I suggest pilgrimage before suicide

Luntan · Butterfly Joined: Jul 05, 2006 Posts: 10

Hi everyone! I once presented myself on this forum but that's about it. I haven't really felt the urge to post but a few months ago I had a slight brush of the old blue and came up with a thing I thought I'd share. PS. This is rather long but I think you'll find it interesting.

I was a bit depressed and I may get a suicidal thought once in a while, but last time I did I came up with a very good thought.

There's actually a bulletproof test for finding out if you are ready to die or not.

Say you would be feeling very much suicidal(nothing I personally know about for sure), there's a thing you can do: Pack a bag with some crucial necessities and hit the road.

Packing the bag is the first test. What can you manage to leave behind? I also mean things like the house, the rent, the relatives, school, job etc. etc.

Ride the bus out of town or hitch a ride. When you are far away in unknown territories, discover the roads of the world and the ditches where you will spend many nights. This is the second trial.
Do you dare to take the step out in uncertainty?

The third trial. I'm unsure when I should consider this to actually have begun but it is about endurance. When you've travelled far and been kicked around enough by nature and/or society, it will begin to strain you. You will face physical and mental exhaustion. Another more serious strain might be that people will have begun to worry. If you feel obliged to call home, the test is over. You are not ready to die, period. Also, some pain to the body shouldn't bother a truely suicidal person. Nothing that can threaten your life would.

The final task. Deciding on when and how you want to die. Either way you choose you'll win. You've come very close to something that ressembles a suicide: Taken a step out in the unknown, left everything behind and run away from your problems at home. You are mature to make the decision now because you will know what it means to die. Your suicide is correct.
If you don't want to die anymore, you will know why. Perhaps you will even know what you need to do in your life. Dying wasn't right for you so dealing with your problems anyway you can is the only thing that is left.

It goes without saying that if you at anytime abort the thing and go home, you shouldn't suicide. For the same reason you wanted to go home is the same reason for why you should live.

Some may point out that this is absolutely crazy, in contrast to all that modern society stands for AND highly dangerous. I agree, it is but see it from the eyes of the suicidal man. He is in a very dangerous place already. Successful suicides is also something for bull-headed people. The same kind of people that would do an insane thing like this. I'd say it is better they try it out and at least be free for a while. Who knows, a thing like this might actually build the spine that is currently lacking. If you've been through it, you will also know how incredibly strong you really are.

At least, the philosophy is right. I've sworn myself to go through all these trials before commiting suicide. I've never even got passed packing the bag so I must conclude, I'll never suicide. Very Happy