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sufi
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Posts: 228
Location: mid-michigan
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 Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:50 am Post subject: |
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Sometimes my 7 year old grandson is a bit too honest.
Aunt Ness gave him a t-shirt. When he wore it one day, she asked, " Did you wear that shirt to make me happy?"
"no", He replied
"Why did you wear that shirt"
In all sincerity he answered, " I wore it because, Mom told me to, to make you happy."
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If you have one option you have an obsession.
If you have two options you have a delema.
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"I'm not too crazy about reality, but it is still the only place to get a decent |
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jaysdad
Emu Egg
Joined: Oct 01, 2009
Age: 36
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:12 am Post subject: Kids say the darndest things |
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My Parents Run Thier own retail business. One day after counting out the days total, my dad turned to me and said "Just imagin what we could have done if you would have put all the money in the register". we both laughed and I went back to working on the front counter.
A little while later my son "jay" came and asked me, why I was stealing from his grandpa.
Needles to say we no longer make jokes like that around Jay. |
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Chr1s
Hummingbird
Joined: Sep 19, 2009
Age: 34
Posts: 21
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:11 am Post subject: |
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my 7 year old son had a 17 year old cousin living with his grandparents (my wife's parents), so he overheard many cuss words and other things.. the f-word being the most prevalent.
We were at my friends house, any my friends mother is my sons godmother.. as we're sitting in the living room conversing, my son looks at her, pipes up in a very casual way, "Where are my f*%@ing jelly beans?" just as plain as anyone else would have said, Has anyone seen my jelly beans? |
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atropa
Emu Egg
Joined: Oct 14, 2009
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 8:46 am Post subject: |
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| I was cuddling with Gage a little before school this morning and telling him how much I love him, etc. I told him he's the only little boy I'll ever have, to which he replied "What if I build a robot me?". Too funny! |
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kuliraga
Emu Egg
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 9:25 pm Post subject: Boys know how to pick their moments |
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When my younger bio son was around 3 we were in the local Price Rite shopping, when he all of a sudden looked around and said - as loud as his little voice could - "Mamma, where are all the Americans?"
Earlier this year (he's 10 now) he informed me that he "doesn't like it when people speak other languages than English, because it isn't fair that I don't understand them." I told him that was a good reason to learn them.
In the eye doctor's office, waiting for our turn, my thirteen year old bio son experienced one of his then frequent spontaneous erections. He proceded to attempt to touch it. I told him no, in a hushed tone. He apparently didn't understand me. I said "just no" and he responded - in that voice that could carry into next week - "What mom, no erections?" Utterly defeated in my attempt to be circumspect, I calmly responded. "No, AC just no touching them in public."
My step middle boy (who has just turned 11) when he was younger asked me, "Is that boy brown cuz he doen't like baths either?"
We call moments like these the "lack of filter" phenomenon. |
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MorbidMiss
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 23, 2009
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:33 am Post subject: |
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| Today is my DH's birthday. My twelve year old Aspie said to him, "I hope you got condoms for your birthday." I told him that was not really appropriate to be concerned about and he said, "I don't want any more siblings." So my H says to him, "Too late, your mom is already pregnant again and due in May!" (I'm actually not) and the twelve year old responds with , "God Bleep it! (he actually said bleep) Just in time for school to let out." |
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DenvrDave
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 18, 2009
Age: 44
Posts: 225
Location: Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
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| Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:38 am Post subject: |
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^^ 
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"Humans are gits, no matter what you believe." -mgran
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MorbidMiss
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 23, 2009
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:50 am Post subject: |
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Just as we are pulling into the parking lot to the store we pass a small traffic circle with a statue of a man on a horse.
Son: *bursts into hysterical laughter*
Me: What on earth is so funny?
Son: That horse has a weiner!
Me: *sigh* ... Why is that so funny?
Son: I don't know! It just is!
Me: Is it funny that you have one?
Son: No!
Me: *boggle* You know both genders are required for horses and many other creatures to produce offspring, it is only natural. Horses are not sharks, they cannot produce with just a female.
Son: Sharks can have babies with no male?
Me: Yes, it is kind of like cloning, only they go through pregnancy.
Son: What would happen if they made a copy of a copy of a copy?
Me: Just like using a photo copy machine to make a copy of a copy of a copy, it would degrade eventually. Only it is more complicated because genetics are involved.
Son: It is complicated to make a copy if you think about it scientifically. Positrons are sprayed and a beam of light has to hit your picture and be reflected back. And then it has to make your copied image...
Me: ... Yes I can see how that is probably a bit more complicated than I had thought.
Son: Fire is Beautiful... I think that is why I like angry women.
Me: *sigh* You think so?
Son: Yes. Maybe someone can do a study about why guys think girls are so cute when they are mad.
Me: Yes, I suppose that would make a good study... *thinking the old man could take part in that study* |
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CarolinaGirl
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 08, 2009
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:55 pm Post subject: embarrassing |
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We went to the pool at a KOA campground. I was probably four and the other kids in the pool were of another race, which I hadn't seen much of before. When I asked about their pretty skin, Grandma just it was "different". While she sat talking to the other children's parents, we kids were taking turns on the slide. I got in line to go up the ladder. I looked up and said, "Hey Grandma, look how pink her feet are!!"  She was mortified, but the girl's parents laughed. Oh, sweet innocence! |
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Audiophile
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 01, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 158
Location: Northern Illinois
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| Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:54 am Post subject: |
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Christmas day about 2.5 years ago(he was 2 at the time), my little brother stands up on his little fire truck and my mom, dad, sister, brother, and me all said "mikey, get down" and he goes "I sit down". we were taping that morning and got it on tape and we couldn't believe our ears. He didn't talk after that until about 1 year later. It was weird but amazing.
I was riding in the work van this morning with my boss and I was talking about what happened at the venue I ran sound for the night before and I was going on about and then I saw some car in front of us and I said "man that car is very disposable." The rest of the ride to the diner was pretty silent. Oops. 
I do this to my sister so much when we're driving places. I annoys her to no end.
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saywhatyamean
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 01, 2009
Posts: 147
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| Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:32 am Post subject: |
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Tonight my 11 year old son finally fixed something on his laptop that he had been working on for days. He came running in to the living room where his father and I were sitting and said "I fixed my laptop, I fixed my laptop" then bent down and kissed me on the cheek and said "thanks for your high intellegence gene's mum". He then looked at his father like he was going to say something to him, then did an exagerated shrug and without saying anything to his father he walked out again.LOL His father said nothing but shook his head and laughed.
That boy sure knows what side his bread is buttered on! LOL |
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Alien_Papa
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 08, 2008
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 12:26 am Post subject: |
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My daughter was about six when she read a Snapple fact:
"An ant can lift 50 times its own weight"
She got a skeptical look on her face and said: "I don't think [aunt] Melissa can do that." |
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