DonDud
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jul 20, 2010
Age: 28
Posts: 184
Location: North Carolina
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 Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:51 pm Post subject: Is it difficult for you to admit liking the opposite sex? |
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It shouldn't be... that's so normal. But it's always been hard for me.
As I got older and the normal interest in the female form came to me, I didn't know how to make that transition, in the social sense. I mean, in elementary school, boys and girls aren't expected to want anything to do with each other... then suddenly, they are. I didn't know how to admit that I started to feel that attraction too. In middle school, I used to pretend that I didn't know the names of any of the girls in my class, because I was afraid that if I named one, people would tease me for liking her. From then, up until today, whenever I find myself in a situation with guys saying how "hot" some girl is, the most I can muster is an agreeable mumble, if even that. I find myself unable to go any further than that. I guess part of it is respect for women. I mean, we aren't supposed to objectify them, so in some ways, I've beat myself up over a totally normal attraction. It's really only been recently that I've come to terms with the fact that it's OK to think a woman is pretty. There couldn't be anything wrong with simply appreciating beauty.
Since it's so hard for me to contribute to conversations about women, I kinda worry that people could mistake my sexual orientation, or think I have something else to hide. I mean, everyone talks about that kinda stuff, but it's a particularly difficult social area for me. |
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MotownDangerPants
Phoenix
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Joined: May 14, 2010
Age: 29
Posts: 955
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, I was always very shy around boys I liked. Still am.
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KaiG
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 11, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 1045
Location: Berkshire, UK.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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I've got no problem acknowledging when a girl is attractive, provided it's not in a disrespectful way. I do have a problem working out whether I like someone in a romantic sense. I don't think I've ever been around girls enough to become infatuated with anyone, or to like an individual enough to consider actually doing something about it. I've had a few minor crushes and that's it. I really need to meet more girls.
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I have difficulty saying what I feel initially. I liked this guy for three months before actually saying it. After I say that I like someone, and they return the feelings, then I can say it more easily. I guess I fear rejection. D: |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9356
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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School colleagues always thought I was kind of a gay or even sexually deficit due to the fact that I make little to no reaction (such as whistling , or 'wow' , or O_O or *drooling* ) when some smoking hot girl passes by , sometimes they cant' believe when I say that didn't notice her.
Deep down , I always have this attitude : "why should I give her all this attention if I mean little to her?" - anyone thinks like this?
I overheard once a girl asking my friend whether I am gay or not.
A colleague asked me once if I can have erections.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:43 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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xxZeromancerlovexx
Succubus
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Joined: Jul 25, 2010
Age: 19
Posts: 1327
Location: Falling by the wayside...
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm super boy crazy so I tell everybody who I like. From celeb crushes to the obtainables I've never been shy around boys. I keep them guessing though I never say "OMG you're hot go out with me!" |
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Shebakoby
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 06, 2009
Age: 40
Posts: 1566
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Eh, there is no 'admitting' of anything, in my case. At present it looks very much like I can't form attachments like that. |
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Pandoran-March
Raven
Joined: May 14, 2010
Posts: 103
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Most people are really thick when it comes to romantic feelings, and NTs are no exception to that. They may do all the subtle things that you're supposed to do or not do when you like someone, but the baseline isn't any different. If the other person doesn't know that you're interested, then they're going to act as if you're not.
In a lot of cases simply knowing the other person has feelings for them will completely change their reaction. Being subtle yet direct with how you feel can capitalize on that, and if you're the type of person they would be interested in, then it's going to make your life a lot easier.
Letting other people know that you're interested may be half the battle for some people, but it really doesn't have to be.
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dyingofpoetry
Woodland Elf
Joined: Apr 26, 2010
Posts: 1195
Location: Fairmont, WV
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| Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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Mmm... It's always been difficult for me to admit to liking the opposite sex. Mainly cuz I don't.
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"If you can't call someone else an idiot, then you are obviously not very good at what you do." |
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spongy
...
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 7411
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave
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| Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:00 am Post subject: |
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| Erisad wrote: | | I have difficulty saying what I feel initially. I liked this guy for three months before actually saying it. After I say that I like someone, and they return the feelings, then I can say it more easily. I guess I fear rejection. D: |
I have a similar problem, however I never linked it to fear of rejection although you are probably right and there is a conection between both. |
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Pistonhead
Really That Big
Joined: Jun 16, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 4732
Location: Bradenton, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:08 am Post subject: |
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YES!!! Caps lock intended.
