| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
mrturtle
Emu Egg
Joined: Oct 13, 2009
Posts: 7
|
 Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:33 pm Post subject: favorite jokes? post here! |
 |
|
mine is:
what is a rocket ship mixed with a potato?
spudnik! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Willard
Suicide Mohel
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 1533
Location: CSA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
The Aristocrats!
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out."
- Bill Hicks |
|
| Back to top |
|
Willard
Suicide Mohel
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 1533
Location: CSA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Okay, here's a G-rated one:
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
A: Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
 Works better with a rim-shot.
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out."
- Bill Hicks |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
ya heard about the girl who kissed her canary and caught chirpes?
her doctor told her it was untweetable.
_________________
where sin abounds, grace abounds the more;
Non omnis moriar |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:32 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8!
_________________
where sin abounds, grace abounds the more;
Non omnis moriar |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A minnie van!
_________________
where sin abounds, grace abounds the more;
Non omnis moriar |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:36 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
I bet you were mad.
Mad? I was foaming at the mouth! |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:37 pm Post subject: |
|
|
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs!  |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:41 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Have you ever seen a man eating tiger?
No, but in the cafe next door I once saw a man eating chicken!
Last edited by sinsboldly on Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:47 pm; edited 2 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe!
Last edited by sinsboldly on Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:47 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13221
Location: Oregon, USA
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Where does a general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Aspinator
Raven
Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Posts: 106
Location: AspinatorLand
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 9:36 pm Post subject: Favorite Joke |
|
|
| Why did the little boy keep hitting himself in the head with a 2 X 4? - Because it felt so good when he quit |
|
| Back to top |
|
CanadianRose
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Sep 11, 2009
Posts: 178
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This one is PG
Two nuns were driving one Halloween night along the streets of an old town. Suddenly, a vampire bat attached itself to the windshield. The passenger nun told the driving nun, "knock it off with the windshield wipers." The driving nun tried, but the vampire bat just clung on, hissing at the nuns.
The passenger nun said, "try using the windshield washing fluid and then knock it off." The driving nun tried this and they ended up having a wet, angry, vampire bat hissing at them and shrieking, "I am the devil spawn!!!!!!!"
The passenger nun cried out "It's the devil!! Show him your cross!!"
The driving nun rolled down the window and hollered, "Get the %&*$ off the windshield!!! 
(if you don't get it - "show him your cross" as in use your crucifix and "show him you're cross" as in show him how mad you are).
[edited by sinsboldly, check your PM inbox Canadian Rose] |
|
| Back to top |
|
Willard
Suicide Mohel
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 1533
Location: CSA
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
| sinsboldly wrote: | Where does a general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies! |
An old favorite I picked up watching Shari Lewis and Lambchop w/my daughter.
| CanadianRose wrote: | | Two nuns were driving one Halloween night along the streets of an old town... |
Excellent! Love that one! Classic style!
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out."
- Bill Hicks |
|
| Back to top |
|
DW_a_mom
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 3194
Location: Northern California
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
From my son, age 12:
There are 3 people on a boat. Their names are Nothing, Nobody and Crazy
One day Nothing falls over and Nobody tells Crazy to call the coast guard.
So he calls the coast guard.
"Hi, I'm crazy and I'm calling because Nobody told me to call you because Nothing fell overboard."
_________________
Avatar copyright DW's Studio |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
