16 Jan 2010, 2:53 pm
Hello, I'm a 16-year old girl from Germany. I think I probably have Aspergers, but I never was diagnosed and I'm not planning to get a diagnosis because my problems aren't that severe and I'm afraid that an official diagnosis would be a disadvantage in business life (sorry for my bad english, it's not my native language 
) However, I was diagnosed as gifted (I hope that's the correct english term for a person with IQ higher than 130) some time ago.
I think I have AS because first of all my social skills are quite bad. I almost never look people in the eyes, because it's a disturbing feeling and I always forget what I wanted to say when I do it. The strange thing is if I like a person a lot, then I will stare at him/her intensely, but only if they don't look at me. Also I often point out my opinion in a very direct way, so people sometimes tell me I was rude. I have problems to keep a conversation going, I often have long breaks in my conversations in which I think about what I could say and what I better shouldn't say. If I'm not interested in a certain topic in covnersation I either say nothing or tell the other person something of another topic I'm interested in. I can't read peoples faces to find out what they feel. Well, if they're smiling, than they are possibly happy and when they're crying they are sad, that's quite easy to find out. But I not always find out when someone is making fun of me or things like that. I always have problems to distinguish if someone is nice to me only because of politness or if he wants to become a friend. Because of that I often tell myself to not trust people so fast, but I often tell things I want only friends to know to people who are just friendly because of politeness. I also give long monologues about my special interests, that are gliding, physics (general relativity 
) and also submarines. When I'm doing this I often do not recognise if my listeners are absolutely not interested, so people sometimes tell me if I dont stop to talk about those topics they will totally freak about because I'm getting on their nerves so much.
However, even with this bad social skills I have some friends, not many, but enough for me.
I also have some strange routines and I absolutely don't like it if I'm unable to do those. However, someone who doesn't know me that good wouldn't see I have those.
Being touched is something I really hate. I sometimes get really aggressive when someone touches me, especially if they do it from behind and I'm not prepared for it. Also I hate locations which are loud and crowded, I always want to run away and hide somewhere when I'm in such a place.
Some people tell me I'm egoistic because I often don't see the sense in other peoples' opinion. But I don't want to be seen as egoistic and inpolite, I sometimes just don't understand why anyone would have such a strange opinion.
As a child my motor development (hope it's the correct term) was delayed and I was in therapy because of that for a short while because I was walking strange and had some problems with the motor skills of my hands.
I am very stubborn, it's quite impossible to get me away from my opinion, even if at some point I realize im wrong.
I also hate it when people accuse me of doing things I didn't or not doing thing I did. If people don't believe me in such situations it get very angry and sometimes bang my had against the wall because I want to hit the other person but don't want it because I know it's wrong.
I'm often deep in my thoughts and don't notice if someone's talking to me.
I also don't express my feelings in my face, I sometimes kind of forget to smile when I'm happy, that leads people to asking me why I would be sad, so I tell them I'm happy actually and they want to know why I wouldn't smile but I just forgot to do it. It's kind of annoying if every day someone's asking if you're alright or why you are so sad when you're just perfectly happy.
But there are also things that let me doubt I have AS:
-I'm quite good at doing many things at a time (if I wouldn't be good I wouldn't have been able to do my glider pilots licence so fast)
-I also play soccer and enjoy it, even if I hate being told what to do by other team members
-I only stick to most of my routines if I'm at home, when I'm away I replace some of them by similar routines but leave a part comletely out
-Most people think I'm just very shy but they don't know a lot about AS
-I never was speaking strange as listed in the Gillberg & Gillberg diagnostic criteria
But even with all these things I don't want to get diagnosed because I'm really good at school, I will be probably be good also in university and I'm happy the way I am. I really want the gliding season to begin because I love gliding so much I would die if I would be unable to do it anymore. The feeling when you fly over the snow-topped mountains in the Alps and it's silent because you're alone in the cockpit can't be compared with anything else.
I chose my username "Cumulus" because the cumulus clouds indicate where there is a thermal you can use to gain height. So it's a thing any glider pilot likes to see.
