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JakeWilson
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 12, 2007
Posts: 155
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 Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:31 am Post subject: How Come My AS seems not as strong as I get older? |
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Okay,
I am diagnosed with AS and I clearly have it especially if you look at my childhood and some of the same struggles continuing today.
But as I am in college, all of the sudden I have learned how to carry a conversation with stuff. I still get obsessed with stuff and get focused on one thing at a time but for some reason my obsessions don't seem to be as unusual as they were when I was a kid, and I have a MUCH greater ability to say no to myself when it comes to obsessions. I am starting to catch people's body cues when they talk to me and I am starting to realize more whether it is my turn to talk or not.
Sometimes it seems as if I am slowly just fading into neurotypicalism, and it is a little bit discouraging because when it comes down to it, deep down inside I really don't want to be like everyone else around me. With Asperger's I feel like I can be something different and outside of the norm. I would rather not look just like everyone else in my social skills and stuff.
So what is going on here?
A Question also is, does Asperger's fade away for some people. I know I have not lost Asperger's at this point but is it possible for someone to lose it as they get older?
I almost worry sometimes if that is where I am headed. I do want to function in the world, but that doesn't mean I just want to be like everyone else. |
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Kilroy
this is desu~
Joined: Apr 25, 2007
Posts: 11802
Location: I donno...
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:37 am Post subject: |
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god damn I wish mine would go away
I f***ing hate having AS
I envy you man |
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Aysmptotes
Toucan
Joined: May 11, 2007
Posts: 298
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:51 am Post subject: |
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It is because you are learning. Also it might also be a combination of the fact that you can choose more so who you interact with than in grade school in which you have no choice who you sit next to. With the major you choose you tend to be around those who have simlar interests to you and also by the time you are in college you learn better how to talk to people. Same thing for me. I interact better with my classmates but I can't carry a good conversation with anyone I work with. And in college there is a better diversity of people I think and more chances to interact with people you have more in common with.
Like if I bring up something I am really interested in they will probably respond back and we might have a conversation about it, but if I do the same thing at work, people just give me blank stares and immedately change the conversation and start talking to someone else. Like I have an antenna project I have to do and I can go on and on about the different software I am using and what they want to do with their antennas. But the moment I say the word antenna at work the conversation is over. So yeah. Also at work I pretty much go on automatic response now sometimes the responses get mixed up.
But I still know that I have AS, but that doesn't change the fact that I still need to make an effort to succeed in social situations to go forward, that doesn't mean that I can't do it. I just do it with a whole lot more anxiety than the person next to me. But that is ok I get over it. If I made a big deal over the fact that I can't talk to people or socialize then I wouldn't be where I am today. AS doesn't mean the inability to socialize.
This post is so disorganized. |
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JakeWilson
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 12, 2007
Posts: 155
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:56 am Post subject: |
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| Aysmptotes wrote: | It is because you are learning. Also it might also be a combination of the fact that you can choose more so who you interact with than in grade school in which you have no choice who you sit next to. With the major you choose you tend to be around those who have simlar interests to you and also by the time you are in college you learn better how to talk to people. Same thing for me. I interact better with my classmates but I can't carry a good conversation with anyone I work with. And in college there is a better diversity of people I think and more chances to interact with people you have more in common with.
Like if I bring up something I am really interested in they will probably respond back and we might have a conversation about it, but if I do the same thing at work, people just give me blank stares and immedately change the conversation and start talking to someone else. Like I have an antenna project I have to do and I can go on and on about the different software I am using and what they want to do with their antennas. But the moment I say the word antenna at work the conversation is over. So yeah. Also at work I pretty much go on automatic response now sometimes the responses get mixed up.
But I still know that I have AS, but that doesn't change the fact that I still need to make an effort to succeed in social situations to go forward, that doesn't mean that I can't do it. I just do it with a whole lot more anxiety than the person next to me. But that is ok I get over it. If I made a big deal over the fact that I can't talk to people or socialize then I wouldn't be where I am today. AS doesn't mean the inability to socialize.
This post is so disorganized. |
Some helpful thoughts.
Anyone else want to weigh in on this?
