marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 9207
Location: Western Michigan
|
 Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 3:44 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| I'm the same way. In real life the people I can carry on a conversation with most easily are NT's with an INTP/INFP personality. Aspies with a different personality type than me always annoy me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
RoisinDubh
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 25, 2009
Posts: 341
Location: Somewhere else entirely
|
| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 10:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
I don't really know if my Asperger's is mild or severe....I was often mistaken for an autistic savant as a child, but these days, I'm pretty well-socialized and come across as (according to most people) a slightly eccentric, sometimes pompous (I'll cop to it!), incredibly straightforward 'normal person' who kills people in pub quizzes and knows everything there is to know about music  . I know what my residual problems are, though, even though most of the time I keep them pretty well under wraps, and it bothers me severely to see Aspies who started out with far fewer issues than I did, at my age or close to it, being totally non-functional and using Asperger's as their excuse for it. THOSE are the Aspies that annoy the hell out of me, and GOD, do they ever annoy me. Even my boyfriend, who I was friends with for years, annoyed me something dreadful when we were first dating, because till our relationship took this turn, I'd no idea how low-functioning he was in his everyday life. Luckily, he's straightening himself out, because I was sure I was going to kill him for awhile.
There are smaller issues I have with some Aspie friends, that I deal with only because I'm sure they sometimes have the same problems with me....for instance, as bad as it is taking everything literally when you're dealing with an NT, it's particularly difficult to communicate with someone when BOTH of you take everything literally, and additionally, you're both sarcastic bastards who only understand YOUR OWN sarcasm much of the time. 
_________________
'I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man' -Oscar Wilde |
|
| Back to top |
|
poopylungstuffing
Lolliwink Slayer
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 7618
Location: Snapdragon Ridge
|
| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 12:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| RoisinDubh wrote: |
There are smaller issues I have with some Aspie friends, that I deal with only because I'm sure they sometimes have the same problems with me....for instance, as bad as it is taking everything literally when you're dealing with an NT, it's particularly difficult to communicate with someone when BOTH of you take everything literally, and additionally, you're both sarcastic bastards who only understand YOUR OWN sarcasm much of the time. |
Heh  I have this problem a lot with my very AS-ish boyfriend...
um...My problem is that I don't really get along with anyone I am not used to...and it takes me a long time to get used to new people who are hanging around...Aspies, NTs and everyone else in-between...or beyond.
I am very nervous and avoidant around most people until I have grow accustomed to having them around all the time...We have an aspie guy working for us...and I still have not quite broken out of my shell with him...but it is just because I am not used to him yet...it has only recently gotten to be slightly easier.
Um...
There was "crazy Aspie lady" of the extremely extroverted variety who sometimes worked at our old location...she drove me nuts with her lack of sense of personal boundaries...She was always getting way up in my face and also touching me...and FORCING me to make eye contact with her wide eyed stare...and rearranging everything her way...and so on and so forth....she drove me bonkers.
There was also a guy who I am pretty sure was an aspie who would show up at my screen printing workshop just to heckle me because he had worked in commercial screen printing for years, and didn't have anything better to do...
A lot of the time I am painfully aware of how different I am from most of the Aspies who hang around my place....but that doesn't make me not get along with them....Hopefully they understand I am usually not good at "hanging out"...
I have more in common with my close AS-ish friend....he is left-handed, artsy, and childlike...like me...and i am used to him because I have known him for years.
_________________
http://www.youtube.com/user/MsPuppetrina
http://www.youtube.com/poopylungstuffing
http://www.superhappyfunland.com
"Ifthefoolwouldpersistinhisfolly,hewouldbecomewise" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chyndonax
Snowy Owl
Joined: May 25, 2009
Age: 43
Posts: 130
|
| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 2:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Generally speaking the more symptoms they have the less well I get along with them.
_________________
Whatever plot these fiends lay against us we will go on. This insolence of theirs is nothing new --Dante |
|
| Back to top |
|
SweetEvilCindy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 25, 2009
Age: 45
Posts: 54
Location: Virginia
|
| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:21 pm Post subject: Re: Trouble getting along with other Aspies |
|
|
| spacephrawg wrote: | I'm an interesting case. I have a fairly mild case of AS. Where ever I go, I'm either the most or least normal person in the room. Except when theres mostly neurotypicals around and there's one other Aspie. Then all of a sudden people realize I'm actually "not all that bad".
I discovered something in high school. I really don't get along well with other people on the spectrum. Typically they look up to me because I'm fairly well adjusted in some areas. However I find them to be bloody annoying, perhaps because they are exaggerations of things I'm insecure about. I mean no disrespect to any of you. I just find this to be so.
