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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 2125
Location: Maryland
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 Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:26 pm Post subject: "Friends in the Aspie Style" |
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I saw that mentioned in one of the other threads, as a friend you can go ages without talking to, but it not changing how you feel about the person, and I wanted to ask about it, like how many other people have those.
Is this common, or do most aspies never find others coincidentally in real life? I never knew it was an "aspie style" friendship.. I just thought that what made me and Alicia best friends was that we can be so close in some ways, tell each other anything, and then just not have any contact for long periods of time, but be able to pick right back up where we left off. And that, despite the fact that I'd tell her anything and have known her for twelve years, talking on the phone is still awkward! Not that it's a nervous like "will I say the wrong thing?" kind of thing, but just that neither of us knows how to hold a conversation. Although, when in person, we do hug. 
Anyone else have a long-term close-but-not-always-close-and-sometimes-far-away friend? |
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pensieve
Autist and Artist
Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 3258
Location: NSW, Australia
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:18 am Post subject: Re: "Friends in the Aspie Style" |
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| Maggiedoll wrote: |
Anyone else have a long-term close-but-not-always-close-and-sometimes-far-away friend? |
Yes, I have about four - all girls. I was surprised about my friend Erica; we rarely talk even online but i a few weeks we're going to a show together and I just know we're going to just be like we were 2 years ago, because when we see each other at shows it's like I instantly reconnect with her. There's no awkwardness, like I have with other people I see most days.
One of my other friends I didn't see in years met up with me at a show and we had a great time.
There was one boy like this, but he is an ex and to be quite honest I don't want to reconnect with him.
I don't have any close friends that live in my town, but I've got a lot of long-term-far-away friends.
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anon0915
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 04, 2009
Age: 34
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 2:19 am Post subject: good not so good friend |
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| i do. i have a friend that, when lived here, wasn't the best relationship. once he moved, we only see each other a couple times a year. suddenly, each time we catch up, it is comfortable and rewarding. |
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ViperaAspis
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 27, 2009
Age: 41
Posts: 929
Location: Portland, OR
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Crocodile
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 28, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 423
Location: The Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 5:27 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I have one. Being separate for a while makes our friendship stronger even.
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TB
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Oct 06, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 184
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 5:50 am Post subject: |
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| yes i have this also doesnt matter how long its been you just continue like you saw them yesterday. |
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CyclopsSummers
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 386
Location: Mokum, the Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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I don't, at all. In fact, whenever I had been apart for a long time from someone I knew well (like old school friends, or acquaintances and even some relatives), it was difficult for me to re-establish the good rapport. So much so, that I once said to my mother when I was 13-ish "Mum, if we would ever be separated for a year, or ten years, our relationship would have faded and watered down", on which my mother disagreed. When I don't see a person daily or weekly or at least regularly, and I lose sight of that person for years, no matter how close they are (or perhaps seem), it does water down and I'll no longer be quite as comfortable around them because of lack of 'practice' or 'stimulus' in the contact between us.
The funny thing is, that I had always attributed this aspect of my personality to my autism.
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Kaleido
Happy aspie
Joined: Feb 19, 2007
Posts: 2655
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:10 pm Post subject: Re: "Friends in the Aspie Style" |
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| Maggiedoll wrote: | | Anyone else have a long-term close-but-not-always-close-and-sometimes-far-away friend? |
Yes, all of my best friendships are like this. I sometimes need at least a years worth of space. |
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Maggiedoll
Loon
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 2125
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 2:52 pm Post subject: |
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| CyclopsSummers wrote: | I don't, at all. In fact, whenever I had been apart for a long time from someone I knew well (like old school friends, or acquaintances and even some relatives), it was difficult for me to re-establish the good rapport.
...
The funny thing is, that I had always attributed this aspect of my personality to my autism. |
I think the difference is in the NTs... Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but you can really only have a friendship like that with an aspie/autistic.. an NT would have made many new friends and drifted away in that time, considering other people closer, but since aspies tend to have so few friends to begin with, the drift is less noticeable. I guess |
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