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MissConstrue
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Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 17525
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 Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 10:45 am Post subject: Friend of family was killed in car accident. |
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We were real close to her and I just found out she was killed by a drunk driver. This wan't the driver's first time in having accident only this time it was fatal. I'm very angry and I almost want to kill this girl who did it. I'm not saying I would but if I see her face in court, I don't know what I'll do.
I'm also getting sick and tired of my dad telling me to pray. I don't believe in god and for some reason he can't get it in his thick skull and think "it's the answere". I wish he'd quit and leave me alone!
I apologize if this is coming off on a whim but I just found out this morning and I'm very pissed off. I had known this woman since I was a kid and she was like another aunt to me. I f***ing hate these ppl who speed on wheels and think about no one but themselves.
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
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HH
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 29, 2009
Posts: 330
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| I am so sorry this has happened. And I completely understand your anger at the drunk driver and you frustration at being told to pray. |
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MissConstrue
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:10 am Post subject: |
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Thanks HH, I apologize, now that I look at my post I'm not making much sense. I'm upset about her death of course but I'm very upset with how this wasn't the drunk driver's first time. I can't believe how stupid people are and especially this gal who's had a history of drinking and driving.
I'm trying not to let it get to me but I at the same time I'm so angry. I use to think the penalty for drinking and driving was harsh but now I don't think it's harsh enough!
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
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HH
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 29, 2009
Posts: 330
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:23 am Post subject: |
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I don't think the punishment for drunk drivers is harsh enough either.
I'm not an expert, so take this with a grain of salt, but I think this is a situation where you shouldn't try to tell yourself to feel less anger or not let it get to you. This is a just cause for righteous anger if ever there was one. How you express or process the anger may need modulation, but I don't think trying not to let it get to you is a good goal in this situation.
Do you have any chances to work it off? Long hikes where you can mutter to yourself all you want about how you feel about this? Hollering along to angry music on the stereo? Anything else like that? |
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MissConstrue
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:38 am Post subject: |
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I don't know.
Normally I'd drink in this kind of situation but for some reason or another I can't handle alcohol and ironically I guess it would make me a hypocrite as well.
But those are good ideas I might try.
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
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HH
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 29, 2009
Posts: 330
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:47 am Post subject: |
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I don't know if this is an option, but one I used to use was long drives in the country with the windows down, singing along to the stereo at the top of my lungs.
There's something about a lot of enthusiastic singing that's very therapeutic -- it's why karaoke is such a huge deal in Japan. It releases all kinds of emotions. Maybe it's all the deep breathing required. |
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southwestforests
Phoenix
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Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 1138
Location: A little ways south of the river
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, I'd encourage you to not be embarrassed about your opening post - you feel what you feel; and your thoughts happen in the order they happen.
Much sorrow for the death of a good friend and confidant  - they are difficult to find.
Is there any hope in saying to your Dad something like, hey Dad, I do understand and appreciate that the way for you is to pray: although I do things differently and have to process my loss in a different way.
I'll have to agree on the penalties  acting that way is selfishness beyond all reason.
{for situations emotionally intense I save up empty glass jars and in this type of thing I go smash several while screaming something like "You Go***mn Bas***rd How dare you  What the f*** do you think you were doing  You killed MY friend you worthless excuse of a human being }
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Last edited by southwestforests on Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:23 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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HH
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 29, 2009
Posts: 330
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:22 pm Post subject: |
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| MissConstrue, I love your new userpic -- it's adorable. Love the nickname too, btw. |
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Sala
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 14, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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MissConstrue,
I am so sorry that you lost a friend this way. I lost my best friend in a terrible car accident in 2007. I don't have any advice on how to cope with you feelings. 2 days before my friend died, my daughters father commited suicide. I had never had anyone super close to me die before and I was at a complete loss as to how to deal with it all. I have come to realize that I supressed it all. Please dont bury your feelings. I don't know how to not do it, and now I'm falling apart and I've been told by a couple of people that I need to deal with past issues. I just don't know how.
It makes me angry to hear that the ones we love have gone to a better place. I just want to yell, "Yeah, how do you know huh? You been there yourself?" But I don't because I cannot handle confrontation.
All I can say is I am very sorry for your loss. I wish I could help...
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Sala |
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FaithHopeCheese
Phoenix
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Joined: Oct 18, 2009
Posts: 534
Location: I think I'm lost
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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I am sorry for your loss. (Words are empty right now, I'm sure  )
My brother died in a car accident, and it was earth shattering. Once, I was screaming at God, telling him that I hated him, and I felt a sensation that I can only describe as the love of God, come over me. I just knew that he was hurting WITH me. Also, I would walk in the mornings, in the dark, and I could just FEEL a presence following me. I know that it wasn't my emotions making this up because it all felt very foreign to me and happened, rather than, was created.
I'm not telling you this just so I can talk about myself. I'm just trying to encourage you to talk to God. Either way, you'll never get over this loss.....
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zen_mistress
im not sure what to write here.
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 32
Posts: 2397
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 3:15 pm Post subject: |
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Im sorry ((((((((MissConstrue)))))))))) you seem to have had far more than your fair share of bereavements already. Im not sure what to say, but you could perhaps remember the fact that your friend would have known how fond you were of her. Keep her in your heart whether you believe in God or not. Im sorry I am not sure what words would be comforting or would help.
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Stinkypuppy
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Age: 31
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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*hugs MissConstrue*
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david_42
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
Posts: 216
Location: PNW, USA
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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| You have my sympathy on your loss and your god-soaked father. Repeat DUI offenders are all the more infuriating because we've had the technology to prevent them from driving drunk for decades. |
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LostAlien
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Joined: Feb 04, 2009
Posts: 584
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| Posted: Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm sorry for your loss MissConstrue. I wish I knew something that would make you feel better. I agree with other posters on trying to not supress your emotions. What sometimes helps me when I get angry (and not tired+angry) is to get someone to hold a pillow out and box the pillow until I get tired and disloge some of the anger, screaming helps me too (just wordless screaming not arguments), I'm saying about this in the hope this helps a bit. |
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MissConstrue
@}-->-,----
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 17525
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:21 am Post subject: |
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HH, thankyou for your wonderful compliment. 
And thankyou guys, you're in my thoughts as well.
They told us the gal responsible was considerably upset and sorry. Although I'm still angry I also feel like maybe she's already paying a huge price already. I guess I can see myself being in her case as I use to be a heavy drinker myself who got into a lot of trouble.
Again thankyou guys.
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God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
__John Lennon
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