Frieslander
sin free lard
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Joined: Jan 08, 2011
Age: 42
Posts: 2735
Location: Michigan, USA
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 Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:54 pm Post subject: help! Aspie falling for NT |
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or at least I think she's a NT. I ruined things because of mentioned in another WP forum (I cannot reach that one here because this Burger King computer is even more family-friendly than public library computers).
I met her online through OkCupid. I can't stop thinking of her today, and keep thinking of holding her and kissing her on the neck.
She kept saying that I overthink everything (mostly answers to OkC questions), and now I think she was right. All I can say is.... oh, I don't know. I can't get her out of my mind. Plus, in addition to overthinking, I mentioned that other dumb thing.
Scary to me because she has an ex-husband who apparently cheated on her, and she has two kids. I wish I could find someone without kids. |
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Daryl_Blonder
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 27, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 473
Location: Salem, CT
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| Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Make like Katy Perry... run away and don't ever look back.
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Check out my IMDB page! |
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AliPasha
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 12, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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| There's nothing wrong with falling in love with an NT we are all human. Now if she has kids and a bad ex-husband, well it doesn't matter who you are or what you have, your approaching a slippery slope there. All in all good luck with this situation. |
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emlion
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 03, 2010
Posts: 17641
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| Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| What's the problem? You like her, she's NT, she has kids so what? |
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Frieslander
sin free lard
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Joined: Jan 08, 2011
Age: 42
Posts: 2735
Location: Michigan, USA
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| Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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| emlion wrote: | | What's the problem? You like her, she's NT, she has kids so what? |
I like this response the best.  I just her ex isn't a "toxic ex" as Barbara DeAngelis puts it.
I goofed in thinking that wefunction was not in that photo in the other forum, but I was wondering - that is you in the photo, emlion? Interesting photo. Like I said before, not everyone puts photos of themselves in their avatars. |
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emlion
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 03, 2010
Posts: 17641
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| Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes, that is me. :3 |
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Frieslander
sin free lard
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Joined: Jan 08, 2011
Age: 42
Posts: 2735
Location: Michigan, USA
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| Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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very cute photo!
What does that :3 mean? |
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Daryl_Blonder
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 27, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 473
Location: Salem, CT
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| Posted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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| emlion wrote: | | What's the problem? You like her, she's NT, she has kids so what? |
Emlion, I absolutely and completely respect your opinion, but if you don't see what's wrong with this situation, I believe it is a strong possibility that you may not have a clear understanding of how ASD affects interpersonal relationships.
With what little information that has been provided I believe this situation is a potential disaster for the OP, and would likely end up being very harmful to his psychological health. If he says he "ruined things" I would assume there is already some negative history here between him and the object of his affection.
Frieslander, it's a fair assumption that you like Emlion's post because it's what you want to hear, but I believe anyone who encourages you to pursue this is giving you the wrong advice. As someone with ASD who has been to hell and back with attempted romantic relationships, and who believes he has a clear grip on what is and is not feasible for us, I am advising the OP in no uncertain terms to let this go. If you don't, the harsh reality is that it is possible, likely even, that you could get very seriously hurt, and there are few things more painful to watch than the breakdown of a brokenhearted Aspie. 
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emlion
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 03, 2010
Posts: 17641
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| Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 7:42 am Post subject: |
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| ^ & if you don't try, you never succeed. |
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SpatzieLover
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 16, 2011
Posts: 39
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| Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I wish I could find someone without kids. |
You could if you MADE IT a PRIORITY. I'm NT with an AS husband. I have NO IDEA how on earth we could've made this work had we had a child in the first years of our relationship.
I think you need to gain self-awareness prior to dating someone with kids. Can you actually handle this? For real?
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NT SAHM/AS Husband & AS Son
I love those who do not know how to live for today. ~Nietzsche
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