looking for online girlfriend

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technofan
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06 Dec 2009, 8:59 am

i am looking to have an online relationship with a girl between the ages of 14-17. my name is nic i am 15 going to be 16 in 4 months i am a aspie and i dont think i stand a chance with any one in my school because there all popular and im not.
if someone wants to help that would be great :D thanks



Rain_Bird
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06 Dec 2009, 10:30 am

Online relationships never work out. Trust me on this. And these kinds of posts just make you look desperate, which is a turn off to girls.

And how do we know you're actually even a teenager. Maybe you're really a pedophile trying to lure teenage girls into giving you personal information.



Vexcalibur
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06 Dec 2009, 10:34 am

technofan wrote:
i am looking to have an online relationship with a girl between the ages of 14-17. my name is nic i am 15 going to be 16 in 4 months i am a aspie and i dont think i stand a chance with any one in my school because there all popular and im not.
if someone wants to help that would be great :D thanks
I am sure popularity in your school is a bell distribution... There should be girls that are not so popular...


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makuranososhi
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06 Dec 2009, 11:21 am

Rain_Bird wrote:
Online relationships never work out. Trust me on this. And these kinds of posts just make you look desperate, which is a turn off to girls.

And how do we know you're actually even a teenager. Maybe you're really a pedophile trying to lure teenage girls into giving you personal information.


And I have to disagree. An online relationship is not the same as one in real life; that doesn't mean it matters less, or never works out. My wife and I, after we had met a number of times in person, kept in touch and continued to fall for each other online. Just make sure you don't have expectations that are unreasonable. As for being desperate... quite possibly. Finding a girlfriend isn't a position you interview for; you find the right person to spend your time with. Try meeting people (whether online or IRL) first before seeking to cross that bridge into a relationship.


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06 Dec 2009, 11:35 am

technofan wrote:
i am looking to have an online relationship with a girl between the ages of 14-17. my name is nic i am 15 going to be 16 in 4 months i am a aspie and i dont think i stand a chance with any one in my school because there all popular and im not.
if someone wants to help that would be great :D thanks


http://www.aspieaffection.com/ is WrongPlanet.net's Aspie Affection site, a meeting site for people looking for . . . Aspie Affection!

And it is true that long distance relationships are difficult, however my brother has been married to his long time internet found sweetheart for 14 years now. :sunny:

Merle


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protest_the_hero
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06 Dec 2009, 3:28 pm

Vexcalibur wrote:
I am sure popularity in your school is a bell distribution... There should be girls that are not so popular...
In that case, my popularity quotient is in the left tale of the Bell Curve. Those in the gifted range are all wear their pants down to their knees and think it's cool to act like monkeys.



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06 Dec 2009, 3:59 pm

makuranososhi wrote:
And I have to disagree. An online relationship is not the same as one in real life; that doesn't mean it matters less, or never works out. My wife and I, after we had met a number of times in person, kept in touch and continued to fall for each other online. Just make sure you don't have expectations that are unreasonable. As for being desperate... quite possibly. Finding a girlfriend isn't a position you interview for; you find the right person to spend your time with. Try meeting people (whether online or IRL) first before seeking to cross that bridge into a relationship.



Bolded the big thing that makes all the difference.


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Vyn
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06 Dec 2009, 4:07 pm

makuranososhi wrote:
Rain_Bird wrote:
Online relationships never work out. Trust me on this. And these kinds of posts just make you look desperate, which is a turn off to girls.

And how do we know you're actually even a teenager. Maybe you're really a pedophile trying to lure teenage girls into giving you personal information.


And I have to disagree. An online relationship is not the same as one in real life; that doesn't mean it matters less, or never works out. My wife and I, after we had met a number of times in person, kept in touch and continued to fall for each other online. Just make sure you don't have expectations that are unreasonable. As for being desperate... quite possibly. Finding a girlfriend isn't a position you interview for; you find the right person to spend your time with. Try meeting people (whether online or IRL) first before seeking to cross that bridge into a relationship.


M.


Are you sure I can't set up something here to interview potential girlfriends? I mean, imagine all the questions you can get out of the way. "What do you feel you'd bring to this relationship?" "What are you goals with this relationship?" "What are your principles having to do with all things sexual?" "Do you like kids?" and my personal favorite: "Do you game?" /sarcasm






Could certainly be an entertaining thread though M.


