Post 3358301 - (Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal?)

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Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal?

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EricS
Raven
Raven

Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Posts: 100

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 2:24 pm Post subject:

Joe90, Staring? In my country, normally people do not stare at strangers, unless they know each other. But instead, they do look at strangers, but only for a short moment so it doesn't look like staring. Maybe staring we consider as rude, I don't know. Forgetfulness - I'm also very forgetful. What I normally do is, ex. keys, handphone and other things, I make sure to put at one particular place at home all the time so will never forget, won't get lost and have to search. Handphone, I've lost one before, so immediately after losing it, the new handphone I join it with a nice string that I can attach to my pocket, so when outside, will never place on the table and forget or get lost again.

Joe90
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Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8241
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 2:57 pm Post subject:

Quote:

Staring? In my country, normally people do not stare at strangers, unless they know each other. But instead, they do look at strangers, but only for a short moment so it doesn't look like staring. Maybe staring we consider as rude, I don't know.

Where I live, people intentionally look at people who may look just a tiny bit odd. Last week I went bowling with my friends, and one of my friends hadn't been bowling before. When it was his go, he went half way up the lane and was about to bowl, when my other friend yelled, ''that's not how you do it - you must stand behind the line!'' And the people in the lane next to us looked at him.
There are lots of different types of looks, and I know them off by heart. Some looks are ''friendly looks'', which I don't mind. Some are ''flirty looks'', which I do sometimes get from men. Some are ''odd looks'' which people give you if they are trying to figure something out on you, which are also known as a type of glare. I don't like those looks. They offend me. But I can't look that weird or stupid, because I've often had strangers coming up to me and asking me questions, like, ''excuse me, do you know if the Chelmsford bus has come?'' or something general like that. And I know what people are like - they wouldn't go up to a person who looks like a bit of a freak and trust them to answer their question, so I can't look that freakish then. Also, parents with small children don't think anything when they're standing near me, so I can't look that untrustworthy either. And I seem to get NT men fancying me, so I can't look that weird. Plus I wear nice, trendy clothes, and I am tall and slim and attractive, and I always make myself look presentable.
So I don't get what the odd looks are all about.
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From: East UK
Age: 23

EricS
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Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Posts: 100

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:44 pm Post subject:

Joe90 "Plus I wear nice, trendy clothes, and I am tall and slim and attractive, and I always make myself look presentable." I also make myself presentable. It helps me look confident, though my confidence level is not high enough! When I go to most places, most people look up to me, I think it's because I can look like their good prospect if they are selling something! Long ago, I never bother what I wear, so I remember I was looked down. So nice clothing or make ups really helps. Good looks also helps of course. You said when something has happened, people stare or looked at you? That's common. They just wanna know what happened!

Joe90
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Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8241
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:18 pm Post subject:

EricS wrote:

Joe90 "Plus I wear nice, trendy clothes, and I am tall and slim and attractive, and I always make myself look presentable."

I also make myself presentable. It helps me look confident, though my confidence level is not high enough! When I go to most places, most people look up to me, I think it's because I can look like their good prospect if they are selling something! Long ago, I never bother what I wear, so I remember I was looked down. So nice clothing or make ups really helps. Good looks also helps of course.
You said when something has happened, people stare or looked at you? That's common. They just wanna know what happened!

Good advice.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23

Joe90
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Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8241
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:01 am Post subject:

I don't like the way I get so obsessed with something that I will become morbidly depressed if my obsession got destroyed. That's why I am panicking about the government cut-backs. I just know it will affect my obsession...... ps, what's the difference between the word ''affect'' and ''effect''? _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

amaris74
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: Oct 23, 2010
Posts: 46
Location: New Zealand

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:07 am Post subject:

Here's a link which explains the difference, Joe90: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/affect-versus-effect.aspx Btw, what is your obsession and how will government cut-backs affect it? I get obsessed with things as well, but I normally try to have more than one so that I'm never bored!

Yensid
Lonely Ghost
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Joined: Mar 19, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 5252
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 4:00 am Post subject:

I accept what I am, and all the wishing in the world will not change what I am. The truth is, though, that if I could wish away my life and give it to this NT version of me, I would do it gladly. Maybe he would have a better chance of happiness than I have. _________________ "Like lonely ghosts, at a roadside cross, we stay, because we don't know where else to go." -- Orenda Fink

samsa
Toucan
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Joined: Nov 06, 2010
Posts: 282
Location: Canberra, Australia

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:04 am Post subject:

Would be nice sometimes (especially easier to relate to people,) but I do enjoy my eccentricities. _________________ "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus

Joe90
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Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8241
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:04 am Post subject:

Quote:

Btw, what is your obsession and how will government cut-backs affect it? I get obsessed with things as well, but I normally try to have more than one so that I'm never bored!

Well, I am obsessed with my bus what I catch every day to work. I like the route, the schedule, the regular passengers, the drivers, and even the bus company what runs this bus. I fancy a few of the bus-drivers, and one of them has taken a shine to me too, but he is much older than me and is married. We still talk in the bus sometimes, and the other drivers are really friendly. Not just that - getting on this bus relaxes me.
And it takes me to work, of course. But all over the news they are saying that hundreds of bus routes are going to be cut by the government because the greedy arseholes want more money, even though they are in 44 million pounds debt they still don't need to go this far.....(OK, don't get me started on the government, otherwise I will go completely off-topic), and I am just so frightened that this bus route will be taken off. It may not sound much to other people (unless they need to get to work on it), but it is double the worry for me, because a, I need it to get to work and so I will be thrown on the dole without being made redundant b, I will miss all the drivers c, that is the only bus what goes through where I live, d, I will lose my special interest, which is one of my only pleasures I have. It makes me feel sick to think about this.

