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curtis122
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 33
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 Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:35 pm Post subject: Bad At Making Small Talk |
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Hello and I'v just been chatting to my Girl friend I was telling her what I had been doing today what what I had found out about the Vikings. SAhe then told me to "speak normally" so I said "Do you want me to make small talk?" She said "Yeah" . So I proceeded to make small talk I found it uncomfortable and sort of hard , I found that I ran out of things to say quite quickly and the things I did say were uninteresting.
How do you feel about small talk? How do you cope with small talk?
-Curtis |
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gramirez
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 10, 2008
Posts: 1019
Location: Illinois
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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Small talk is utterly useless, pointless, and stupid. I avoid it as much as possible. It's not productive at all.
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Audiophile
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 01, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 159
Location: Northern Illinois
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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I can't do it flat out. About as far as I get is "hi, how are you" then when someone replies "fine, how are you" I just blurt out my day in it's entirety.
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curtis122
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Im the same lol |
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Aimless
infp
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 2082
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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| gramirez wrote: | | Small talk is utterly useless, pointless, and stupid. I avoid it as much as possible. It's not productive at all. |
It has it's purpose for the larger population. It's just a way of keeping the social connection current. My problem is people who only want to small talk and never discuss anything interesting.
btwcurtis122 What about the Vikings? If you were talking about a sports team never mind. 
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busymomof2
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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I have a really hard time with small talk. I wish that I was better at it.
Jennifer |
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Graelwyn
Myrrdyn
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Joined: Dec 21, 2006
Age: 34
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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I find small talk boring, and actually, little annoys me quicker than someone asking how I am.
It seems such a stupid, pointless question as usually the asker is expecting you to say ok and loses interest if you tell them the truth and go into a long conversation on just why you are how you are.
I also get called rude when I dont return the 'favour' and ask how the other person is. It doesn't really interest me, is why I don't usually ask. |
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leejosepho
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Age: 59
Posts: 706
Location: 100 miles east of Chicago
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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My wife really loves "small talk", so I do occasionally make some efforts for her. But as far as I am concerned, everybody else can just do what I do and go talk with themselves about whatever else interests them.
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elderwanda
Lemon Zing
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 1054
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think I've ever been in a friendship where I was expected to make small talk. Isn't that what "friendship" is? You don't have to bother with the small talk? If someone wants to talk "small talk" with me, I always have taken that as, "I feel obligated to talk to you because you happen to be in the same physical area, but I can't wait to get away."
This is probably one of those things I've been getting wrong all my life, though, so don't mind me. |
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curtis122
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:33 am Post subject: |
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@ Elderwanda I know the feeling I sometimes feel like that.
@Leejoepho I do try and give it ago im just not very good at it.
@Graelwyn I share the same point of view.
@Aimless lol no I was talking about the Historicle Vikings! |
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Nym
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 30
Location: Leeds, UK
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 9:50 am Post subject: |
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| Graelwyn wrote: | I find small talk boring, and actually, little annoys me quicker than someone asking how I am.
It seems such a stupid, pointless question as usually the asker is expecting you to say ok and loses interest if you tell them the truth and go into a long conversation on just why you are how you are.
I also get called rude when I dont return the 'favour' and ask how the other person is. It doesn't really interest me, is why I don't usually ask. |
Totally the same here, I can't seem to win either way when somebody says 'how are you?' because if I ignore them they think I'm trying to be rude, but if I reply 'I'm fine thanks how are you?' I can't help saying it in a monotone and again they assume I'm purposly trying to be rude. I wish people would just stick to 'hi' instead of these ridiculous rhetorical questions. |
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AnnePande
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 730
Location: Aarhus, Denmark
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:04 pm Post subject: Re: Bad At Making Small Talk |
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| curtis122 wrote: | Hello and I'v just been chatting to my Girl friend I was telling her what I had been doing today what what I had found out about the Vikings. SAhe then told me to "speak normally" so I said "Do you want me to make small talk?" She said "Yeah" . So I proceeded to make small talk I found it uncomfortable and sort of hard , I found that I ran out of things to say quite quickly and the things I did say were uninteresting.
How do you feel about small talk? How do you cope with small talk?
-Curtis |
Funny... if I met one who told me what he or she had been doing about finding out about the Vikings, I wouldn't consider it "abnormal" or tell them to speak "normally". I would rather find it interesting.  (But then again, I'm both Viking and aspie...  )
In fact, I sometimes wish that people who started a conversation with me, would start telling something about what they had been doing (some of my close friends do this, in fact) instead of asking me a row of questions about if I've found a job, or something about my former studies, and so (every time, as if job and studies were the only important things in a person's life)... and not even take time to hear my answer out, before they ask a new one. That really confuses me and makes me stutter.
Besides, I may answer "I don't know" if I don't know the answer or don't feel for talking a lot about the topic. But it seems like many people don't understand what it means.
Like: Which jobs would you like to seek?
- I don't know.
- What would you like particularly?
- As I said: I don't know!
- But there are some who have something they dream about specifically...
- Still: I don't know!
At that point I may have to make something up, or say a row of possibilities there could be, even though I thought that "I don't know" would do, but apparently not.
I just don't always want to go through the same "mill" of the-same-questions-every-time-that-require-the-same-answers-every-time. It's like you just could have read a theatre manuscript out loud as well.
Does that seem familiar to anyone? |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 35
Posts: 22537
Location: 1965 London with Ruby the Routemaster by my side
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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I'm terrible at small talk. I always end up saying something stupid, or start talking about Swinging London.
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Nym
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 06, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 30
Location: Leeds, UK
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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I once tried to explain to a group of eight people how ridiculous the whole 'how are you?' convention is, suffice to say they didn't take it very well and I don't intent on returning to the subject anytime soon
Last edited by Nym on Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:57 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MathGirl
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Age: 18
Posts: 756
Location: Toronto, ON
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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Hehe, sometimes I go on and on about my day after someone asks me "how are you". Sometimes I don't. It all depends on my mood and my state of being.
I do small talk in the elevator and in public transit often. I'm kind of forced to. Most of the times, it's very predictable though: in the elevator, people usually talk about the weather. On the subway, it doesn't happen very often and if it does happen, unless I can turn the talk into a talk about a topic of interest (in which case it becomes non-small talk), I just let the other person speak since they would have likely started the conversation in the first place.
All in all, small talk is not hard if it follows a familiar scheme, but sometimes I forget recalling the scheme and therefore forget how to make appropriate small talk.
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