Finally I want to excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes I made because I'm german so in German I can write really nice and complicated sentences, but that's difficult in English.
And thank you for reading this longe senseless post
Cumulus
edit: by the way, why isn't my avatar displayed?
richie
Supporting Member
Joined: 9 Jan 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,142
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania
16 Jan 2010, 5:32 pm
To WrongPlanet!! !
Alex recently moved WP onto a new server and there may be a few bugs that need to be worked out.....
As for other things and issues about self diagnosis.....
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#617364
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#452181
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#452397
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#452511
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#496788
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#512898
Things that fit:
-Unusual interests, both in intensity and type
-Ability to organize and remember a great deal of information
-Tendency to be clumsy and do "dumb" stuff, despite being intelligent
-Mild prosopagnosia ("face blindness")-not bad, but enough to be embarrassing
-Uncomfortable in social situations and dislike of crowds and enclosed spaces
Things that don't fit:
-No monotone voice
-I don't think literally. I understand idioms. I couldn't have received a Master's in English without that knowledge. I also know the historical basis of common expressions. All idioms did have a literal, historical basis, so there is nothing wrong with this.
-No serious deficit in self-help skills (except for cooking and driving)
First of all, I don't have a masters degree in English, or deficiencies in cooking. My only deficiency in driving is that I end up giving myself a wide berth. Other than that, you just described ME!
MY definition of monotone might be the same as yours, and apparently is NOT the same as many doctors. THEIR definition is a lack of EMOTIONAL tone. I used to have THAT! I STILL sometimes don't show it.
I ALSO used to think more literally. To a degree, I still do.
As for self help skills..... Aren't AS people supposed to LACK any clinically significant disabilities there?
Steve
Asperger's Syndrome isn't the only form of "High Functioning" Autism.
There is Pervasive Developmental Disorder: Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
My speech was delayed and I have intense, almost obsessive interests.
I have excellent low speed dexterity(working with small parts, small precision tools)
Poor high speed dexterity (Typing, playing musical instruments, video games)
Excellent long term memory for facts.
Poor short term memory for names, dates, faces, and tasks.
Some self help skills I learned without difficulty(Like driving, finding employment)
I don't speak in a monotone voice, and I don't have much trouble with idiom.
Some times I do become aphasic, where I cannot connect a 'word' to 'object'.
Am I self diagnosed? Yes. AS and HFA are the only things I know that fit the
descriptions given above. There are many others who have reached the same
conclusions about themselves for the same reasons.
, didn't think of myself as shy but others did so things just didn't add up Now luckily they do, for me at least. In the workplace people are also a bit mystified, still saying I'm not a good communicator but at least I'm an effective communicator (so I still don't see what the problem is ) But anyway, the struggle to be accepted continues, it just doesn't drain me so much anymore.I was described as "ret*d", "Brain damaged", or just "different" by many people when I was growing up.
I was always acting silly or "shutting down", I had (and still have) bad motor coordination, stereotypical
motor habits, emotional and mental "meltdowns", and many sensory issues and other co-morbidities,
(ie: tactile hypersensitivity, migraines and bowel problems). Yet I learned to read before the other
students. I excelled in taking math and science exams, but slow in everything else. I was constantly
bullied by classmates. I survived, I graduated high school, learned a trade, got a job, but I was always
the Outsider looking in. I first learned about Asperger Syndrome, and "Higher Functioning" Autism
through various science journals, through WikiPedia I found out about WrongPlanet.
After forty something years I found a home.
By the way Foreignwoman, acceptance among the "normals" and "Neuro-Typicals" is overrated.
"WrongPlanet" is the "Right Address". Welcome!
Yes I am self diagnosed. My first "official" diagnosis was when I was three or four years old.
My foster parents thought I was mentally ret*d. I was either mute or hardly spoke at all,
and it took them almost four years to toilet train me. The doctors thought I was brain damaged
because of poor motor coordination and I was slow in learning new things. I always wanted
(and still do) to be off by myself. Later I went through two other foster homes. Social Services
were trying to have me placed in Willowbrook State School on Staten Island, NY. This was in the
1960s. That institution was eventually shut down because of the terrible abuses going on in there.
