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JCC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: Mar 13, 2007
Posts: 63
Location: Central TX
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 Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:52 am Post subject: Just exsisting |
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I seem to run into a lot of threads that have the title"alone" on here. And that has promted me to think about my situation. My parents are gone and, I have one older siblling and an aunt who I stay in touch with. The other side of my family wrote us off years ago.
I'm almost 50 live virtualy alone with a few pets, have a low wage job, divorced with no kids, no interest in dating, very few friends if, you can call them that.
Should I hope the next life is better or, wait and see if this exsistence improves?
JC. |
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Icheb
Fortysomething
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1902
Location: Switzerland
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| Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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I'm quite sure there is no such thing as an immortal soul. Continuous consciousness is an illusion generated by the brain. Hence, there is no "next life", just the same nothingness we vanish into when we faint or go under anaesthesia.
And if I may practice some more "tough love", life doesn't improve unless you do something about it yourself - I'm speaking from personal experience. Giving more meaning to your life starts with searching your own emotions to find out what really motivates you, and then maximizing your experience of and exposure to that which motivates you.
_________________
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol." - N.F. Simpson |
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peterd
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 26, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 503
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 8:01 am Post subject: |
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I concur. If you're waiting for the next life, give the rest of us a break and move on to it soon. Good luck.
In this one, it's what we do that makes the difference. Yes, you've got an ASD. Tough luck - what can you do to make things easier for kids with the same problem? |
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Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 48
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:51 am Post subject: |
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I'm in a similar situation, JCC. What keeps me going is my special interests. I really enjoy them. Apart from that, my life is not worth living.
_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur. |
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sugarmama
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 16, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 49
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Icheb wrote: | I'm quite sure there is no such thing as an immortal soul. Continuous consciousness is an illusion generated by the brain. Hence, there is no "next life", just the same nothingness we vanish into when we faint or go under anaesthesia.
And if I may practice some more "tough love", life doesn't improve unless you do something about it yourself - I'm speaking from personal experience. Giving more meaning to your life starts with searching your own emotions to find out what really motivates you, and then maximizing your experience of and exposure to that which motivates you. |
nice avatar.. smile mutch
how is the afterlife.. i've been wanting to know.. been there and back i see?
jcc: one thing i've noticed on here is the ppl posters tend to attract and how similar it may be to daily life outside of the web..
there is an afterlife sweetie and you are encouragede to make the most of this one too.. don't give up.. and don't rely too much on feelings alone, ok
sarrow comes for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.. |
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sugarmama
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 16, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 49
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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| peterd wrote: | I concur. If you're waiting for the next life, give the rest of us a break and move on to it soon. Good luck.
In this one, it's what we do that makes the difference. Yes, you've got an ASD. Tough luck - what can you do to make things easier for kids with the same problem? |
what kind of a difference are you making, sir, and how are you making it easier telling someone to move on to the next life soon..
AS or NT both are not without their catagory of offenders..
i typically don't respond to responders but you guys are just harsh! |
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sugarmama
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 16, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 49
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:25 pm Post subject: Re: Just exsisting |
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| JCC wrote: | I seem to run into a lot of threads that have the title"alone" on here. And that has promted me to think about my situation. My parents are gone and, I have one older siblling and an aunt who I stay in touch with. The other side of my family wrote us off years ago.
I'm almost 50 live virtualy alone with a few pets, have a low wage job, divorced with no kids, no interest in dating, very few friends if, you can call them that.
Should I hope the next life is better or, wait and see if this exsistence improves?
JC. |
count your blessings darling..
-- you have a job (great these are hard times and alot of ppl on here don't have jobs)
-- kids are not for everyone (trust me, got 3 myself)
-- dating is highly overrated and we tend to glorify the things we don't have (until we have them.. ouch)
-- few friend (a.k.a. acquaintencas) try a more positive approach and don't wait around to have them invite you over
just go over and say hi..
you seem to have alot more than most and you don't seem as depressed as these individuals above who may just be projecting their lifeless existances..
take everything with a grain of salt and stop perceiving yourself as a victim.. do you enjoy reading..
Created to Win by Kevin Baerg.. just started reading this book and taking notes and it really helps you get focused on goals and desires instead of current situations..
Hope your situation improves.. There is more to come but this isn't our life anyway.. we are simply steward of these bodies and minds
now go and do something great with all that you've been intrusted with..  |
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Coadunate
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 14, 2008
Age: 53
Posts: 679
Location: S. California
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Have you tried to find and get together with other Aspies? |
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Icheb
Fortysomething
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1902
Location: Switzerland
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| sugarmama wrote: | how is the afterlife.. i've been wanting to know.. been there and back i see?
jcc: one thing i've noticed on here is the ppl posters tend to attract and how similar it may be to daily life outside of the web..
there is an afterlife sweetie and you are encouragede to make the most of this one too.. don't give up.. and don't rely too much on feelings alone, ok
sarrow comes for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.. |
Well, I can see you were at the back of the line when they were handing out brains. I clearly stated why I'm convinced the concept of an "afterlife" is nonsense. But you seem to know all about it - or are you just one of those people who bully others into sharing their superstitions?
