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ScottF
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 03, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 586
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 Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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Yes it did...ALOT of issues
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One day you dumb, brainy smarties will look upon us and beg for mercy...and we will consider it. -Peter Griffin |
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Turisas
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 01, 2009
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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| I was bullied relentlessly all throughout highschool. It really messed me up and completely killed my self esteem. I'm still affected by it to this day. |
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exhausted
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2009
Posts: 552
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| Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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yes. very thin-skinned, often paranoid when people are laughing or whispering nearby. tend to be cynical, especially about groups of people. wish it didn't still affect me, but i guess it does.
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word demon. |
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DSHikaru
Emu Egg
Joined: Jul 02, 2009
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:55 am Post subject: |
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| yup i have this kind of problems too... people call me names and this makes me have a headache and i'll go mad later on... lke a devil |
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theimperiousdork
The Call Boy
Joined: Jul 08, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 1894
Location: Manila, PH
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| Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:36 am Post subject: |
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To be honest, bullying had affected me a lot.
In high school, I was being called names, and at the same time, physically bullied: being thrown objects (books, chalk, stones, anything the bullies could pick) at, as well as being beaten at random. At the same time I became more firm and aggressive against my bullies at that time, thanks to some friends who were willing to help me out, I became more withdrawn and introverted.
Also, I tend to go paranoid over any potential backstabbing and disloyalty, even to the point that I have been suspicious of my closest friends. I mean, during my college days, I was trolled by people I thought were my friends, and that started my perpetual hate of backstabbers.
Sigh...  |
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seebert
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 09, 2009
Age: 39
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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I wasn't diagnosed until I was 30. The bullying for all my school years caused me to end my schooling as soon as I got my bachelor's degree, and I've got such paranoia about school settings that I won't even bother to study for or take the GRE.
The paranoia is still with me at 38. It will likely be with me my whole life. One way I've coped (because sometimes, paranoia isn't just paranoia) is to carry a folding cane with me on the train & bus, just in case. Funny how just taking it out and clicking it together will cause a group of rowdy teenagers to quiet down. |
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CaptainTrips222
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 31, 2009
Posts: 181
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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A lot of these posts are so sad...
to answer the topic, I'm sure my negative experiences have affected me. They stunted my social growth. I weighed 232 lbs in 7th grade. You can imagine how that could lead to bullying. I forced myself to diet and lose a massive amount of weight, which I obsessively struggle to keep off, since I've come to associate my self worth with it. To avoid bullying, I became shy and quiet throughout gradeschool, and that took its tole. I didn't learn how to speak normally, or to emote properly, so that pretty much screwed me over. I was so confused... I'm still learning. It's hard to relax too- it always feels like someone's going to attack me if I let my guard down.
I don't know what kind of person I'd be today if not for the bullying, but I'm sure it messed me up. |
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ProfessorX
A cartoonish-like person
Joined: Feb 09, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 2467
Location: Somewhere over there
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| Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:52 am Post subject: |
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In regards to the psychological after effects of bullying, well, I've often found it very hard to say not to someone or to a particular scenario as well.Often I've found myself being dragged around and made to feel as, if I was some Chinese peasant working in the fields and that it is okay to mistreat me in anyway shape or form.. I do try to work at not letting people belittle me and all yet, I'll admit that it is not easy at all..
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Rocko: [trying to turn the Suck-o-Matic off] I must cease this senseless sucking!
[keeps pulling and pushing the switch and nothing happens]
Rocko: It's stuck in suck!
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raisedbyignorance
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 29, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 425
Location: Indianapolis
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| Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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Ironically, most of the bullying I endured was by my "so-called" friends more than others. Exception being the boy in 7th grade who started my psychological downfall by constantly calling me "stupid" "slow" and "loser" in the hallways and was always constantly criticizing me over my strange quirks. I spent my whole high school years believing I was all three things.
In 8th grade. My girlfriends decided to treat me as less of a person after I came crawling back to them for friendship out of desperation. I didn't have much of a choice because this was a VERY small school. I thought it was rather mean of them when our 8th grade class was stopping some place for breakfast on our way to our class DC trip. There were no more seats when I joined them and they told me teasingly to go sit at a table by myself. I didn't see why I couldn't just pulled up an extra chair (you would in a situation like that right). Well they practically got at me until they drove me off and I ended up eating my breakfast alone. Not one of them even came to join me.
The bullying continued again in college. My ex-boyfriend being the biggest bully I had to deal with. He thought it would be funny when he got administrator powers over a forum I was a member of...to hack into my profile and change my picture to that of a fat retarded man and change my gender to a male. We've been getting at each other's s**t endlessly since then. I dunno if it's common for an exboyfriend to treat you like that after he breaks up with you. I thought he would've gone easier on me after that but I guess I was wrong. Other friends were also mean to me...mostly racist. I mean I know they're being funny but the Asian jokes can get real old real fast. No one seemed to care though. Everytime I try to crack even the smallest joke, someone finds it offensive. But everything they do to me is considered "okay". I had no business being on a sketch comedy show to begin with so I tend to think I brought this on myself. |
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ProfessorX
A cartoonish-like person
Joined: Feb 09, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 2467
Location: Somewhere over there
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| Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 10:39 am Post subject: |
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raisedbyignorance, I can understand how people often treat you in a cruel,callous manner.Often most people tend to think bullying as, being physically pushe around all.Actually bullying, can be many things to various people and alll. I remember once how someone in P.E class had destroyed shall we say, my only pair of underwear which, I was going to change into after the class was over and this person thought it was funny  .Honestly, there can even be people whom bully you in terms of relationships as, I remember someone whom, I knew from High School often acted as, if she was my friend only to publicly embarrass at my place of occupation.  Anyways, I've learned to better deal with those tyrants and all and try not to be anyone's peasant in the rice fields as, I like to call it.Something which, symbolically reminds me of being a servant as such or rather one's object to constant ridicule and such..
