Do Aspies have to apologise for everything?

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Until recently I had no idea what aspergers really was. Now I realize it is probably what has been the most debilitating part of my life However I have lived what I consider a great life my inability to understand social situations has had a toll on my social life.

From an early age I have always been forced to apologise for all kinds of things. For instance someone may verbally attack me but everyone around when this happens expects me to apologise to the person that attacked me even when I can't even imagine I did anything to provoke it. For years and years I refused to apologise when this happened to the point I pissed off lots of people. I have always said that casual acquaintances hate me and my friends who get to know me love me.

I may be misinterpreting some unspoken cues and making people dislike me and expect me to apologise? Is this common?

AS means never saying sorry topic

AS is not a disease, and is in itself not a danger to self and others. You might apologize for certain behaviours, but never apologize for being AS.

My husband constantly tells me I should apologise to him and even though he explains why he is offended, he never understands that he is just misinterpreting whatever it was I said. The kicker - I'll apologise (without any real understanding of my offense) and then he gets mad because I don't sound like I mean it. I never intended to hurt his feelings, and I am sorry he was hurt- but I won't agree that my words were wrong so the apology is invalid to him.

I used to do this frequently apparently. I've learned to just shut up and think twice before speaking. This has had to opposite effect in that people see me as stand offish and cold because I don't 'banter'. Largely because of this issue I've given up on trying to make friends. There are other reasons but this is the main one. It's been too exhausting to try and fix.

That is really the problem being seen as the bad guy. I can be actively helping someone and they will get angry at me for no reason at all. This is almost always a problem with people who don't really know me and I have had it often.

I think I do have much more damage control that most people. I have never got complete control of my meltdowns and freak out. I don't define it any more as justified, no matter the circumstances ((well I'm going "America" on someone who physically attacks me)). But in regular, everyday life there is no reason to meltdown like I do. I just do..and got to say sorry. I'm sick of being sorry, sick of loosing all credibility because I cry and get frustrated. I'm sick of being over sensitive..but not sure when it will change.

I always apologise if someone is hurting me.
It usually makes them stop.

I don't apologize for being the way that I am. I apologize for the mistakes that I make.

Like people expect you to APOLOGIZE for being YOU????

Well, HE## NAW! I learned a long time ago that if somebody can't accept me for ME, then that's what WE call a PERSONAL PROBLEM. And it requires a PERSONAL SOLUTION!

I've gotten that kinda' CRAP all my life! In some cases, it meant that I had to stop dealing with certain family members for a while. In other cases, it has brought out an abusive and/or cruel side of me that people didn't expect. THEN it becomes the whole thing of me being a cold-hearted MONSTER!

And ya' know WHAT???? I DON'T CAAAARE!! !!

"You don't talk enough!"

"You always like to be by yourself!"

"You're SELFISH because you don't want a wife and kids."

"You're never social!"

TOUGH SH!+, PEOPLE! It AIN'T A-GONNA' CHANGE because you ALLOW yourselves to be MISERABLE about it and then get ANGRY and then THINK that I'm gonna' SOMEhow APOLOGIZE and then change to meet your sick-minded needs!

Some of THEM aren't exactly PARAGONS OF SOCIAL FLUENCE themselves! What's THEIR logic for THAT????

Oh my gosh, stop shouting.

IDK... it seems like Surreal has some legitimate reasons to shout!