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DiabloDave363
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Age: 16
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Location: New England
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 27
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Location: Central USA
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 Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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Basically? They're a way to tell NT spouses of Aspies that their spouse will never be able to have a meaningful relationship and they should just divorce now. Typical accusations are emotional coldness, selfishness, and an inability to love. They also claim that NT spouses suffer from a fictitious "cassandra affective disorder", a sort of depression caused by not being shown affection by their spouses. Instead of trying to help AS/NT relationships by establishing communication, they simply claim that these relationships are useless, that Aspies should "stick to their own kind", and that divorce is the only solution.
Bottom line: Total bigotry.
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garyww
Asylum Escapee
Joined: Nov 29, 2008
Posts: 2391
Location: Napa, California
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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I guess you can't take a hint. Get rid of the 'moron' in that link you moron as some of us aren't retarded and you'll get treated better.
Besides that start doing some research on your own for petes sake. Are you in college or grade school? Do you need mommie to help you out here.
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millie
bits, pieces, brass, animals
Joined: Oct 26, 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 3371
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Callista wrote: | Basically? They're a way to tell NT spouses of Aspies that their spouse will never be able to have a meaningful relationship and they should just divorce now. Typical accusations are emotional coldness, selfishness, and an inability to love. They also claim that NT spouses suffer from a fictitious "cassandra affective disorder", a sort of depression caused by not being shown affection by their spouses. Instead of trying to help AS/NT relationships by establishing communication, they simply claim that these relationships are useless, that Aspies should "stick to their own kind", and that divorce is the only solution.
Bottom line: Total bigotry. |
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i come across as emotionally cold, selfish and have been told - once the fireworks are over - i have an inability to love.
that is how many of us appear from the outside looking in.
from the inside looking out, the story is different. I care deeply. I am narcissistic and self-absorbed and i do love. profoundly and extremely...all in my own way.
i think callista raises the point - about establishing communication.
after all, what man yof us experience on a daily basis is almost perpetual cultural clash.
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MONKEY
Come wander with me
Joined: Jan 04, 2009
Age: 17
Posts: 2753
Location: Stoke, England
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| garyww wrote: | I guess you can't take a hint. Get rid of the 'moron' in that link you moron as some of us aren't retarded and you'll get treated better.
Besides that start doing some research on your own for petes sake. Are you in college or grade school? Do you need mommie to help you out here. |
ouch 
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DiabloDave363
Velociraptor
Joined: May 17, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 446
Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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| garyww wrote: | I guess you can't take a hint. Get rid of the 'moron' in that link you moron as some of us aren't retarded and you'll get treated better.
Besides that start doing some research on your own for petes sake. Are you in college or grade school? Do you need mommie to help you out here. |
im trying to. i want alot of insight on peple and i will credit them. y the hell do u keep bothering me and being a complete douchebag?
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garyww
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Location: Napa, California
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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You need help guy. You can't even do you own research let alone build up a following here so get with it if you really on the spectrum and do you own thing for once and be a man instead of a girlie man as Arnold says about people who have no real core.
This is real life here in the big leagues boy if your autistic.
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DiabloDave363
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Age: 16
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Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| garyww wrote: | You need help guy. You can't even do you own research let alone build up a following here so get with it if you really on the spectrum and do you own thing for once and be a man instead of a girlie man as Arnold says about people who have no real core.
This is real life here in the big leagues boy if your autistic. |
im fed up with u harasing me. im doing my research but i want a lil more insight from the autistic community.
wat the f**k is ur problem harrasing me on all my threads and giving me gay lectures about my myspace link?
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garyww
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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I am not gay myself but I do not have a problem with gay men if you are gay as many of my personal friends are gay. It is not something you have to be ashamed of nowadays.
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DiabloDave363
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Age: 16
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Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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| garyww wrote: | | I am not gay myself but I do not have a problem with gay men if you are gay as many of my personal friends are gay. It is not something you have to be ashamed of nowadays. |
my friend is gay actually.
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garyww
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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Is there some kind of 'autistic community' you think is here at this site?
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Dussel
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Joined: Jan 20, 2009
Posts: 1790
Location: London (UK)
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:04 pm Post subject: Re: FAAAS |
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| DiabloDave363 wrote: | | need info, wat makes them so bad? |
Take text from their webpage:
| Quote: | People with Asperger’s Syndrome can tend to be militant and hold rigidly to what
defines them as individuals. They can be very interesting and often likably eccentric.
They may have a tendency to claim victimisation from those who do not have
Asperger’s Syndrome, while they determinedly continue to navigate life and
relationships on terms of their own rather than mutuality and compromise. People
who do not have Asperger’s Syndrome continue to long for the mutual meeting of
emotional needs within the marriage and resent the reality of living on terms dictated
by the needs and priorities of the partner with Asperger’s Syndrome. In effect, their
flexibility is exploited by the inflexibility of the person with Asperger’s Syndrome. |
This small text puts all the blame to site of the Aspie - it could be also well argued that my partner, NT, does "exploit" my ability to learn and memorize facts quickly and my ability to assess situations without emotional interference. Claims like "determinedly continue to navigate life and
relationships on terms of their own rather than mutuality and compromise." are just not supported by real facts. When the author, Carol Grigg, would wrote, that she know of such cases it be fine, but she generalizes her private experiences for all cases.
| Quote: | If a person with Asperger’s Syndrome can’t promise the mutuality, relationship and
personal sacrifice that is a reasonable expectation within a marriage, then marriage
may not be for them. |
What is here special with Asperger? If any person " can’t promise the mutuality, relationship and personal sacrifice that is a reasonable expectation" than any marriage is doomed.
| Quote: | I often wish I could personally meet with all the Asperger partners represented by our
group and somehow convey to them how loyal their partners are, how hopeful they
continue to be that the relationship can be improved and what positive contribution
they can have to this process. |
In other words - she did not meet the partner with Asperger: You do not need deeper understanding of relationships to know that in a crisis the stories of both sides just sound so true and contradict each other. She just takes party for one side without hearing the other one. Basic live experience shall teach otherwise.
| Quote: | I see the only hope for relationship as being contained within the willingness of the
person with Asperger’s Syndrome to gain as much insight as possible into the
realities of his or her differences, recognise the impact this has on his or her
relationship, seek professional guidance and co-operate with his or her partner to
develop a more healthy mutuality in the relationship.
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It sounds trivial, but keeping up a relationship, Aspie, NT or what else, means compromises on both sides. To load all the blame and task on the side of the Aspie is just plain nonsense ...
http://www.faaas.org/pdf/Grigg_Is_There_Hope.pdf |
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garyww
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Joined: Nov 29, 2008
Posts: 2391
Location: Napa, California
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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Dave I respect what you're tryin to do here but for most of us it really needs to be less instense even though we can identify with you own situation.
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garyww
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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I for one have thought that we need a separate are for gay issues. It will eventually come about but until then you just have to abide by the regualr catagories.
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millie
bits, pieces, brass, animals
Joined: Oct 26, 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 3371
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| Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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gee, regarding Dussell's reference to those excerpts from their site:
their model of marriage for a start seems completely traditonal, limited and lousy.
the use of the word "exploitative" in the Grigg excerpt is simplistic and naive.
I just prefer to live in a marriage and f**k around with it all out in the open.
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