There's an Aspergers association where I live. I find the concept of one to be extremely amusing. Thing is its extremely stressful to go there. Everyone's got "The Look". The social unease is palpable. The stereotypes display themselves large as life. My god it is annoying. I asked a few of the more normal-seeming Aspies there if they felt similarly about fellow aspies. They thought i was on drugs or something.
Later I asked my psychologist about this. he has a lot of experience with people on the spectrum. He told me that it is common that people on the spectrum find other people with the condition to be annoying. He attempted to explain to me why and i was already way ahead of him.
However I haven't met any similarly minded aspies, perhaps for the better. Online is a different matter, but they're still rare.
Am I alone in this? |
I seem to sense this to be the case ......
_________________
Dark Greetings |
|
| Back to top |
|
Tim_Tex
Professor Hineybottom
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 41865
Location: Houston, Texas
|
| Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 8:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
For me, it depends on the person, since Aspies can range from being severely functioning, to mild, almost NT-like.
I am on the mild end of the spectrum. I don't have the sensory issues like I used to, and not taking things literally as much as I used to, and I don't have schedule issues (unless it interferes with the Simpsons and South Park, my two favorite TV shows).
I am ENFP according to Myers-Briggs. |
|
| Back to top |
|
MathGirl
admitted workaholic
Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 2784
Location: Ontario, Canada
|
| Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I was trying to get along with one aspie from my school and TRIED talking about his interests. It went ok for a while, but then I guess I paid too much attention to him (becoming too emotionally attached to people is one of the reasons why I might annoy them) and began talking more about my interests as well, and this annoyed him. He asked me to stop talking to him altogether without giving me any verbal cues to the fact that he found me annoying. In his email, he told me to avoid him and to stop emailing him, and to also delete all of the email messages that he sent me in the past. I read his email during my autism support group meeting, and totally blanked out. Happily, people there understood my troubles and offered me consolation. If I read the email at home, I would probably end up cutting my wrists and breaking stuff. 
It is painful. My first attempt at trying to get the other person to be my friend instead of other people coming up to me and offering their friendship, and I end up failing. I guess I just talk too much sometimes. I'm so ignorant and selfish... 
_________________
We are all like specks of dust, floating around amidst the universe and trying to make something of ourselves in this transcendent, independent continuum of space and time...
I really need to stop going on this forum due to time constraints. |
|
| Back to top |
|
DerKodeMeister
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jul 24, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 182
Location: USA
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:52 am Post subject: Re: Trouble getting along with other Aspies |
|
|
In real life I only know one other Aspie, and we don't really share the same interests or way of thinking, so we don't really talk that much. It's not that I mind him or anything, we just don't have anything in common really besides having AS.
_________________
If all mankind were to disappear, the world would regenerate back to the rich state of equilibrium that existed ten thousand years ago. If insects were to vanish, the environment would collapse into chaos.
-E.O. Wilson |
|
| Back to top |
|
activebutodd
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: May 30, 2009
Posts: 827
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 9:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
My AS traits annoy me. It's kind of like I can see myself as an NT would but can't stop being the way I am. It's so frustrating. Especially as I often seem to 'pass' and a lot of NTs around me refuse to believe that I'm AS, but still have difficulties with what they don't know are my AS associated traits.  It doesn't help that my language is good but often my understanding isn't as good.
I haven't met many Aspies, if you only count the people who certainly have it. There was one boy at school who really annoyed me, because he was extremely tall and large, and a bully. He would go into your locker, snoop and take your stuff out, and insult you or try to trip you. Or he would be allowed to play computer games while you were forced to work because the female special needs staff were afraid to discipline him. But maybe that wasn't only AS, I'm willing to admit it might have been because of his personality or being spoiled also. Not all aspies are bullies.
There was an Autistic girl in another place I was at, I liked her and worried for her sometimes when people tried to exploit her, but she was a little annoying because she would never answer you, just ignore you and go back to watching tv. Or she'd come to your door, and when you answered, trying to get her to say what she wanted from you was 'like pulling teeth'.
Sometimes I feel like I have a foot in each world and so I'm not accepted by AS or NT. It's a lonely feeling.
_________________
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Katie_WPG
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 08, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 509
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
Again, this really depends on the aspie.
The ones that I've met fall into two categories:
The ones that have moved on with their lives, and the ones that didn't.
It doesn't really have to do with severity or intelligence. I've seen people that are nice, and bright. I'm fine with being friends with them...but we barely have anything in common.
