Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1832
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 Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 5:56 pm Post subject: Signals |
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| Theres this guy I like but I dont want him to know that I like him. Hes NT, and Im afraid my body language is just gonna give it away. I'd like to be more aware of what kind of signals that people commonly give off when they like someone. Just to be more aware of myself. |
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billsmithglendale
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 18, 2008
Posts: 1223
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| Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Well -- don't stare at him or glance at him (like making eye contact repeatedly and breaking away). When a girl keeps looking at a guy, he knows she is interested in some way.
Think of it as an exercise in self-control -- I know you want to look, but take that mental picture and restrain yourself, or sneak the looks later when he can't see.
Why is it you don't want him to know? |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1832
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| Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:06 pm Post subject: |
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| ^Because Im pretty sure he wouldnt go for me due to religious differences. Also due to bad past experiances when certain guys hadnt been into me. Its hecka ackward when a person knows that you like them. So since I already know he wouldnt go for me, Id rather spare myself the ackwardness. I really wanna just get to know him without him thinking anything. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18156
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:52 am Post subject: |
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| love created the whole universe, so love surely can find a way to surmount mere differences in religion. |
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billsmithglendale
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 18, 2008
Posts: 1223
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| Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Ai_Ling wrote: | | ^Because Im pretty sure he wouldnt go for me due to religious differences. Also due to bad past experiances when certain guys hadnt been into me. Its hecka ackward when a person knows that you like them. So since I already know he wouldnt go for me, Id rather spare myself the ackwardness. I really wanna just get to know him without him thinking anything. |
I understand, religion is a big factor. Some people are just never going to marry outside of their religion, and pursuing them is a waste of time.
Here's the thing -- any time a girl makes an extra effort to know a guy, it is suspect. It doesn't mean the guy is going to point that out or make fun of her though. I have plenty of female friends or acquaintances where it is clear to me they like me, but I know they know the line, and that they would never push things too far.
So I wouldn't worry about that part of things too much, just your own expectations and whether you are wasting time you could be spending with someone who will love you. |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1832
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| Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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| billsmithglendale wrote: | | Ai_Ling wrote: | | ^Because Im pretty sure he wouldnt go for me due to religious differences. Also due to bad past experiances when certain guys hadnt been into me. Its hecka ackward when a person knows that you like them. So since I already know he wouldnt go for me, Id rather spare myself the ackwardness. I really wanna just get to know him without him thinking anything. |
I understand, religion is a big factor. Some people are just never going to marry outside of their religion, and pursuing them is a waste of time.
Here's the thing -- any time a girl makes an extra effort to know a guy, it is suspect. It doesn't mean the guy is going to point that out or make fun of her though. I have plenty of female friends or acquaintances where it is clear to me they like me, but I know they know the line, and that they would never push things too far.
So I wouldn't worry about that part of things too much, just your own expectations and whether you are wasting time you could be spending with someone who will love you. |
Yeah you definetely have a point cause I did ask him to eat dinner with me a few days ago and I said that I wanted to get to know him better but I did not specify a one on one thing. But he didnt bring anyone so it was just the 2 of us. Tho I did tell him that i was doin the same with a couple of other people. Which I was. I dont have a thing for them.
Another thing: friendship is very important to me and he seems like he can be potentially a good friend. I do wanna get to know him like Id wanna get to know anyone who could be a good friend. And I dont really have my eye on any other guys right now so I dont see it as a waste of time.
I think Im starting to obssess over the situation way too much. Cause Im just really conscience cause we have some friends in common and Im hoping that they dont suspect that I like him. Im rather fearful. |
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billsmithglendale
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 18, 2008
Posts: 1223
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| Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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Just don't protest your innocence too much, know what I mean? Often it becomes very obvious if you keep reassuring someone you're not chasing them that in fact you are.
Out of curiosity, if you don't mind saying -- what is his religion? And yours? |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1832
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| Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| He's Christian and Im Agnostic. I really dont think he dates outside his religion, i dont know for sure. You do however make a point about me chasing him. I think I still am in a way but I try to cut down on doing so. See he works in the library and I always study there so I will talk to him frequently when he works and there was this one time I practically hung around for 1/2 an hour. But our other friend also worked with him during that time. So the 3 of us were talking. I dont hang her as around as long when shes working alone. I sorta stuck around her just cause he was working there. I sorta stuck more around her as a comfort zone. This happened 2x so far. |
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chiyoko
Blue Jay
Joined: Nov 14, 2010
Posts: 95
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| Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| I could be wrong, but I don't think agnostic is a religion. It just means he is unsure of the existance of God and the unknown. A person who is agnostic does not dispute another person's religion. They are not athiest. I don't think there would be problem for you to date him. |
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chiyoko
Blue Jay
Joined: Nov 14, 2010
Posts: 95
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| Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:24 am Post subject: |
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Oops! My bad, I read that wrong. You're agnostic and he is christian. Sorry.  |
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billsmithglendale
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 18, 2008
Posts: 1223
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| Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| Ai_Ling wrote: | | He's Christian and Im Agnostic. I really dont think he dates outside his religion, i dont know for sure. You do however make a point about me chasing him. I think I still am in a way but I try to cut down on doing so. See he works in the library and I always study there so I will talk to him frequently when he works and there was this one time I practically hung around for 1/2 an hour. But our other friend also worked with him during that time. So the 3 of us were talking. I dont hang her as around as long when shes working alone. I sorta stuck around her just cause he was working there. I sorta stuck more around her as a comfort zone. This happened 2x so far. |
Ah, that doesn't sound as much of an obstacle as I thought it might be -- if he were Jewish, Hindu, or possibly Muslim, I think he would be more resistant.
I'm also Agnostic, and have some qualms about ever becoming involved with someone who didn't believe in Evolution, science, etc.
That being said, I think the gulf is much smaller than that of the other religions mentioned above, not because of anything inherent to those religions, but more that culturally, people from those religions or areas that celebrate those religions tend to be more insular and less likely to out-marry.
So don't give up hope. Just see where things take you. |
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