cultural meaning. I have no idea what a pinkie ring might mean, but it might have a cultural significance which is different from what the wearer intends.


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Tim_UK
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02 Feb 2009, 8:42 am

I know several guys that wear rings on their little finger and are gay, though I have seen men I know to be straight wearing them too. Often overweight men will wear a ring there as at one time it will have fit another finger. Perhaps gay men are more comfortable wearing jewelery so it just appears there is a prevailance.

Why do you want to know?


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spi3l3r
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02 Feb 2009, 9:02 pm

It might be some form of associative symbolisme. Here in Canada, a narrow silver band on the pinky means you have a Bachelors of Engineering. Most people don't know this, only those who are familiar with the ceremonies.



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02 Feb 2009, 9:13 pm

I do it all the time but I'm a female. I've seen a lot of guys wear more than one ring. The rings most of them wear aren't real dainty though and some of them don't seem gay.

I don't think they're related to sexuality...then again maybe it's something I uanaware of......:oops:

As for secret love life....hmmmm.......


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TheEvolutionOfLife
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03 Feb 2009, 7:24 am

I wear rings myself on my second index fingers and one on my pinkie.

It's where they feel most comfortable on my hands.


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03 Feb 2009, 3:41 pm

Out here wearing a ring on your left pinky means you're gay and fem. If it's on the right finger it means your gay and confused. If you don't wear a ring it means you're gay but butch, buff or bear or a politician. rings on both pinkys means you're up for anything reasonable and you probably go both ways. Some people with a BSE also wear a pinky ring and most of them get mistaken for being just regular gay guys


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Alla
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03 Feb 2009, 5:22 pm

garyww wrote:
Out here wearing a ring on your left pinky means you're gay and fem. If it's on the right finger it means your gay and confused. If you don't wear a ring it means you're gay but butch, buff or bear or a politician. rings on both pinkys means you're up for anything reasonable and you probably go both ways. Some people with a BSE also wear a pinky ring and most of them get mistaken for being just regular gay guys


My guy lives in a certain Mediterranean country so not California.
So in your area, it does not matter whether you wear a ring or not, you are some sort of gay character anyway. I assume you live in an area where the majority of the population is gay.......you've confused me more than I was before!



Alla
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03 Feb 2009, 5:23 pm

TheEvolutionOfLife wrote:
I wear rings myself on my second index fingers and one on my pinkie.

It's where they feel most comfortable on my hands.


Is the one on your pinky a thin band of gold? Similar to this: http://www.sundancecatalog.com/PRODUCT/30584.html



TheEvolutionOfLife
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04 Feb 2009, 1:48 am

Nah, it's europe style silver with a white gold one on the finger next to it american style. I also have a gold indian pictured ring on my left handed non pinky finger.


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04 Feb 2009, 3:21 am

spi3l3r wrote:
It might be some form of associative symbolisme. Here in Canada, a narrow silver band on the pinky means you have a Bachelors of Engineering. Most people don't know this, only those who are familiar with the ceremonies.


Yup, the Order of the Engineer, I'm a member of the US Order. Members wear a stainless steal ring on their working hand's pinkie finger. To wear it means they've taken an oath like a doctor's Hippocratic Oath.