I am obsessed with the weather, kind of, but not enough to be ashamed if I lost it, (for example, if I moved to a type of country where they just get heat, sun, and about 10 rain showers a year). And I've only become obsessed with the weather because of my anxiety, which is snow. I hate snow so much, because of the icy pavements and the slipping. Where I come from, you get humiliated when you slip over, and people laughing and looking at me also makes me anxious, which has made me hate snow. And I seem to be more prone to slipping than others because of my Dyspraxia - I have low muscle tone in my lower legs and feet which makes me hold myself stiffly, especially on ice or other lethal surfaces.
So now, (back on topic), I find myself excessively looking on the BBC weather website for the outlook. If the temperature gets below 2 degrees, it is likely to snow heavily (ooohh, *shudder*). In the spring and the summer, my obsession with the weather goes away, because I don't mind sun, rain, thunder, wind, mist, hail, ect., because there is no chance of snow, obviously. The temperature rises to 24 to 38 degrees, which won't result in me slipping on ice.
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Age: 23

EricS
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Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Posts: 100

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:24 pm Post subject:

Joe90, hopefully one day your parents will consider moving to a warmer country to stay, to care for your welfare. My country is usually very hot, around 80-90 degree fahrenheit. But if I go up to a very high mountain, it may be very cold. One night, it was about 40 degree fahrenheit, I was there shivering so much, my teeth, hands and legs were shaking and I find it very difficult to talk! The winds were like clouds blowing, like I used to see in TV, those people who go up to Mount Everest.

Joe90
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Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 12:36 pm Post subject:

I've found the reasons why I want to be NT. It's because of outbursts. I hate these f***ing outbursts. Not only that - each time I have an outburst, it backfires. It sends my poor family into distress. It makes me feel more awkward and angry with myself. Then I have to face the consequences afterwards, with having those awful, guilty feelings inside me. I sometimes slap myself in the face with my hands, which is my way of telling my brain how much I hate the way the ugly thing is wired. I also hate being a minority. When you're a minority, you can't get your own way on anything. At least NTs get their own way on some things. For example, I don't like it when the lounge door is open, because I don't like hearing the chattering of the TV from my bedroom (my bedroom is downstairs). But once my brother wanted the lounge door open because he was hot. But I said, ''why can't it be even? Why can't you open one of the windows, then we'd both be even - I wouldn't hear the chattering of the TV and you wouldn't be hot.'' But no, he thought the idea of me liking the lounge door shut is ''stupid'' because ''nobody else would worry'', and nobody else in the house said nothing, so I walked out saying, ''fine, have it your own way then!'' Life is horrible when it's them against you sometimes. _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

EricS
Raven
Raven

Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Posts: 100

Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:18 pm Post subject:

Joe90 wrote:

I've found the reasons why I want to be NT. It's because of outbursts. I hate these f***ing outbursts. Not only that - each time I have an outburst, it backfires. It sends my poor family into distress. It makes me feel more awkward and angry with myself. Then I have to face the consequences afterwards, with having those awful, guilty feelings inside me.

I sometimes slap myself in the face with my hands, which is my way of telling my brain how much I hate the way the ugly thing is wired.

I also hate being a minority. When you're a minority, you can't get your own way on anything. At least NTs get their own way on some things. For example, I don't like it when the lounge door is open, because I don't like hearing the chattering of the TV from my bedroom (my bedroom is downstairs). But once my brother wanted the lounge door open because he was hot. But I said, ''why can't it be even? Why can't you open one of the windows, then we'd both be even - I wouldn't hear the chattering of the TV and you wouldn't be hot.'' But no, he thought the idea of me liking the lounge door shut is ''stupid'' because ''nobody else would worry'', and nobody else in the house said nothing, so I walked out saying, ''fine, have it your own way then!''

Life is horrible when it's them against you sometimes.

It sure looks like our outbursts is very abnormal. I never thought about it when I was young. I get angry very easily. I now understand it's because I'm not a NT, that I get frustrated, angry, hated, hot tempered, etc quite easily. And I thought it's normal, but it's not. Normal people also show tantrums, anger, etc, but I feel my kinds of anger, etc was so different. They are able to be close friends again after the anger or quarreling so easily, but I find it hard to do so.

Why these outbursts? I think the reason is I feel so unfairly incapable to 'be like' other people, I get frustrated so too easily, so the outbursts occurs, though I never really want it to happen. I did not know how to let go of the outburst. It's like the outburst stays in me for quite a long time.

But lately, strangely, I seem to be able to cool down my outbursts, though not totally. Maybe because now I've finally found out the reason for my outburst is because I have asperger, and I want to throw away the harmful and poor personalities I had, and do what I think is good to show good personality.

Niall
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Joined: Feb 13, 2011
Posts: 141
Location: Forth Estuary area, West-European Archipelago, Western Palearctic, Sol 3 (AKA Central Scotland!)

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:42 am Post subject:

I often wish I'd never been born. After all, everyone would be better off without me around. Does that count? _________________ "Do not try to understand them, and do not try to make them understand you. That is because they are a breed apart, and make no sense." ( I was nicknamed Hawkeye after a field survey a few years ago. This seems even more appropriate now!)