jackbus01
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 06, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 1197
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 Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:57 am Post subject: |
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Short Answer: No
(Not that it makes any difference, since the question is so theoretical)
Has anyone considered that if society were more tolerant, then you would not be marginalized as much. I have noticed that the people that like me the most seem to be open-minded tolerant people. Maybe society just needs to be more open-minded about each others differences. I think that is one of the problems. Society needs to try harder to accommodate AS people.
If this were combined with some early social skills training taught formally, than I don't think things would be so bad.
I think my problems stem from the fact that I didn't know why the world seemed like a strange place. I did not know that I had AS. I also had to fumble through people interaction without knowing what to do. If someone would have taught me people skills when I was young I would probably have fewer problems.
As far as sensory issues are concerned, if society were more tolerant to people stimming, then sensory issues would be a little easier to deal with. Sensory issues will always be a problem though, although I have learned some coping skills.
Ultimately, you have to learn to be happy with yourself. You have to like yourself.
Come on cheer up everyone, this thread is depressing.  |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:15 am Post subject: |
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Well, on the bright side, I was never bullied in school. I feel so sorry for those of you who were bullied. How horrible it must have been.
Is there any other Aspies who didn't get bullied in school?
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zer0netgain
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2009
Posts: 4247
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| Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:37 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps it is bad for me to say this, but many time, yes, I wish I was born "normal."
I've come to accept my life as it now is, but I feel this deep sense of loss when I think of all the negative ways I've been affected by my condition, and I can't help but wonder "if only...."
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glider18
Supporting Member
Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 6800
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:31 am Post subject: reply |
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| zer0netgain wrote: | Perhaps it is bad for me to say this, but many time, yes, I wish I was born "normal."
I've come to accept my life as it now is, but I feel this deep sense of loss when I think of all the negative ways I've been affected by my condition, and I can't help but wonder "if only...."
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When you say "if only...", I am assuming you are referring to things you may have done had you not been born with autism? By any chance, do you enjoy writing?
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questions28
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Joined: Feb 15, 2011
Age: 15
Posts: 634
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| Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 11:58 am Post subject: normality |
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To be honest, I don't think there is a 'normal', and I don't think the happiness of aspies and NT's can be compared. There is certainly nothing wrong with being an aspie, indeed, it's just a label, and I suppose everyones a bit aspie really.
Of course, this is just my opinion, but happiness is found within yourself, and you should always be happy with yourself. No-ones perfect, everyone has flaws, but everyone has gifts too, and its up to you to realise your own. Whether or not you're an aspie or an NT doesn't change this.  |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:56 pm Post subject: Re: normality |
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| questions28 wrote: | To be honest, I don't think there is a 'normal', and I don't think the happiness of aspies and NT's can be compared. There is certainly nothing wrong with being an aspie, indeed, it's just a label, and I suppose everyones a bit aspie really.
Of course, this is just my opinion, but happiness is found within yourself, and you should always be happy with yourself. No-ones perfect, everyone has flaws, but everyone has gifts too, and its up to you to realise your own. Whether or not you're an aspie or an NT doesn't change this. |
You do have a point there. I'd rather be me than the boy next door to me who socialises normally but has done some really strange things in the past few years as he's become a young adult. I won't say what he's done on the internet, but if you knew you would be disgusted.
Since I've left school I've met some really strange people, and it's really made me think that just because you're NT doesn't mean you're lucky. I just wish I didn't have the sensory issues.
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EricS
Raven
Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Posts: 100
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| Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 12:52 am Post subject: Re: normality |
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| questions28 wrote: | To be honest, I don't think there is a 'normal', and I don't think the happiness of aspies and NT's can be compared. There is certainly nothing wrong with being an aspie, indeed, it's just a label, and I suppose everyones a bit aspie really.
Of course, this is just my opinion, but happiness is found within yourself, and you should always be happy with yourself. No-ones perfect, everyone has flaws, but everyone has gifts too, and its up to you to realise your own. Whether or not you're an aspie or an NT doesn't change this. |
You may be the lucky one. For me, it was frustrating. For nearly 50 years of my life, I never knew I had asperger, only thing was, I knew I was different than other people. But how different, I was not sure. I just knew something's not right.
Just imagine, you have asperger but did not know it yet. Your age keeps going year after year, and you wonder why you seemed so lost, so different, so difficult to mix around like others can. You feel you are handsome/pretty, you're a good person, caring, loyal, but you find it so difficult to mix around, you wonder why. The frustration causes you to sometimes show your anger, though you don't mean to cause anyone any trouble. But the anger makes it even more difficult to mix around - again.
