irishaspie
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 26, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 366
Location: ireland
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 Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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most gay guys i know want to have a real relationship. just the stereotpyical ones (which as with any stereotype, is the minority) let the rest of us down.
i cant see a guy every falling for me. i hardly ever speak, which i think is necessary for relationships.
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If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
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kiwi
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 448
Location: the GARDEN city..
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| Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:40 pm Post subject: What about.. |
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| irishaspie wrote: | most gay guys i know want to have a real relationship. just the stereotpyical ones (which as with any stereotype, is the minority) let the rest of us down.
i cant see a guy every falling for me. i hardly ever speak, which i think is necessary for relationships. |
What about talking with your eyes or eyebrows..
or body language.. 
hmmm couch talk 
_________
New site www.gayaspie.com |
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audioeyes
Toucan
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Joined: Feb 23, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 255
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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| irishaspie wrote: | most gay guys i know want to have a real relationship. just the stereotpyical ones (which as with any stereotype, is the minority) let the rest of us down.
i cant see a guy every falling for me. i hardly ever speak, which i think is necessary for relationships. |
You contradict yourself.
You say not everyone fits into stereotypes. Yet in your second statement you stereotype all guys as not having the stamina to be able to work on getting to know you.
I know you don't mean to do this. Your situation must be a tough one. But remember there are many guys out there who do have that stamina. You will meet someone, maybe online where you DO talk, and he will take the time and be patient with you.
There are many people who have the strength in them to do the kind of challenging things that require time, patience, understanding, an open mind, an open heart, effort etc. Not everyone is lazy and will run a mile the moment some work is required.
And don't underestimate yourself either. You are capable of coming out of yourself, and you could well surprise yourself. With the right person, the right environment, the right level of understanding and respect it could happen. Don't make the mistake of thinking that because you have a certain way of being, you will be like that forever, no matter what. Believe in your own ability to change and grow, and as a result, get what you want.
*hugs* it is not easy, but it is not impossible.
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Rikki
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Stinkypuppy
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2006
Age: 34
Posts: 1553
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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Heh Rikki, I started reading your response and was initially like "wow, harsh!" But continuing with the message, I could see that "you contradict yourself" was actually a very supportive comment. That totally rocks.
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audioeyes
Toucan
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Joined: Feb 23, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 255
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you.
He contradicted his first statement (which is true), with his second statement (which is not true).
I was just helping him realise this.
TRUE
Many people don't fit the negative stereotypes.
NOT TRUE
There is no one in the world that would care enough to get to know him.
I hope this empowers him to realise that...
- despite how unfair life can be sometimes, it can also be wonderful because HE controls his life.
- And that despite how an unfair life can make him pessimistic... his pessimism is a biased untruth.
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irishaspie
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 26, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 366
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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i concede that it is possible for it to happen (for more hilarious contradiction,read my signature and put it in context of what i said last  )
but i still think the possibilty of meeting "the one" is highly unlikely for me. but thank you for your support.
*hugs*
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If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
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audioeyes
Toucan
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Joined: Feb 23, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 255
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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forget about "The One".
Whoever came up with such a concept?????
You will meet people.
Somewhere in there will be decent people.
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kiwi
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 448
Location: the GARDEN city..
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| Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:34 am Post subject: marriage |
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| audioeyes wrote: | forget about "The One".
Whoever came up with such a concept?????
You will meet people.
Somewhere in there will be decent people. |
hmmm marriage is about compromise?
haha hmmmm
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Dig it be it join it www.gayaspie.com new raw friendly small |
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Loli-kun
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 13, 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 148
Location: Vermont, USA
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| Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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| melissa17b wrote: | While I am not aware of the statistics correlating Asperger's and homosexuality, I do know that there is a strong bi-directional relationship between Asperger's and transgender conditions - TGs are far more likely to have Asperger's than the population at large, and Aspies are disproportionately TG - especially natally female ones. As there is at least some suggestive evidence, albeit inconclusive, that in at least some cases TG conditions and homosexuality have overlapping causes, it is not unreasonable to hypothesise that Asperger's and homosexuality could also be correlated. Nothing scientific here, just a topic for a motivated researcher...
As for the term Aspie, I'll go out on a limb and attempt to speak for us at large - when used respectfully, it is inoffensive and appropriate. I assign the term an aspect of solidarity when used between Aspies and of understanding and acceptance when used by NT people. Of course, if someone means it as a pejorative, it is offensive, period. |
Yeah I'm AS and MTF Transsexual. It'd be nice if someone would do a bit more research into that link! I did find one thing online, and Expert in ASD and Gender Identity did some research and found that "the rate of autism spectrum disorders among children and adolescents with gender identity disorders was eight times what would be expected by in the general population." (http://www.pridesource.com/article.html?article=42913) Which is shocking and sorta comforting as well.
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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
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shane1234
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 29, 2011
Age: 53
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:13 pm Post subject: thankyou |
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| hi thanks for all the info i have just found out i am aspie bit late for me i am 51 had some good times had some bad times but to be honest i would not live this life again its too hard i love everyone around me thats the only reason i stay |
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straightfairy
Raven
Joined: Jul 19, 2011
Posts: 110
Location: Midlands, UK
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| Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:04 am Post subject: |
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| irishaspie wrote: | i concede that it is possible for it to happen (for more hilarious contradiction,read my signature and put it in context of what i said last )
but i still think the possibilty of meeting "the one" is highly unlikely for me. but thank you for your support.