I agree that AS doesn't mean the inability to socialize, only some trouble doing it correctly. |
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whitetiger
Passionate Advocate
Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Age: 41
Posts: 1577
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:06 am Post subject: |
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We develop the ability to compensate for social deficits as we get older. I know it is true for me, at 40, although I still scored low on the percentile for socialization skills during my last assessment. I am cheerier and say hello to people and act interested in them and things like that.
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I am a very strange female.
http://www.youtube.com/user/whitetigerdream
Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent! |
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pensieve
Autist and Artist
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 3263
Location: NSW, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:16 am Post subject: |
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I don't think it fades away or disappears, but you learn ways to overcome some of the difficulties with it.
I don't say inappropriate stuff anymore, or interrupt like I used to.
I can talk to people for a short while.
I rarely stim, though it comes up when I get nervous.
I still have some problems like taking things too seriously and getting angry/sad too easily, but like they say practice makes perfect.
I was undiagnosed for 22 years, so I would try to be like everyone else because I had no idea what was wrong with me. |
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pandd
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2006
Posts: 2383
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:16 am Post subject: |
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| It's like Whitetiger says. Everyone develops more skills as they become older. It makes sense that adaptive "work arounds" would be developed by many with AS as they get older. Further, non-autistic people gain skills in directing their attention as they grow into adulthood. There is no reason to expect people with AS would not also improve in this area, relative to their own strengths as weaknesses as children. |
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JakeWilson
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 12, 2007
Posts: 155
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:19 am Post subject: |
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So we have established that people with AS improve.
One question though is do you think someone with AS can adopt social skills so well that they no longer have AS? |
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buryuntime
oh comely
Joined: Dec 07, 2008
Posts: 1631
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:28 am Post subject: |
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| JakeWilson wrote: | So we have established that people with AS improve.
One question though is do you think someone with AS can adopt social skills so well that they no longer have AS? |
No you always have it. |
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EvoVari
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 10, 2008
Posts: 202
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:36 am Post subject: |
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Of course people with AS can adapt to the world as they mature, introduce coping strategies, self control over behaviour and we learn from rejection.
I'm assuming you are not married or in a long term relationship, no children and have no major executive decisions with paying a morgage etc. Your AS will come back with a vengence with stressful issues such as the abovementioned.
Let us know in ten years time when you have experienced some of the above and how faded your AS has progressed. Periods of high stress in your life regress your AS very quickly IMO. |
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pensieve
Autist and Artist
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 3263
Location: NSW, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:39 am Post subject: |
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| buryuntime wrote: | | JakeWilson wrote: | So we have established that people with AS improve.
One question though is do you think someone with AS can adopt social skills so well that they no longer have AS? |
No you always have it. |
Agreed.
| EvoVari wrote: | Of course people with AS can adapt to the world as they mature, introduce coping strategies, self control over behaviour and we learn from rejection.
I'm assuming you are not married or in a long term relationship, no children and have no major executive decisions with paying a morgage etc. Your AS will come back with a vengence with stressful issues such as the abovementioned.
Let us know in ten years time when you have experienced some of the above and how faded your AS has progressed. Periods of high stress in your life regress your AS very quickly IMO. |
I also agree.
Last edited by pensieve on Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:44 am; edited 1 time in total |
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JakeWilson
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 12, 2007
Posts: 155
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:41 am Post subject: |
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| EvoVari wrote: | Of course people with AS can adapt to the world as they mature, introduce coping strategies, self control over behaviour and we learn from rejection.
I'm assuming you are not married or in a long term relationship, no children and have no major executive decisions with paying a morgage etc. Your AS will come back with a vengence with stressful issues such as the abovementioned.
Let us know in ten years time when you have experienced some of the above and how faded your AS has progressed. Periods of high stress in your life regress your AS very quickly IMO. |
That is a good point. Yes in high pressure situations it is more of an issue. (I remember when I was a camp counselor a few years ago. It was quite an issue. |
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Tim_Tex
Eclectic
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 30
Posts: 34251
Location: Houston, Texas (interim)
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:42 am Post subject: |
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| For me, it fluctuates, depending on what's going on with me. |
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JakeWilson
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 12, 2007
Posts: 155
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| Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:44 am Post subject: |
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| By the way just so you get an idea of my age, I'm a Junior in college. |
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