_________________
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol." - N.F. Simpson |
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idle
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 24, 2008
Posts: 27
Location: Auckland New Zealand
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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I can relate to that just existing and the realization that you're alone.
That's not exactly different to anyone's general existence, we are all alone it's just that some of us actually notice it!
Friends: you probably have more than you think, it's not them it's us, we ourselves are the ones who chooses to have them or not! We just don't realize that we're the ones spurning or pushing people away due to lack of empathy or interest or whatever.
JOB: not a reason for existence or something to be necessarily desired.
KIDS: they give you good reason to exist but then they also take up all your time
Relationships: Great while it's all chemical or just well great, but it also can take up all your time
Dating: Depends upon the motives, can be fun, can be a trial.
End of the day, your standing in a room full of doors, you only need to open one and step through it!
If nothing is happening it's because nothing is happening, stimulus response! ground control to major tom!
So get off your butt and get out the door and find something new and challenging. You've got food you've got shelter and you've got a brain that needs some stimulating.
Who cares about the next life this one is great! Well its what you make of it, even if it totally sucks but you can still make it great.
life is served to those that sit and wait, its just that what gets served is generally the proverbial, so instead of being served help yourself and if life still seems like the proverbial then you obviously just like getting it rather than giving it or rising above it!
Anyway at least talking about it is a start for change, so hopefully you'll find something to put the spring back in your step |
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MissConstrue
@}-->-,----
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 17528
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| Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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That's so sad but I also relate to a lot of these stories. It's so easy for someone to tell you make the best of your lonely situation. Easy to point our one's bright sides and live better but talking and action are two different things. Plus not most people with asperger or autism are born loners.....poor social skills result in an unfullfilled life from lack of relationships.
The only good I see in making the best is by helping others out there that really do live in misery. I've felt pretty good whenever I did volunteer work that was helping someone or something. The feeling is rewarding although I guess people may differ in what feels rewarding.
If there were such a place as the afterlife or a next life.....I'd probably be more scared than happy. I mean what if my next life is living in a third world country or something worse?
I'd be comforted if there really was such a thing as an afterlife.......if it wasn't a manmade belief. Plus I'm too fond of there being a hell based on most religious ideologies!
If I were you, I'd try to make the best out of this life possible even if you have to go through scary things. My reality of living is connecting....even if there as "unimportant" as animals. Create, make believe, find your inner passion and calling to whatever fullfills your void. I find painting and music a great way to escape into a life I don't have.
_________________
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
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JCC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: Mar 13, 2007
Posts: 63
Location: Central TX
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| Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for all the good advise. Someone once told me everyting comes in cycles, mabey I'm just going through one. Holidays are still the worst by far! But then again, I don't have to put up with visits from unpleasent relitives.
JC. |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 52
Posts: 4314
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:13 am Post subject: Re: Just exsisting |
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| JCC wrote: | I seem to run into a lot of threads that have the title"alone" on here. And that has promted me to think about my situation. My parents are gone and, I have one older siblling and an aunt who I stay in touch with. The other side of my family wrote us off years ago.
I'm almost 50 live virtualy alone with a few pets, have a low wage job, divorced with no kids, no interest in dating, very few friends if, you can call them that.
Should I hope the next life is better or, wait and see if this exsistence improves?
JC. |
That's my life! |
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Saja
Raven
Joined: May 12, 2009
Posts: 103
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| Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:35 am Post subject: |
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| Icheb wrote: | | Well, I can see you were at the back of the line when they were handing out brains. I clearly stated why I'm convinced the concept of an "afterlife" is nonsense. But you seem to know all about it - or are you just one of those people who bully others into sharing their superstitions? |
Well, well, aren't we mister tolerance for diversity.
I generally ignore this kind of thing, but you caught me on a bad day, where my tolerance for the idiotic, bigoted, and stupid is at a minimum.
Your logic is incredibly faulty and thus hysterically ironic. You stated your belief that continuous consciousness is an illusion created by the brain. That's not a fact, just your personal take on things. To which you're welcome, and I agree with you on that point, but what on earth impels you to knock down people who believe otherwise?
As for the irony, the slurs you hurl in the above post apply best to you: faulty logic (back of the brain line?), bully others into sharing their supserstitions (exactly what you do with your post).
Go away.
_________________
autism-fallingintoplace.blogspot.com - where I explore learning to live with my autism
Much madness is divinest sense, to a discerning eye; much sense, the starkest madness. --Emily Dickinson |
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Zola
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 17, 2009
Age: 47
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:17 pm Post subject: |
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| JCC wrote: | Thanks for all the good advise. Someone once told me everyting comes in cycles, mabey I'm just going through one. Holidays are still the worst by far! But then again, I don't have to put up with visits from unpleasent relitives.
JC. |
There's nothing stopping you from making a pleasant holiday for yourself, either. Have you considered volunteering for someplace like Salvation Army? I know sometimes when I feel like things are just awful, it's a good reminder that plenty of people are worse off than me. |
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