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therange
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 04, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 775
Location: Not at Spike's house.
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 Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:29 am Post subject: For those of you who've never had a girlfriend... |
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...you aren't missing out on much. I can't speak for sex, I didn't have it, but a few months combinated dating/so-called "friends" I wish she never came into my life. It taught me one of life's cold lessons...that to many, dating is just something to pass the time, and when they've had their fun with you and get bored, they'll move on and hope you never contact them again.
As Aspies, most of us generally want to be appreciated and liked, not just temporarily liked and then discarded once it's found out everything isn't fun and games.
I also left feeling a deep attachment and attraction to her, and while at the beginning, she felt some chemistry, it's obvious I never meant anything to her other than being a cute guy that seemed cool.
They say "don't hate the player, hate the game." I hate both. And I do admit that maybe finding the right player to play the game might make things better, at what cost? Finding a lot of the wrong players in the meantime and going through heartbreak and indifference on their part?
Anyway, to those of you guys who spend hours fantasizing about women and girlfriends, you really aren't missing out unless you meet a woman who cares as much or more than you care about her, and even then, I hear of stalker situations where the woman follows the guy around and gets jealous when any remotely attractive woman looks at him. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 25
Posts: 7525
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:58 am Post subject: Re: For those of you who've never had a girlfriend... |
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Yeah getting your heart broken sucks. Sadly i've never had a relationship with anyone I was really into either. Or they broke my heart.
| therange wrote: | .
I hear of stalker situations where the woman follows the guy around and gets jealous when any remotely attractive woman looks at him. |
wtf?
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The www will take you to paradise. |
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CerebralDreamer
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 420
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:42 am Post subject: |
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Between 80 and 90% of all relationships fail, and that's including a healthy NT percentage in the results.
Not all relationships are bad, and for god sakes not all women are bad. It's just a matter of trial and error, getting your heart broken a few times, then finally figuring out what the hell you need to do in order to develop a stable relationship.
In this area, that's something we have in common with NT men. It's just a matter of finding the right person, and hoping it works out. Honestly, I'm quite aware of my incompatibility with 99.5% of women out there today. I make a point of playing the odds, realizing that it just means filtering through a few more women than the typical man has to. |
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HH
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 29, 2009
Posts: 330
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:00 am Post subject: |
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therange, part of romantic relationships is that either person is allowed to leave at any time for any reason. Just about everyone feels some resistance to accepting that when they first think about it, but learning to be at peace with it is part of what's needed to be ready for mature relationships.
After all, what's the alternative? |
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Homer_Bob
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 06, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 850
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:22 am Post subject: |
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| Yeah, I can see the benefits of never having one. I have never had one but I know there would be a bunch of crap I would have to put up with if I did. There are positives and negatives in everything. The fact that I have never experienced heart break is a great benefit to me. |
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kingtut3
Toucan
Joined: Aug 19, 2009
Posts: 279
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:05 pm Post subject: Re: For those of you who've never had a girlfriend... |
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| therange wrote: | ...you aren't missing out on much. I can't speak for sex, I didn't have it, but a few months combinated dating/so-called "friends" I wish she never came into my life. It taught me one of life's cold lessons...that to many, dating is just something to pass the time, and when they've had their fun with you and get bored, they'll move on and hope you never contact them again.
As Aspies, most of us generally want to be appreciated and liked, not just temporarily liked and then discarded once it's found out everything isn't fun and games.
I also left feeling a deep attachment and attraction to her, and while at the beginning, she felt some chemistry, it's obvious I never meant anything to her other than being a cute guy that seemed cool.
They say "don't hate the player, hate the game." I hate both. And I do admit that maybe finding the right player to play the game might make things better, at what cost? Finding a lot of the wrong players in the meantime and going through heartbreak and indifference on their part?
Anyway, to those of you guys who spend hours fantasizing about women and girlfriends, you really aren't missing out unless you meet a woman who cares as much or more than you care about her, and even then, I hear of stalker situations where the woman follows the guy around and gets jealous when any remotely attractive woman looks at him. |
That's why I start out slow and get talk to the girl about our relationship. I want to know her and her motives for being in the relationship. |
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jackdumpster
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: Jul 25, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 69
Location: massachusetts
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I wouldn't mind if a girl was over clingy with me. I realize the setbacks that come with being with someone though. |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 25
Posts: 7525
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Homer_Bob wrote: | | The fact that I have never experienced heart break is a great benefit to me. |
It's not really.
You don't know what you're in for.
Ignorance is bliss I guess.
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