While myself, and several other aspies I've met are out working, or in University, some of the ones I've met seem content just laying around the house all day, surfing the net and playing video games. They haven't been able to "get over" the whole AS diagnosis thing, and just move on. They feel that they have to "accept their limitations". And they'll be in for a very rude awakening when they realize that their parents aren't willing to support them anymore.
The ones that have moved on with their lives tend to range in noticeability. None of them are severe severe, but I've had people make comments to me about "that creepy (insert name here)". Many of whom I suspected had AS. And they were nice people, but I can see how some NTs would mistake them for creeps. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Brittany2907
Neopets Addict
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4920
Location: New Zealand
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
| spacephrawg wrote: | | There's an Aspergers association where I live. I find the concept of one to be extremely amusing. Thing is its extremely stressful to go there. Everyone's got "The Look". The social unease is palpable. The stereotypes display themselves large as life. My god it is annoying. I asked a few of the more normal-seeming Aspies there if they felt similarly about fellow aspies. They thought i was on drugs or something. |
I've been to an AS social group a few times and everyone there had "The Look" that you are talking about. I was thinking to myself..."I can't really be like this, can I?". I've stared at myself in the mirror many times, trying to see if I could see Aspergers inside of me and I know that's stupid but they were textbook Aspergers, every single person there and I started thinking that maybe I didn't have AS at all.
I told my counsellor my thoughts on the subject and she explained to me that it's common for people with AS to not see themselves in the diagnosis. She said that it's common for them to have the awareness to see oddities in others, but not in themselves. This puzzled me because I KNOW that I'm odd, I don't fit in with the norm but I certainly don't display what they other people displayed at the group. My counsellor disagrees so I guess I'm stuck.
_________________
I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends. |
|
| Back to top |
|
GoatOnFire
Greatest Of All Time
Joined: Feb 23, 2007
Posts: 5149
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
It depends on the aspie, for the most part I tend not to get along with other aspies, but my best acquaintance is an aspie.
I've met a few aspies before. My high school had 5 or 6. I once went to an asperger's support group a few times when I was 18.
When I meet aspies my biggest problem with them is that they seem to be closed minded and seem to not want to talk to me at all. I've met over a dozen aspies before and every single one of them is pretty close to your stereotypical nerd. They're out of shape, play a lot of video games, and are very averse to anything sports related. I don't fit that mold, though. I'm a former college basketball player, I'm still in good shape and exercise, though I do sometimes play video games so I don't completely buck the stereotype. I don't seem to fit into other aspies' preconceptions of an aspie so they close themselves off to me without giving me a chance, they dismiss me as a jock, except for the one exception who has an open mind and actually tries to talk to me.
Most of my other acquaintances are very NT. The type that has many, many acquaintances, and tends to be very friendly to everyone.
_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Tim_Tex
Professor Hineybottom
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 41865
Location: Houston, Texas
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
If one has an extremely rigid schedule, or has to have things a certain way (and will not compromise), is there a way to reach some sort of compromise, or would I (the flexible one) have to just give in all the time?
I was in a situation where I had pursued someone romantically, and she wouldn't date me because I didn't live within walking distance, she accused me of not having a good enough personality (yet she liked it from day one, and I hadn't noticed any changes). I tried negotiating and reasoning with her, but when I did, she accused me of trying to "manipulate" or "guilt-trip" her. The only reason I was able to keep a friendship for a few more months was because I basically said "OK, you're the boss", and let her have her way. I stopped discussing my feelings out of fear of losing the friendship--I was practically bullied into not discussing them. She would never listen to anything I said.
Distance: I was only about 100 miles away, translating to a 2-hour drive over mainly rural areas with a 70 mph speed limit that is rarely enforced, which was nothing.
Personality: She complained that I had a weak personality because I got upset and objected to her not compromising. What was I supposed to say? "I am happy that you don't want to date me"? And she had really crazy ideas about personality, and kept changing the definition of personality, to confuse me.
When I tried to reason her regarding those things, that's when she accused me of trying to manipulate her.
Then came the 6-month silence. She stopped answering my e-mails and blocked me from IM, without ever telling me why, despite her promise to "never disappear without a reason". The only reason I got one last e-mail from her was because I asked a friend to e-mail her, and she was angry that I gave someone else her e-mail address. I meant absolutely no bad intent with it, but instead of thinking of me as a concerned friend, she was acting like I was some sort of creepy stalker who was out to get her. I would never dream of acting that way with anybody.
And because of her, I have to lie and tell people I'm an atheist and have left-wing political views (she was a Christian and conservative, and so am I) in order to attract people with the same interests.
My thoughts: Anyone who can't make compromises like that has absolutely no business being in a relationship.
_________________
<<<=== This is not the devil, this is the Red Guy from Cow and Chicken. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
