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Miyah
Toucan
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 255
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 Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:34 pm Post subject: Having trouble with dropping bad friends |
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Recently, I had a major falling out with another woman with AS who is an active soldier. She and I had a falling out back in August over a stupid so-called wedding of hers. I know that I should not have gotten mad at her about this but she refused to communicate with me on the real issues and had even made her maid of honor. However, she went behind my back and had a Justice of the Peace Marriage.
Well, we got into a major fight over this issue and it put and end the the relationship. I got mad at her for not communicating with me, and she got mad and accused me of being childish over this.
So, I tried to reconcile two months later, and she is still royally ticked at me. She claims that I am the one who is acting better than everyone else and is tired of it. She even told me not to write her again last month because of that reason.
After that, the shooting happened yesterday at Ft. Hood, and I had tried to call to see if she was OK. She called me back last evening and left a really nasty message.
She said, "If this keeps up, I will have to call you aunt. I don't want to be your friend. And, loose my number, goodbye," then hung up.
At this point I feel numb about her but she was always leading me around or blowing me off in the past. I also feel like every time I would try and contact her, she would fly off the handle at me. "I don't appreciate this, this relationship is over," was a common thing she told me on the phone.
I mean, I have had other friends like her and have gone round-and-round with them, until a major blow-out like this one above.
What could I do to let her go? |
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Aimless
the cat says "meh"
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 2072
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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| I wonder if this is at it's core a self esteem issue. Sometimes people figure if they can get a difficult person to like them, then that means they are worthy. If you have other friends like this it may be a pattern. I've recognized myself doing it and also the caretaker role, which sets you up for being used a lot. |
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Lene
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 833
Location: Manchester
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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I read your original post about your ex-friend. At the time, I saw her point of view, but this recent turn of events is just horrible. The only thing I can think of is that she didn't actually listen to the content of your message, she just flipped when she heard your voice.
I would not try to contact her again. If she ever tries to make up, tell her to forget it. |
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LostAlien
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Posts: 373
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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| I'd say just to stop contacting her. Her reacting like that to an attempt to find out she's ok, it seems to me to be unhealthy to try to make up to her. Also, if this is a usual pattern that friends of yours have, it seems that you need to find out why this happens to you. If it's a self esteem issue, councilling may help. |
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Miyah
Toucan
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 255
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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I am seriously thinking about counseling. I do feel worthless because a lot of times, I meet people with morals but there really isn't a connection there. So, I chose this one because I thought she was nice, outgoing, and even fun.
As for my reconciliation with her, I apologized back and August, and everything seemed cool. She offered to add me to Myspace and be friends again. However, I did not add her because of what was pulled over the summer. I didn't want to get in the way with another cycle like I had before. Two months later, I wrote to her and mentioned that I was ready to reconcile with her on the wedding thing so that we could understand each other. That is when she pulled the 180 crap on me and said not to write to her again.
As for insecurity, she has quite a lot of it as well as low self-esteem. In fact, she was more interested in having a guy on her arms than she was about having a nice set of girlfriends with good moral values. She actually has pushed people away who care about her before due to a guy. I know that it isn't necessarily me either. |
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