This was how my life had been - not knowing what I had was called asperger. If I had known at my younger age, like you guys/girls know at such a young age, I'm sure I could be feeling better many, many times today than how I had been feeling.
Good news is, ever since I knew I have asperger, about one and a half years ago, I can feel I have taken the steps necessary to better myself. I should say thanks to my wife who had taught me many things before. She passed away about a year before I was diagnosed to have asperger. |
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Joe90
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Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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I just don't like the way I let myself get shitted upon by other people.
But each time I have ever retaliated in my life, I still got off worse.
Also, I feel awkward all the time. I'm always in the way. Each time I try to help someone trying to move furniture or something like that, I don't help, I get in the way. Or when I'm in shops I'm always standing right in the way, looking awkward and unconfident. I wish I wasn't like this, but I don't know how not to be like it. I've got to be in a really, really, unusually good mood to be able to have some confidence in me when I'm in shops, but like I said, me being in a really good mood when out in public is very unusual for me.
Also, I'm a 20 year old female but I don't like anything what most 20 year old females like. I am not interested, and it's hard to make yourself interested in something you don't want to be, unless you can give in to peer pressure, which I struggle with anyway. I don't like putting on make-up, or dressing up, or clothes shopping, or TV shows like the x-factor, or having a fancy hairstyle.....it's just too much effort for me, and I haven't got a large amount of friends and men to show it off to anyway (and besides, the men who I like me like the way I am anyway). My mum says it's probably because I'm stuck in a rut with myself, and she's right. I mean, I'd rather have an extra hour in bed than having to get up early to groom myself and mess around with make-up and so on. I mean, life's a struggle as it is for me, without adding extra tasks to my routine!
I just wish I was someone who didn't get myself into a rut all the time and who just followed peer pressure naturally. But because I'm not, I can't be arsed to care!
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Digsy
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 19, 2011
Posts: 81
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| Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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| I wish I had been born. |
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cupcake
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 31, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Only before I was diagnosed. When I was a teenager, I kept thinking that I was really "normal," but for some reason, most of the others just rejected me. When I found out I had Asperger's Syndrome all along, I had a reason for being who I am and ways to make life easier for me. Thankfully, I am able to go to therapy and get the help I need, so that also makes having Asperger's easier for me. |
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undefineable
Velociraptor
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Joined: May 14, 2007
Age: 34
Posts: 462
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Digsy wrote: | | I wish I had been born. |
Well said - I always say (to a select 2 or 3 ppl ofc) that due to autism, no 'me' was ever born; autism prevented a person (in the usual sense of the word) from taking shape - from the womb onwards - in my body |
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EricS
Raven
Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Posts: 100
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| Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:15 am Post subject: |
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| cupcake wrote: | | Only before I was diagnosed. When I was a teenager, I kept thinking that I was really "normal," but for some reason, most of the others just rejected me. When I found out I had Asperger's Syndrome all along, I had a reason for being who I am and ways to make life easier for me. Thankfully, I am able to go to therapy and get the help I need, so that also makes having Asperger's easier for me. |
This is what I've been thinking, knowing or not knowing you have asperger makes a lot of difference. Because I didn't know at first, it was tough living. Not understanding what is really troubling me because even a psychiatrist didn't even know there's such thing as asperger. Until I know that I have asperger, things are coming into place. I start to understand my problem, and able to learn and improve easier because of the understanding. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:17 am Post subject: |
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AS is just a disability - how does that not make me a person?
I get irritated when other people on the spectrum say we're aliens instead of people, just because we have a disability. There are hundreds of different diversities that nothing can possibly make someone less human than others. I find it a stereotype. An offensive stereotype. Why should having a disability separate you from the general population?! I even feel sorry for children what are born severely deformed, when people say that they aren't people. That is not fair. It's just as offensive as saying white people aren't people, or black people aren't people. That’s how offensive it is to me, being called an alien just because I have a few learning difficulties.
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so_subtly_strange
Toucan
Joined: Jan 18, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 293
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| Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:21 pm Post subject: |
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| occasionally i am jealous of normies and interactions they have that will always escape me. but for the most part i enjoy the way i am. pro's outweigh cons and such |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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I seem to have a strange attitude with social activities. When I think of all my cousins who go out to parties every week-end, I get horribly jealous. But if someone invited me out to a party, I would panic and say no. Then I go back to being jealous again.
I think it's because I wish that I wanted to go out to parties without getting nervous.
It's a funny attitude what goes round and round in circles. But there is more to life than parties. I'd rather just live in a flat, married to a handsome man, both working and earning a wage, and booking romantic holidays together. And meeting up with the few nice friends what I have got. And of course seeing my family at week-ends. That's all I want. Not too much to ask, and it is the average sort of life.
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