TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 2312
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
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 Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 8:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Guys, you already know the majority of socialization is fraud and deceit, and you basically just keep implying it without realizing it. You're basically just stating what you're already more than aware of...and at times it appears that you're wishing you weren't aware of it. |
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Tahitiii
Resident Whistle Blower
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 57
Posts: 2275
Location: USA
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| Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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| TheDoctor82 wrote: | | ...the majority of socialization is fraud and deceit... |
Not exactly. It's more complicated than that, although it's still pretty repulsive. But what else can you do? Either you find a way to make it work, or you live in a tarp under a bridge. |
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TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 2312
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
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| Posted: Thu May 07, 2009 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Tahitiii wrote: | | TheDoctor82 wrote: | | ...the majority of socialization is fraud and deceit... |
Not exactly. It's more complicated than that, although it's still pretty repulsive. But what else can you do? Either you find a way to make it work, or you live in a tarp under a bridge. |
My my, your outlook on it is so grim and depressing.....
Or you can find ways to work around it, as I do! |
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Amicitia
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 23, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 219
Location: NJ, USA
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| Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 3:17 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I know. Some ridiculously high percentage of people actually admit to lying every day, and yet I go on assuming that people are honest. It just doesn't occur to me to think otherwise, until much later when it's both obvious and too late to do anything about it.
It all seems really defeatist, in a "can't do it, can't learn it, gonna give up now" way, but I really don't think I could get through life being suspicious all the time. Aren't people supposed to like people who are unfailingly honest, and demand the same of others? How can I get into that niche? |
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TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 2312
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
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| Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 12:52 am Post subject: |
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| Amicitia wrote: | Yeah, I know. Some ridiculously high percentage of people actually admit to lying every day, and yet I go on assuming that people are honest. It just doesn't occur to me to think otherwise, until much later when it's both obvious and too late to do anything about it.
It all seems really defeatist, in a "can't do it, can't learn it, gonna give up now" way, but I really don't think I could get through life being suspicious all the time. Aren't people supposed to like people who are unfailingly honest, and demand the same of others? How can I get into that niche? |
Well, that may be the idea they generate thru society as moral, it doesn't mean for 5 minutes they follow it.
It may seem defeating, but you know what? A is A; reality is reality. NTs are run by emotion, and regardless of what they say and preach, they don't follow it. They expect you to put on a face as if you're following it...but if you really do, that's an utter enigma that they can't quite comprehend.
I'm pretty much that enigma to people, and many have told me they're incredibly jealous of me as I'm able to live up to a standard that they could only dream of achieving. Kinda nice to hear, actually. Whether or not I believe most mean it....hard to say. To mean it would mean they'd have to truly comprehend it...and rest assured they don't. |
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Amicitia
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 23, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 219
Location: NJ, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry to revive the topic, but... it happened again.
Today I was talking to a job coach (whom I shall call #2) and he told me that my resume was pretty awful. In self-defense, I told him that the things he was complaining about, I did on the advice of another job coach (whom I shall call #1).
#2 gave me an excellent reason why the thing #1 told me to do was Wrong and Bad.
And then I realized... it had happened again.
I saw #1 committing Authority Fallacies, but I never saw him doing it to me. The extent of my questioning his judgment was "Really? Well, okay..."
I don't believe that #1 was intentionally giving me bad advice. I don't believe that resume-writing is an exact science with only one right answer.
But it just never occurred to me not to trust #1.
Way to not use my critical thinking skills. 
I sent out a lot of copies of the #1-approved resume. How many opportunities did I lose by not being suspicious enough? |
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TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 2312
Location: Sandusky, Ohio
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| Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Amicitia wrote: | Sorry to revive the topic, but... it happened again.
Today I was talking to a job coach (whom I shall call #2) and he told me that my resume was pretty awful. In self-defense, I told him that the things he was complaining about, I did on the advice of another job coach (whom I shall call #1).
#2 gave me an excellent reason why the thing #1 told me to do was Wrong and Bad.
And then I realized... it had happened again.
I saw #1 committing Authority Fallacies, but I never saw him doing it to me. The extent of my questioning his judgment was "Really? Well, okay..."
I don't believe that #1 was intentionally giving me bad advice. I don't believe that resume-writing is an exact science with only one right answer.
But it just never occurred to me not to trust #1.
Way to not use my critical thinking skills.
I sent out a lot of copies of the #1-approved resume. How many opportunities did I lose by not being suspicious enough? |
Something tells me this definitely has something to do with being Autistic, as I can definitely relate to said situation; I've been there.
One thing I've learned is this: half the time people give advice, it's not that good. If it were good, they'd be using it, and a lot more efficiently. I don't mean they're straying you wrong intentionally, it's just that they themselves really aren't much more efficient.
In fact, for over 10 years people were giving me advice on relationships, and why I was still single, and none of it really seemed sound. 2 years ago, my co-worker at my current job gave me some advice, and it actually held me over. Yes, he gave me better advice in 5 minutes than anyone else had given me in 10 years.
What I got from this was: most people don't give good advice...cause they really don't know themselves; they go with the punches, and somehow it all works out...but they have no idea why it does. And rest assured...they don't seem to care much either. |
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