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conan
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06 Dec 2009, 5:33 pm

i have to admit acting like a monkey is really quite fun. not so sure about the trousers though. that is just creating a disability for themselves.



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08 Dec 2009, 5:52 am

sinsboldly wrote:
http://www.aspieaffection.com/ is WrongPlanet.net's Aspie Affection site, a meeting site for people looking for . . . Aspie Affection!

And it is true that long distance relationships are difficult, however my brother has been married to his long time internet found sweetheart for 14 years now. :sunny:

Merle


I think Aspie Affection is for 16 and above only. Four months to go!


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Last edited by visnofskygirl on 09 Dec 2009, 10:00 am, edited 2 times in total.

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08 Dec 2009, 8:12 am

The concept of a bell distribution is interesting and I couldn't have put it better myself. The problem with online relationships is that you are going to get partners who are at the extreme end of the distribution in unpopularity. Unpopularity for whatever reason. That's what you're going to get, I'm afraid.



Vyn
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08 Dec 2009, 11:19 am

Keeno wrote:
The concept of a bell distribution is interesting and I couldn't have put it better myself. The problem with online relationships is that you are going to get partners who are at the extreme end of the distribution in unpopularity. Unpopularity for whatever reason. That's what you're going to get, I'm afraid.


Logically yep. However, as social networking grows that's becoming less true. As some dating sites are expanding into a format almost similar to Facebook, and it's more and yet more common to see younger people on those sites. Yes, though over 30 are far less likely to do that simply to do it, those under are very possibly liable to join one just to be social, or looking for casual friends/hookups.


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08 Dec 2009, 5:52 pm

I first tried looking for a girlfriend online, as opposed to an online girlfriend (the word order makes a difference here), back when I a junior and senior in high school. I was unpopular with the vast majority of people, got bullied mercilessly, and no girl would touch me with a ten-foot pole. (I did, however, have a few friends.) Obviously, the drive to find a romantic partner was still there. But looking for one within school was out of the question. So I turned to the internet to solve that problem, expecting good results. But I ran into roadblocks that I didn't expect.
(1) Apparently, finding a girlfriend on the internet required quite a bit of social skills, just like finding one in school. It was nothing like telling a girl what a good guy I am and having her start liking me there and then. A smooth-talker could easily sweep her off her feet with a simple turn of a perfect phrase.
(2) The whole online dating thing was quite new at that point, and girls were very cautious about meeting a guy off the internet. It took months of chatting before a girl even entertained that thought. And during those months, I always ended up saying something stupid that made the girl cut off all contact with me.
(3) Stigma! Unlike now, dating sites were so stigmatized, that no one even dared to admit that they had a profile on there (I didn't either). I couldn't ask anyone I knew for advice on this subject, even people who actually respected me. Admitting to someone that you met someone on the internet was social suicide, as opposed to a nonchalant "whatever" people say now.
(4) Not having a car to actually go through with the meeting. It was very ironic that I could physically meet someone who lived next to a train station on the other side of town, but not someone who lived just five miles away where I had to drive. As a result, I had to "screen" each girl, making sure she lives in a place I can get to by public transit.

All this changed after I started college, and even more so after college. Online dating was no longer new and became socially acceptable in most circles. People were also willing to meet more quickly, after a few weeks as opposed to a few months. I, in turn, developed more social skills, which allowed me to do online dating more efficiently. I still look for dates online to this day, and publicly admit it when people ask me. And no one looks at me funny in response.



therange
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08 Dec 2009, 6:57 pm

Like the last poster said, big difference between looking for a girlfriend online or looking for an online girlfriend. Your online girlfriend is most likely a fat pedophile named Spike.

However, take advantage of dating sites and social outlets like Facebook. A big problem for me still is living in a very un-social area. The people with social lives are just hanging out with the same people they were hanging out with 10 years earlier in high school. It isn't a place to meet new people. So I started going on Facebook and plentyoffish, and if it weren't for those sites, I wouldn't even know what a pair of breasts feels like.



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08 Dec 2009, 9:08 pm

The minimum age for Aspie Affection is 16.


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technofan
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12 Dec 2009, 12:19 pm

Thanks for the info I am glad people responded! I am not sure If I stand a chance yet but since I posted this topic I found a girl in school who is unpopular but smart, understanding about aspergers and she might be single. I am just scared to ask her out because I have had way to many rejectins from other girls.

Do you think I should take a chance and ask her out?