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Jsmitheh
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 14, 2008
Posts: 131
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 Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:16 am Post subject: |
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If you tell people that you were the one who did the gumtree prank, then you'll also have to tell them about what your neighbor was doing. I've had pranks go out of hand before, but this is crazy.
You should not have told anyone in the first place. |
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Catster2
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:05 am Post subject: |
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| Jsmitheh wrote: | If you tell people that you were the one who did the gumtree prank, then you'll also have to tell them about what your neighbor was doing. I've had pranks go out of hand before, but this is crazy.
You should not have told anyone in the first place. |
i told people because he was upset for getting the blame about the ads i was trying to get him out of trouble |
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Eller
Phoenix
Joined: May 02, 2007
Posts: 525
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| Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:06 am Post subject: |
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| Catster2 wrote: | | he started yelling and screaming at me tonight because i am telling people about it of course I am I have got way too far involved and I am sick of him acting like I have done everything I havent sure I sent the ads but he was the one that got me involved in the Tina stuff in the first place. I will tell people i am in things pretty deep and should never have got involved I wont take the blame for it. |
So he doesn't want people to know he was involved... But you shouldn't have to take the blame for everything. |
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Catster2
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:08 am Post subject: |
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| Eller wrote: | | Catster2 wrote: | | he started yelling and screaming at me tonight because i am telling people about it of course I am I have got way too far involved and I am sick of him acting like I have done everything I havent sure I sent the ads but he was the one that got me involved in the Tina stuff in the first place. I will tell people i am in things pretty deep and should never have got involved I wont take the blame for it. |
So he doesn't want people to know he was involved... But you shouldn't have to take the blame for everything. |
totally if the cops come even if it does drop me in it I will tell him what I have done with him hoe far involved i got i wont go out of my way to tell them but if asked I will. He keeps making threats and blackmailing me trouble is I am involved and he knows that and is using it against me. |
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Eller
Phoenix
Joined: May 02, 2007
Posts: 525
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| Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:59 am Post subject: |
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| Catster2 wrote: | | totally if the cops come even if it does drop me in it I will tell him what I have done with him hoe far involved i got i wont go out of my way to tell them but if asked I will. He keeps making threats and blackmailing me trouble is I am involved and he knows that and is using it against me. |
If he's threatening you, you should call the police on your own. I mean, you can explain that you were involved but didn't understand the full implications of what you were doing because of your Asperger's. You shouldn't be in too much trouble. |
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Jsmitheh
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 14, 2008
Posts: 131
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| Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:32 am Post subject: |
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| I don't really see a link between having aspergers and not seeing the consequences of something like this, and I severely doubt a cop would either. |
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Catster2
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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| the whole thing has gone too far now anf Michael has said he doesnt want to see me well thats ok with me at least for now. It was clear that he was just wanting me for his own ends. He claims he cant "trust" me well that is his choice sure I have not entirely told the truth to him but I was advised not to by a counsellor for self preservation. My mistake was not checking with others before using them in my stories. I now need to go and sort things out with my boss and definitely will stay away from Michael for a while. Worst part is that my other neighbour Mary-Ann has been turned against me by Michael and that is upsetting she doesnt know the whole story. Yes michael never told me to send the ads but he did say it would be "funny" and told me Tina's second name and never said not to do it so I took it literally. He did tell me to call her, knock on her door, turn off her power etc. He is making threats etc as well. |
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Catster2
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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| and there is a link between having AS and realising the wider consequences it happens to me in my wider life all the time not just with things like this. |
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Liresse
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 15, 2008
Posts: 332
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:04 am Post subject: |
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| Catster2 wrote: | | and there is a link between having AS and realising the wider consequences it happens to me in my wider life all the time not just with things like this. |
However, NTs do exactly that too (do something stupid not realising the consequences then regretting it).
Chances are, the cops/your family/friends etc will NOT say "oh he's AS it's okay that he did that." It's also possible that people will say "if you were really AS you wouldn't be that interested in other people to try and deceive them in the first place." Remember it is uncharacteristic of aspies to try and manipulate others, so in this sense you have behaved UN-aspie-ly.
Unfortunately... you are probably going to have to take responsibility for your own actions whether you want to or not.
You CAN make your situation better by trying to do the right thing and saying "I made a bad decision" instead of trying to blame it on your neurology. Seriously.
If you try and say "don't blame me I have AS" then people will be harsher towards you because it will look like you are trying to avoid responsibility.
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- Liresse |
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LabPet
alchemist
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 2920
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:42 am Post subject: |
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| Liresse wrote: | | Catster2 wrote: | | and there is a link between having AS and realising the wider consequences it happens to me in my wider life all the time not just with things like this. |
However, NTs do exactly that too (do something stupid not realising the consequences then regretting it).
Chances are, the cops/your family/friends etc will NOT say "oh he's AS it's okay that he did that." It's also possible that people will say "if you were really AS you wouldn't be that interested in other people to try and deceive them in the first place." Remember it is uncharacteristic of aspies to try and manipulate others, so in this sense you have behaved UN-aspie-ly.
Unfortunately... you are probably going to have to take responsibility for your own actions whether you want to or not.
You CAN make your situation better by trying to do the right thing and saying "I made a bad decision" instead of trying to blame it on your neurology. Seriously.
