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ToadOfSteel
Unlovable
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4907
Location: New Jersey
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 Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 7:38 am Post subject: |
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| hakemon wrote: | Yes, it was so much happyness, I thought my heart was gonna shoot out.
But, there's SO much involved.. Even if they just want me to perform and not how well, when your drunk it's hard to not screw up..
I think the bigger issue I'm having right now is the disapointment. During the activities, I was like "Oh hell yea im being loved!!". Afterwards I realize they weren't loving me for me, they were loving me for just being there to be used, which is like a giant let down.. |
Yeah, that's part of why I don't usually go for such things... there's no emotion behind them. To me, however, it seemed as though you would at least derive some enjoyment from this, which is why I encouraged you to go (as long as you were able to stay safe). But now that you've experienced that, perhaps you've developed an appreciation for a deeper relationship with a woman?
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:26 am Post subject: |
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Yea, a deeper relation has been developed..
However, if one of these parties is offered to me again, I'll likely go for the fun, as long as I remember they mean nothing at all and that i WILL be used.
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ToadOfSteel
Unlovable
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4907
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 9:55 am Post subject: |
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Well when you think about it, you're using them just as much as they are you, correct?
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:01 am Post subject: |
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Normally I'd agree with you, but it feels more that I'm being used. They bossed me around! lol
Anyways, I'm merely just waking up over here, we kinda all fell asleep last night, all that alcohol. I actually just went back home, I needed to get new headlights for my car as one burned out last night on the way there..
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 7167
Location: The fine world of insomnia and coffee
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Really it seems like any activity that isn't anchored in a deeper context is really just tandom co-ed autoerotica, this situation a bit more like group autoerotica. You right though in that its completely hollow, has your hormones oscillating and putting you through mood swings for a good week or two, all that's really a sign that you're all there mentally. I think this is why people joke about bringing party novelty into the mix with these kinds of things, if it's going to be about as fun and rewarding in the long term as getting smashed drunk with em - best to just treat it like what it is. |
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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Well, there's another party tomorrow. Same girls supposedly, or new/different ones in the mix.. She has these parties often.
Thinking back on it actually, I really feel it's the best i can do until I'm ready for a serious relationship.. Because honestly, this is the only time I have in my life to have fun to it's max with them, before I mature enough to really want a serious thing with one... (and it'll likely NOT be one of these party girls..)
I think the biggest reward to me, that i DID like, was getting to sleep with em all in the end. Now THAT was something I liked waking up to..
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PlatedDrake
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 26, 2009
Age: 29
Posts: 465
Location: Piedmont Region, NC, USA
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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Well, just pray this doesnt bite you in the ass later . . . for when you DO get into a meaningful relationship, i guarantee your partner will be a bit perturbed with this bit of your history. Confidentially, not sure Id want to know that my first sexual encounter would be a meaningless, alcohol induced group orgy . . . most males dream yes, but not for those of us that want to be considered a bit more than some testosterone endowed sexaholic. Just an observation, not an attack on character.
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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Honestly, if I got in a serious relationship, I feel it's something that just doesn't need to be said. I'm sure she'll probably have done things too, and I wouldn't want to know.
But right now, I'm young, and really feel the need to live.. And though my first experience with that kinda scene was weird, next time shouldn't be so bad..
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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Well, tonights the second night of the party..
What is the best way to keep my mind OFF trying to "fall for." anyone?
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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And now today, I'm feeling sick..
Ok, that was fun while it lasted, but when I get sick from the activities, I'm done...
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 7167
Location: The fine world of insomnia and coffee
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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| You did better than I would have. I think I would have been huddled at the bottom of my shower for half a day after the first time. |
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hakemon
Toucan
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 251
Location: Oviedo, Florida
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| Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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Well, my being sick had nothing to do with the party. 
I just got an ear infection from blasting headphones too loud..
Hmmhmm.. Still gonna take a break.. I don't want to do it TOO often, it could become an addiction..
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