Scared to death of my teaching job!

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Island
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25 Aug 2009, 1:32 am

I worked in special education for two years and that seemed to be my niche; I enjoyed it so much, I guess because of how non-traditional the teaching was (you can't just stand in front of the class and lecture, etc.). However, I had to leave that position and start a new one, but this is in kindergarten. I can't explain why it's so scary to me. I'm absolutely falling apart. Today was my first day and I'm terrified. I really don't know what to do.

I think my asperger's is getting worse as I get older or something.


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Llixgrjb
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25 Aug 2009, 4:10 am

What inspired you to go into teaching in the first place? Especially the lower grades?

There is something unnerving about younger kids. It seems like they can see right through you. Their powers of observation are sharp, their lack of tact and empathy is cutting...



glider18
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25 Aug 2009, 6:37 am

Hello Island. I too am a teacher---and I know what you are going through. First, I know some people wonder how we with AS decided on teaching. My therapist asked me that once. I told him I was familiar with the routine of school---it was all I had known since childhood. To get a job in the classroom was placing me in a familiar place. So...I taught high school English for 19 years...then...after the administration suggested I become the gifted intervention specialist...I agreed. After accepting the position in the summer 2007, I fell apart. I became a mess. I cried, I panicked, I was depressed...I did not know what was happening to me. Well...the reason for my crisis was the change in what had been a familiar routine. I think that is what is happening to you...it's a change in what has been familiar to you. Now, I am happy with my job of working with gifted kids. And I believe you will be happy too with your new position. Just trust that you will be alright. I believe it is normal for those of us with autism to get upset when our routines change. But after a few days, you should become adjusted.

Best wishes to you...and feel free to PM me anytime.

glider18


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OverEducated
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18 Nov 2009, 1:19 am

Island wrote:
I worked in special education for two years and that seemed to be my niche; I enjoyed it so much, I guess because of how non-traditional the teaching was (you can't just stand in front of the class and lecture, etc.). However, I had to leave that position and start a new one, but this is in kindergarten. I can't explain why it's so scary to me. I'm absolutely falling apart. Today was my first day and I'm terrified. I really don't know what to do.

I think my asperger's is getting worse as I get older or something.


I totally relate to what you're saying. My parents encouraged me to become a teacher after college because I always liked school and I was a good student. I definitely enjoyed the structured environment and the routine, and ended up going to a purely academic university. I have my teaching license now (K-5) but no teaching job. Student teaching was a nightmare- they made me go through it three times! When I finally passed my cooperating teacher wouldn't recommend me for a job with the public school district. So, I took my license and applied to work in a private school. They hired me as a first grade teacher and I only lasted one week. It was awful. I didn't know when or how to ask for help. I think it was just too much responsibility for me, as bright as I am intellectually.

I have subbed a lot in the past and it works really well for me. The day is planned out for you, and you don't have to collaborate with anybody. I love everything about school, but it's so different when you're not the student anymore. :(