_________________
Rocko: [trying to turn the Suck-o-Matic off] I must cease this senseless sucking!
[keeps pulling and pushing the switch and nothing happens]
Rocko: It's stuck in suck!
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raisedbyignorance
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 29, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 425
Location: Indianapolis
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| Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:48 am Post subject: |
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I also forgot to mention the boy in 8th grade who pretended to be in love with me and would say "I love you" to me across classrooms or say to me "has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" (which people in class would respond to with laughter). I guess it had to do with the fact that my peers thought I was a cold being who just needed that said to me or that I wasn't hugged enough as a child because he clearly wasnt interested in me and he got a girlfriend later in the year. Dont you hate it when people think of you like that and feel it's their obligation to "fix you"? Anyway, this guy's constant badgering screwed with my mind pretty bad. I ended up having a crush on him but I think maybe then since I was very unfamiliar with the concept of crushes or romantic feelings and I was pratically alone, perhaps I was more in need of people who were giving me attention like he was, even if it was negative attention.
Anyway I've lost my ability to determine/trust crushes, vs, need of friends, vs romantic feelings from that whole experience only to find that he died a few years ago. Just great...to me a bullying dying is far from karma....a bully dying is a bully who gets away with what they did without remorse. You dont know how angry I was to find out that he died because I had been considering many ways to get back at him for quite some time. |
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ProfessorX
A cartoonish-like person
Joined: Feb 09, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 2467
Location: Somewhere over there
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| Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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raisedbyignorance, Yes in some ways, I can recall back then how I was voted as class president at the time but, honestly I felt that it was not sincere and simply chose to have myself removed of that title altogether.Still, most likely having someone cause you so much turmoil in your life had to be quite difficult..I shan't lie and say, I never wished bad things to come unto people whom had wreaked havoc on my life but, overall was able to continue to live a near-normal life even though these days, I'm still somewhat self-conscious in regards to my overall appearance which, probably seems outlandish..
_________________
Rocko: [trying to turn the Suck-o-Matic off] I must cease this senseless sucking!
[keeps pulling and pushing the switch and nothing happens]
Rocko: It's stuck in suck!
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sunshower
Ethereality
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Age: 21
Posts: 2363
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| Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:13 pm Post subject: |
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psychological bullying left a bigger impact on me than any physical bullying.
Bruises heal in days. Mental problems resulting from psychological trauma can be lifelong.
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Circular syncopation. |
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raisedbyignorance
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 29, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 425
Location: Indianapolis
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| Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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| ProfessorX wrote: | | raisedbyignorance, Yes in some ways, I can recall back then how I was voted as class president at the time but, honestly I felt that it was not sincere and simply chose to have myself removed of that title altogether. |
I know alot of people who would yell at me or criticize me one day then the next day they all act super sincere. The way I see it I may have come off a little unfriendly to them (or we may have at each other's throats clearly acknowledge that we aren't going to get along) but when they start acting super nice or super sweet around me...I'm going to assume that they're f**king with my mind. I guess it's a standard thinking of NTs: If a person doesnt seem friendly or nice, it means they weren't hugged enough or havent been shown enough kindness.
That's when they pull off their most pathetic superniceness act just to ANNOY me. And ONLY TO ANNOY ME. You see how difficult it would be for an aspie like me to find THAT intentionally sincere?
Perhaps in an NT world, the fantasy idea is that you can solve all the world's problems with acts of kindness. Somebody needs to tell these people that this isn't always the case. I'd rather people just respect me and my personal space instead of trying to give me a hug everytime I'm moody (or uncomfortable). Giving me a hug when you're clearly not my friend and I'm in a bad mood is the ultimate form of teasing and insulting me. |
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pekkla
Raven
Joined: Jun 11, 2009
Posts: 109
Location: Berkeley, CA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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My 13 year old aspie son has been bullied since first grade, and its gotten worse in middle school, which I know happens even to NT kids. Everyone seems concerned about the physical bullying but not so much about eh psycholgical bullying, which is much worse. Even his dad seems to suggest to me that maybe our son is "whining" when he talks about it. This is crap. I am an aspie too and have lived with emotional abuse and the mind games by many people most of my life. The net result for me is rock-bottom self esteem, because even though I intellectually know the teasing has no basis in fact, I feel there is something "bad", "inferior" or "wrong" about me. I'm afraid that's what me son has to look forward to.
He has another tendency that I have--which is to seek out the wrong people, try to be friends with people who don't like him. He gets used and manipulated. He is very naive. How can I teach him to not be so naive when I can barely avoid falling into the trap myself?
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