If you try and say "don't blame me I have AS" then people will be harsher towards you because it will look like you are trying to avoid responsibility. |
Ditto. I think a sincere apology would be in order - you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. I think 'blaming' your AS might make the situation worse or just prolong the agony for all. Since they might become a legal matter (yikes), just apologize and explain that you really feel badly about how this has turned-out. I think if the police are involved this would count for a lot, yes? And shows accountability. |
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Catster2
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:23 am Post subject: |
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| he has really upset me now he told someone at work that when people with Aspergers are born they should be held under water to drown. That was an awful and cruel thying to say. He keeps saying that if it gets to court he will say x, y,z to get me into it stuff like that. |
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Liresse
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 15, 2008
Posts: 332
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:21 am Post subject: |
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That is very worrying.
If you remember that your friend is the kind of person that would actively and obsessively harrass his ex-girlfriend, it's not surprising that he would now go on to actively and obsessively harrass you too. I think it is really important that you come clean to your family and friends that you care about, and get THEM on your side, so they can help defend you.
It could get worse. You may need to speak to the police too.
Otherwise you may become a victim just like his ex-girlfriend is a victim now.
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gina-ghettoprincess
Last of my kind
Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 2814
Location: The Town That Time Forgot (UK)
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Catster2 wrote: | | he has really upset me now he told someone at work that when people with Aspergers are born they should be held under water to drown. That was an awful and cruel thying to say. He keeps saying that if it gets to court he will say x, y,z to get me into it stuff like that. |
What a bastard! If someone said something like that within my hearing, THEY would be the ones wishing they'd never been born!
_________________
'Tvoi plastinki slushala ja,
I v kazhdoy nahodila sebja,
Zachem ostanovila menja?
Eva ja ljubila tebja...' |
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Tantybi
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 1099
Location: Wonderland
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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First of all, go to the cops. Accept the consequences to your actions, but get a good attorney so that those consequences aren't worse than warranted. You won't get a break for being Aspie. You will for being a snitch, but since no drugs are involved, you won't get killed for being a snitch in this case. In fact, most people who hate snitches tend to accept it when it is related to protecting women and children. That's what you are doing here. You also protect yourself and limit the consequences, but at the same time, make sure you are letting everyone know that you are concerned for the safety of this guy's ex-girlfriend. You just didn't realize how psychotic he was until now, and now you are concerned for her safety.
Legal tips...Do not speak to any cop without an attorney present. Some attorneys do pro bono cases (free), and I suggest finding a woman if possible. Also, go to the best defense attorneys in town and do the free consultation if they offer it, explain this guys name in it, so that way, it could be a conflict of interest for any of them to represent the other guy. You really don't want him to have a better attorney than you or he might flip things against you more. The girl will have the Prosecuting Attorney on her side. Always be honest. Even little things. Like Aspie honest. That's what the court expects, and NT's find themselves hanging themselves with their own little lies. Even something as stupid as what you ate that day, if you lie and change your story, you will discredit yourself completely. Be as honest as possible, and I can't stress that enough. Also be fair. Even if you hate someone in the story, be fair about how you portray them. He is psychotic, but he's also a very nice guy to hang out with otherwise. Attorneys and cops will ask the same questions over and over in an attempt to get you to discredit yourself or to get you out of frustration or a Freudian slip to admit to more. Know it will be a long and boring process, but this is why you should be honest so that way it is less work for you, and again, you will be less apt to hang yourself. If you don't remember something or you don't know, tell them. If your memory is vague, mention that more than once. Don't feel like you have to have a perfect answer to every question.
Second, understand, it sucks to have a stalker. Both you guys are lucky I'm not the exgirlfriend in this story. You do realize when you two were messing with her, at least if and when you two were on her property, she could have legally killed you out of self defense? This is beyond pranks. A prank is when you put a lot of duck tape on some guys locker at work. Or when you tell some guy at the bar that the girl is a prostitute and worth 450, no 4 dollars and 50 cents. Or when I, a woman, randomnly slap a guy and scream how dare you I'm married in a public place. Things like that. Harmless. What you two have done is not harmless, including turning off the electricity, which in of itself is a crime because it's highly dangerous to be playing with that stuff, even when you do know what you are doing (my hubby is an electrician, and he still is at high risk of getting injured or killed even when fully insulated with all the training he has). Also, I'm sure there is some sort of law prohibiting tampering with energy. The electric company could press charges.
I saw a comment on here where you have stated it once on here already and was advised against it, but you still did in anyway. Guess what, those are now conspiracy charges if the law enforcement agencies and DA finds it.
Anyway, I don't know why you go against good advice. Do you think this was going to make you cool? Did you think you were making and keeping a good friend or something? Right now, you are in a very good position to learn from your mistakes. Figure out why you did what you did and understand that even when it felt like it wasn't as big a deal as it could be, it still burned you in the end to do something you thought was wrong. I'm sure you thought there was somethign wrong with it all at the beginning and came up with a million ways to justify the actions so you could do it anyway. Remember the logic you used so you can recognize the same type of logical rant in the future and then interrupt it with it might burn me so I will play it safe and keep my nose clean.
Don't use Aspergers as an excuse because that's what people will see it as. You can mention that you have Aspergers and judgement calls are one of your greatest weaknesses, but don't make it sound like you are in any way shifting the blame off yourself to that...when dealing with friends and family. Do what your attorney says for purposes of police and court. |
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Mage
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 11, 2006
Posts: 1288
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| Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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Good lord, how horrible.
Go to Tina immediately and admit everything you've done to her. If she calls the cops, good, you deserve it. |
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