*hugs* |
Maybe unlikely, but still possible, especially given your age.
It's much easier at 20 than at 40...
<shameless flirt>
I LOVE a soft Irish accent
<flirt mode off>
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Away with the fairies. |
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Matt1988
Emu Egg
Joined: Jan 11, 2012
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 9:28 am Post subject: |
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[quote="big_fat_phony"][quote="SamAckary"]I swear at one point I thought I was bi, I liked both but now I really, really like two girls, I wish both of em were bi for *personal reasons* but I think I love them, I hate love, it pisses me off a lot, chooses those who will never go out with you, oh well, i'm never lonely, i couldn't really care less[/quote]
Personal reasons :P... hmmm!! :P... just so you can have both of them eh!? :p
I'm not really lonely myself, but i'd still like to have a chat with more AS gays, cause maybe they struggle more... hmmm![/quote]
I'm AS, currently gay but was bi from 12-20 and slept with a few girls between then and 22...just realised with the last one that I'm not into women any more and haven't been for a while...perfunctory doesn't begin to describe the experience.
With regards to struggling more I think there are two sides to it, on one side it is harder to fit into social situations, on the other the gay community is already not a part of mainstream society and is thus an easier egg to crack than overly normal social groupings (a similar thing might be aspies who go goth or make friends with a bunch of stoners or whatever - the group is not what most people would consider normal and its members are often more accepting to each other than the people we meet in every day life are).
It is harder to deal with aggressive behaviour as someone with AS...kind of like a really extreme fight or flight quite disproportional to the causal event (manageable, with difficulty, once acknowledged) and this can make dealing with homophobia more difficult...I'm not really sure what advice to give for this, but I've found that it's easier to be my usual, brutally honest self in this area; if it comes up, I tell people the truth, unashamedly, and for the most part they react as NTs can be expected to, i.e. directly mirroring your own expressed feelings on the matter (for example, if someone finds out by rumour that you are gay and that you aren't comfortable with it, they may use this against you; if you are open about it and take pride in the relationships you have then this someone cannot use it to bully you, and if they try it isn't hard to run them into the ground with logic).
Bringing me to a big point, don't be ashamed of it if you are gay or bi or TG or whatever the heck else you can come up with (don't share please, esp. with regards to cyber-orgies...). There is no more point or reason to be ashamed of your sexuality than there is in being ashamed of being AS or autistic, it is just who you are and the hand you've been dealt, make the most of it and if you want to have some fun gay times then go ahead, just be careful of some of the wankers out there and wear a condom.
Lastly, if you're still in school then perhaps this isn't the best advice; my class mates were unaware I was bi until 6th form (when kids generally get a bit more tollerant) and the reason for this was that the obviously gay kid in the year got torn to shreds for it on a regular basis in years 9 through 11.
I don't profess to have all the answers, I've just had a fairly interesting life to date and somehow wound up in a place where I am at peace with who I am and have a small circle of extremely good friends (once people get to know us, I think they can come to like the curiosities of AS...I know this isn't the case for everyone, but I decided on my 19th birthday that I wanted to be the best person I could be, so that even if people weren't necessarily my friend they would have limited reason to dislike me, and you know how it is when we get obsessed with something; you end up in a situation where you're everyone's go-to-guy when they need a favour and if you're nice to them - fake it when you don't feel it - then you'll soon find you get invited to things and with practice you'll learn a few social tricks (one or two - and no more - exceptionally good jokes at a party go a long way to warming people towards you, choose a moment when most people are smiling and not diverted))
Sorry about going on a total tangent there at the end, I guess I'm just trying to say that the only way to be happy is to accept yourself and be who you want to be and bugger any NTs who don't like it (maybe not the best choice of verb considering).
If anyone wants to ask anything then feel free to post on this or message me. |
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DaveTheRave
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| hi my names david and am 21. i have aspergers obviously lol. im confused and have been for a while. the thing is im sure i like women but i have regular urges and feelings directed towards people of the male variety, and often have fantasises that i am a woman or a man who is seduced by a stronger man. what does this mean. help?? |
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chessimprov
Toucan
Joined: Jun 12, 2010
Posts: 291
Location: Philly
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| Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 2:34 am Post subject: |
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| DaveTheRave wrote: | | hi my names david and am 21. i have aspergers obviously lol. im confused and have been for a while. the thing is im sure i like women but i have regular urges and feelings directed towards people of the male variety, and often have fantasises that i am a woman or a man who is seduced by a stronger man. what does this mean. help?? |
There is a good chance it could mean you're actually bisexual and do not realize it, or that you're straight, but very open to gay people. If you had another life as the opposite sex of what you are, you might still be straight or a gay man. |
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Imapanda
Blue Jay
Joined: Jan 01, 2010
Age: 21
Posts: 90
Location: Plymouth - Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Man I wish I had the courage to do more with myself.
I'm gay, 20, diagnosed with aspergers at 10. I obviously stutter and slur my speech and can never think of what to say in a conversation. I'm unemployed with no income and live with my mother. I'm addicted to computer games and have no real life friends. 
Being an extremely jealous person doesn't help either, I'm the only one to blame for my problems. |
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