Even before elementary school I was somewhat attracted to girls. In elementary school this got me in trouble a couple times, my mom got involved. As far as I'm concerned I'd like my family to believe that I am asexual until I die. Which of course wouldn't be easy seeing as my mom knows I haven't been without a girlfriend for more than a couple months since I was 16.
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Surya
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 19, 2010
Posts: 437
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| Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:11 am Post subject: |
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Yes I can say/admit I am attracted to someone
Would I approach them and tell them.. no
Only people I can approach are professionals or people in the service industry - I know basically what they are going to say, they hardly ever change the rules.. know what I mean?
I have thought about this a lot lately and I have never approached an individual that was not working in some place I needed something from
every person I have ever known as a 'friend' has approached me - usually soon after they realise their mistake and move on or just can't deal
Any guy I have been with has approached a person I knew, or me if they knew me well enough..
I get approached by randoms on the street.. to often and some ask me very strange things... 
| The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | ..... thought I was kind of a gay or even sexually deficit due to the fact that that who makes little to no reaction (suck as whistling , or 'wow' , or O_O or *drooling* ) when some smoking hot (guy) passes by , sometimes they cant' believe when I say that didn't notice them.
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Edited your quote to suit me, cause it kind of works for me..
On off most my life people have thought I was gay or odd because I never ever notice the typical guys everyone else seems to..
But then, if I do 'check out ' a guy or say someone is hot - If 'friend(s)' that I am with, do not know me to well, they usually say something like .. what? your joking? or just look shocked mixed with disgust. If they know me sort of, they just do whatever, depending on who it is
| KaiG wrote: | | I've got no problem acknowledging when a (guy) is attractive, provided it's .... I do have a problem working out whether I like someone in a romantic sense. ... |
Edited your quote to suit me, cause it kind of works for me..
yea if some random is walking down the street, I will look/notice if my type.. depending on my mood, and just what he looks like, I may, may comment out.
Not sure what you meant by romantic sense (feelings or sex or both?)
for me, I have huge problems with 'feelings' period. To the point where it can actually interfere with my reading comprehension (can't recall the name for it)
but basically if a question says what feelings are/is this piece written with or expressing, I am screwed. First time I really realised it, was when I argued with an instructor over an answer - piece was written in a frustrated and angry tone - I said humour (the guy reminded me of Archie Bunker)
but romantic sense -feelings, only once and scared the hell out of me - made me ill, frightened, insecure etc then good, comfortable etc then ill
romantic sense - sexual convenience - no one night stands.. not because of morals either.. but semi-frequent-regular was good, got the job done so to speak |
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DaWalker
Dual Axis Personality Order
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Joined: Jul 12, 2009
Posts: 10837
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| Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:21 am Post subject: |
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Is it difficult for you to admit liking the opposite sex?
It's difficult for me to admit that I like anyone - much being attracted to someone. |
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PlatedDrake
Argentum Draconis
Joined: Aug 26, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 1362
Location: Piedmont Region, NC, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 8:32 am Post subject: |
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| I think it's pretty much awkward for anyone to admit emotional states to others (especially men). Dunno why, but that seems to be a constant trend for as long as society has been around. Course, in a way, it kinda helps ID sincerity (ie a sincere guy is interested, but has his doubts about being accepted. A "sex addict," is just interested in screwin around and has no qualms asking any girl and her mother). |
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Ambrose_Rotten
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 23, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 424
Location: Madison, WI
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| Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:19 am Post subject: Re: Is it difficult for you to admit liking the opposite sex |
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| DonDud wrote: | | From then, up until today, whenever I find myself in a situation with guys saying how "hot" some girl is, the most I can muster is an agreeable mumble. |
I really have no problem admitting that I'm attracted to the opposite sex (or even the same sex for that matter). That said, I agree with your statement. I've heard people say things to me like "Check out the knockers on that chick."
I usually just nod and mumble in agreement the way you do, but here's what's going on inside my head at that moment.
| Ambrose's Thoughts wrote: |
Is there anything special about these "knockers?" Are they putting on a theatrical act? Are they talking to each other? No? Great. She has boobs, I've seen boobs before. I don't care. You know what? She has a nose too! And ears! She even has eyes and a forehead! I bet you anything there's also a brain in there! |
People might as well be saying "Check out the moss on that tree!" or maybe "Check out the paint on that wall!" Moss may not be as sexy as a female figure to us humans-who-are-attracted-to-human-females, but they aren't some spectacular rare phenomenon either. Some folks really need to get over it. |
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