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Kirska
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 839
Location: Dallas, TX
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 Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:43 pm Post subject: Do you feel like you get worse with time? |
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I feel like my friend making skills are getting progressively worse as I get older. Right now, I basically feel like I have no friend making skills.
Anyone else experience this?
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Dentu
Raven
Joined: Mar 18, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 116
Location: Central VA, USA
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| Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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I think I've had the opposite. I've gotten a lot better at talking to people over time.
On the other hand, I have a whole lot less contact with people. So maybe things just got more manageable. |
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Alerion42
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 64
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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| My skills at making friends have always been bad. But yes, I do feel as if either it's getting worse as I get older, or that the older my peers get the more picky they get with who they will befriend. Either way I have much fewer friends than I did when I was younger. |
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protest_the_hero
He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.
Joined: Nov 15, 2008
Age: 171
Posts: 1053
Location: Ottawa, Ont.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:59 pm Post subject: |
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It may get harder for whatever reasons but I keep getting better and so does my social life and I don't understand how it could happen any other way.
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Pobodys_Nerfect
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 637
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:15 am Post subject: |
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| I have fewer friends than when I was younger. |
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MONKEY
Come wander with me
Joined: Jan 04, 2009
Age: 17
Posts: 2744
Location: Stoke, England
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 5:17 am Post subject: |
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Mine have fluctuated
it's gone from, bad to ok to good to ok to good to ok and is turning bad
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outlier
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 17, 2008
Posts: 1496
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:22 am Post subject: |
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| It's hard to say because there are far fewer opportunities to meet people now I'm a bit older. |
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RoisinDubh
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 25, 2009
Posts: 341
Location: Somewhere else entirely
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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I find it's getting easier in general as I get older, both functioning in general, and ESPECIALLY meeting and befriending people. The latter I attribute more to having more opportunities to meet people who share some of my interests now that I'm older, as well as living in a big place with a lot of different sorts of people, than to my own social growth. Sure, I was way more socially retarded as a kid, but I also lived in a very small town, with a very limited group of people with whom to socialize. I think in that case, even some NTs would have difficulty making friends, if they had interests and personalities that are a bit left-of-centre.
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Rok
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 135
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:34 pm Post subject: Re: Do you feel like you get worse with time? |
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| Kirska wrote: | I feel like my friend making skills are getting progressively worse as I get older. Right now, I basically feel like I have no friend making skills.
Anyone else experience this? |
Unfortunately yes. I don't understand why either. It seems as the older I get, the worse my social skills become. I think in my case, I seem to have lost a certain amount of faith in people in general, therefore it hinders my ability to want to try harder. Civilization as a whole evolves and it always becomes progressively harder to befriend people because for whatever reason to me, it seems like they always become more demanding. Perhaps I'm being cynical here, but this is just my opinion. |
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flipflopjenkins
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 05, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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My social understanding is better now than when I was a teenager, but my social motivation has decreased, and I come across as far more serious nowadays too, though I wish I didn't.
Overall I find it just as difficult to get on with people now as I did as a teen.
I made friends more easily as a very young kid, but I don't think it's so difficult at that age (though I know it is still difficult for some). |
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Huskywolf
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 05, 2009
Posts: 58
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 4:01 am Post subject: |
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| I don't feel like I've gotten better socially, but I haven't gotten worse either. However, when compared to someone else my age, I seem a LOT worse. Really I don't think I've gotten any worse, but my peers seemed to have learned so much socially since the time they were younger and I just...didn't, so I seem more behind socially than I ever was. |
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AspergerCH75
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 06, 2009
Age: 34
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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I've always struggled to make friends, I could never socialise and make many friends at school. Social gatherings are a problem for me as I do tense up. I have a tendancy to stand in one spot like a statue and not move, a simple hi, yeah, no, ok is as much as you'd get ot of me.
As a result, I am very withdrawn from society. I like my own company too much and it is a problem when having to go to social gatherings. Even when mingling with family do's like Christmas and Birthdays, I'd rather stay home.
I have one good mate who has always stuck by me. Even with him, I still find it tough to be social, but he's there for me and that is the big issue. |
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Katie_WPG
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 488
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that a lot of it can be attributed to the fact that people are harder to befriend as they get older. You need to know the fine line between "assertive" and "pushy". People don't respond to lack of assertiveness, but pushiness can get that person (and all the people THEY know) to avoid you. That's why aspies typically make fewer friends as they get older. The same is true of the rest of the population. |
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J-P
Snowy Owl
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Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 158
Location: Montréal,Québec passing by AsperLand
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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| My skill are bad and i have 1 real friend. I support you |
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Jacob12
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 14, 2009
Age: 15
Posts: 155
Location: Missouri
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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I think that we don't really get worse, just more aware of how poor our social skills are, just gotta work on it.
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