Taupey
Aspergian By The Sea
Joined: Feb 25, 2010
Age: 51
Posts: 7168
Location: Somewhere between juvenile and senile.
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 Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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I never had an expensive wedding because I always thought it was a huge waste of money that could be better spent buying a home or applied to some other sort of practical use. Both of my marriages were civil instead of religious.
My first marriage happened because I thought that's what I was suppose to do, get married, have children, buy a home... I have two beautiful children from that marriage but it ended badly because we weren't compatible.
My second marriage happened because I loved him. But he passed away when he was 42 and I was 35 years old.
Its been interesting reading the different comments and learning how other people feel about their relationships and marriages. Its made me actually think about marriage more than I have in years. After my second husband died, I have always said that I would never marry again. Now I am not so sure that I won't ever get married again. Reading your comments have made it an appealing possibility for me once more.
This is a wonderful post. Thanks for posting this topic LeagueGirl.  |
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CaroleTucson
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2009
Age: 48
Posts: 731
Location: Tucson, AZ
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| Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| Friskeygirl wrote: | I really don't need to have a piece of paper to shore up my self esteem or to complete me as a woman, I am my own person, your in no place to make judgments on my relationship. I just don't have that needy Barbie attitude that I need to be paper to shore up my bond with my mate.  |
But of course you're in a position to judge the millions of people who feel perfectly fine about making the formal committment of marriage. Who are you trying to convince, anyway? |
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Stone_Man
Toucan
Joined: Aug 09, 2009
Age: 64
Posts: 265
Location: retired wanderer in the Southwest deserts
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| Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 11:12 am Post subject: |
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| Getting married or not is a perfectly free choice, so I don't believe there's much point in either extolling its virtues or kicking it in the teeth. I do think that "why get married?" is one of those things where if you have to ask the question, you wouldn't understand the answer. |
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RightGalaxy
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 22, 2008
Posts: 1483
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| Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| Stone_Man wrote: | | Getting married or not is a perfectly free choice, so I don't believe there's much point in either extolling its virtues or kicking it in the teeth. I do think that "why get married?" is one of those things where if you have to ask the question, you wouldn't understand the answer. |
Do you realize that I search this website looking for your replies to just about anything.
I'm so impressed by your replies - if we were to go back to the middle ages, you'd be the King's counselor... the one who was actually ruling the kingdom without anybody knowing it. |
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Vexcalibur
Proud to be smug as heck
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Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5378
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| Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:33 am Post subject: Re: Why did you marry? |
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When I read the thread I thought it was about "why did you get a permanent companion of the opposite sex?" and was preparing a large things of why I would think that's convenient... but then I read your post and yes, marriage itself would be worthless without the tax breaks, in fact, this is a case in which the state and church separation is not as good as the other things, the state promotes this religious tradition using tax breaks, it is kind of lame in my opinion. The only other reason to do it would be being brain washed into thinking that a marriage needs to happen
| League_Girl wrote: | | When my husband wanted to marry me I told him I wasn't interested in getting married. He asked me why and I said it was a waste of money and he said we get tax breaks if we do and I said "Okay, let's get married then. |
Best romantic story ever.
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iamiubu
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Posts: 32
Location: MississippiDelta
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| Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 12:33 am Post subject: |
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| To get an apartment in the 'married students only' complex in college. It was vastly quieter and more laid back than the dorms and other off campus housing. Also had a large plot of ground set aside for gardening. |
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Whangdoodle
Butterfly
Joined: May 04, 2010
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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"I didn't see the point in getting married if you can just stay together for life..."
I agree completely. Since my husband is European and I'm American, we couldn't "just stay together" another way, so we got married. Doesn't really make much difference otherwise, and I wouldn't want to be trapped in a relationship that needed a piece of paper to shore ti up.
As for why I wanted to live with him - he's most likely an Aspie too, and the only person who really "gets" me. Although I prefer isolation to the company of NTs most of the time, I also get lonely and crave companionship - it just is a rare person who is able to provide it. On the practical side, it is just easier for both of us to cope with life (and all the garbage the harsh NT world throws at us) when we can share the burden. We had a long distance relationship first, for years, and I was kind of worried about living together, and sometimes still miss my solitude a bit, but for the most part it has been a positive thing. |
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