For more info on Willowbrook go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School. Fortunately
I was never sent there. My diagnosis was "upgraded" to "Minimal Brain Damage" then later my
I.Q. tested to be 120 or greater depending on the test given or the test conditions. My guardians
kept sending me to one Freudian von Shrinkendork after another trying to find why I "tick but don't
tock, or tock but don't tick". I kept forgetting what I was told to do, had a hard time understanding
people, I did very poorly in school, but I did manage to graduate high school on time. Not many
foster kids got their H.S. diplomas back in the 1970s. And yes I was bullied, and picked on a lot.
I survived. I learned electronics and worked in that field for more than 20 years.
Today I am not working in electronics, I work on a loading dock at a factory that makes windows
for schools, and residential complexes, and other institutional buildings.
As for my condition; I can't stand loud percussive noises, being touched, and sudden or abrupt
changes in my routine. I seem to be here, but my mind or parts thereof are in a different universe.
My left brain could be thinking about the Quadratic Prime Series, at the same time my right brain is thinking about Pentominoes.
Autism is called a spectrum condition because we have different "mental colors, notes, or wavelengths."
I call myself an Autie, I may have some, but not all, characteristics in common with Aspies.
16 Jan 2010, 5:45 pm
Hello Cumulus, welcome, from your neighbour country 
I got officially diagnosed with Asperger's and I don't see it as a disadvantage to have an official diagnosis.
Anyway, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!
16 Jan 2010, 7:55 pm
Welcome to WrongPlanet.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,100
Location: Portland, Oregon
17 Jan 2010, 7:35 pm
17 Jan 2010, 10:49 pm
18 Jan 2010, 12:01 am
Welcome to WrongPlanet. My name is Dawn and I have Asperger's Syndrome. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 12. I have a really hard time socializing wtih people and making friends. When I was in school, kids teased me and made fun of me a lot because I was so different than everyone and I didn't like being teased and made fun of. 
I have a certain way of doing things. I always have to do things in a certain order. I'm not good at understanding people's facial expressions. I have a really hard time understanding weather someone is joking or if they are serious. I have some obsessions. I can be stubborn too. I hope to get to know you better. Dawn
18 Jan 2010, 12:06 am
18 Jan 2010, 12:10 am
Welcome to WrongPlanet!
This wonderful forum looks like a big, bewildering place to be. Nevertheless, have a feel of this place. Hopefully you will decide that this is the place for you, and that you'll share more about your life's experiences here.
And do not worry, you will find friends here. Enjoy your stay here!
18 Jan 2010, 9:42 am
18 Jan 2010, 10:18 am
yay Welcome here Lisa!
18 Jan 2010, 3:51 pm
Well, now I'm kind of shocked... Where do you know my name from?
Anyway,
@all:
Thank you for the nice welcome!
I just realized how hard it is to write a normal text in English when people speaking English all the time will read it. If it's just my English teacher, I don't care if I make a lot of mistakes (well I do care actually, but not that much). But as people often understand me wrong, I am somehow extremely careful and insecure in choosing my words when writing in English. It actually took me ages to write the first post and I don't know why. Actually I'm thinking in English very often... Strange
@Scientist:
Hmm, I think it might be a disadvantage because I'm not sure if AS makes you unable to get a medical, which you need for all pilots licences. I have one, of course, but you have to renew it regularly. So I'm afraid of not getting that medical and not being allowed to fly anymore. Maybe it's just a causeless fear, but as being unable to fly gliders is the worst thing I can think of for me, I'm rather careful with it.
21 Apr 2010, 7:21 am
21 Apr 2010, 8:02 am
AspieForty
Supporting Member
Joined: 4 Apr 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 568
Location: North Carolina, USA
21 Apr 2010, 10:07 am
Welcome 
21 Apr 2010, 10:10 am
Welcome, Cumulus
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