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Lord Badgerchops
Joined: Oct 15, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 1433
Location: Southeastern United States
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 Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:53 am Post subject: Infuriating situation |
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A delicate matter for you to provide your opinion on. I'll try to watch my language to keep this post within the TOS.
Earlier today I was in a store waiting for relative of mine to get off of work. I decided to walk around the store because I was getting bored waiting up front. I spent some time looking around and then returned to the front because it was almost time for the person I was waiting on to get off. I overheard a customer complaining to a cashier that someone was following her around the store making her feel "uncomfortable" and "staring her down"and she threatened to call the police, and then she pointed at me and said "yeah you". My first thought was I did not even notice this woman, so how could I be "staring her down". After that the person I was waiting on said "just go"so I left because I did not want to cause a scene. My next thought when I was outside was what the f**k did I do? I can't walk around a damned store without being accused of stalking. I was in full pissed off take legal action mode. But I returned to this store shortly there after, and I was told to let it go and that no one believed what was said. Easy for you to say, nobody threatened to call the cops on you. I'll get over it, a f**king month from now. A dark day for our kind. What does everyone think?
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Chronos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2010
Posts: 5231
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| Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:57 am Post subject: Re: Infuriating situation |
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| PM wrote: | A delicate matter for you to provide your opinion on. I'll try to watch my language to keep this post within the TOS.
Earlier today I was in a store waiting for relative of mine to get off of work. I decided to walk around the store because I was getting bored waiting up front. I spent some time looking around and then returned to the front because it was almost time for the person I was waiting on to get off. I overheard a customer complaining to a cashier that someone was following her around the store making her feel "uncomfortable" and "staring her down"and she threatened to call the police, and then she pointed at me and said "yeah you". My first thought was I did not even notice this woman, so how could I be "staring her down". After that the person I was waiting on said "just go"so I left because I did not want to cause a scene. My next thought when I was outside was what the f**k did I do? I can't walk around a damned store without being accused of stalking. I was in full pissed off take legal action mode. But I returned to this store shortly there after, and I was told to let it go and that no one believed what was said. Easy for you to say, nobody threatened to call the cops on you. I'll get over it, a f**king month from now. A dark day for our kind. What does everyone think? |
"Lady, I couldn't possibly have been staring you down because I still have my vision and I haven't turned to stone."
To the cashier: "There's a lady who's making false accusations against me and making me feel uncomfortable." |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13486
Location: My house
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| Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 1:40 am Post subject: |
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It's good no one believed the lady. The lady may have been paranoid because it's possible she may have been stalked in the passed and coincidentally you took the same path she was taking in front of you and you happened to go the same direction she went. So she got paranoid because of her past experience.
And you weren't arrested or anything so why a month to get over it?
And my dad's cousin once threatened to call the cops on me because I was having a meltdown and I didn't care so I told her "go ahead" and she didn't call the cops. I think it may have been a empty threat or else she would have done it. I was 15 then. Me and her did not get along. We used to until we moved to Montana and I figured it had to do with me being older so she expected more out of me. My parents didn't get along with her either. Mom decided to shut her out of her life but last time I heard, she wanted to work things out and mom was okay with it. |
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PM
Lord Badgerchops
Joined: Oct 15, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 1433
Location: Southeastern United States
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 1:24 am Post subject: |
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| League_Girl wrote: | | And you weren't arrested or anything so why a month to get over it? |
Because when I have walked around stores before and nobody said anything. I could have been overreacting or I could have had a meltdown and not have known.
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Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? |
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hale_bopp
All Kinds of Freak
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 14837
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:42 am Post subject: |
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I think this is terrible. Some people are weird. I don't know I guess we seem intimidating?
Once I was walking home and this lady was going the exact same way and she thought I was following her, so she crossed the road and waited for me to go past.. im a 5'6" weakling, hardly strong. 
I'm sorry for what happened to you. I guess next time try not to walk around the store. |
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jackbus01
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 06, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 1197
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:05 am Post subject: |
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| I think the lady in the story has her own paranoia issues. You assume you are the messed-up one, you're not. |
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Philologos
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 22, 2010
Posts: 6977
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:58 am Post subject: |
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Years ago I went into a bookstore. Couple other customers. I browsed the shelves, minding my own business.
comes up to me asks me to leave. Others stay.
To this day I do not know why.
In your case, as you know anyone who decides to feel harassed IS harassed.
At least I did not face that. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13486
Location: My house
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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Sometimes my husband jokes about a person in front of us thinking we are following them. It's when we are on the road and I tell him "no" and I also say if the person thinks we're following them, then they are just being paranoid. But on Sunday I said if someone thinks that, then they probably have a history of being stalked and maybe they have experienced road rage from someone so when someone is following behind them and going the same way they are going, of course they will think that because of their past experience.
But hey if someone thinks they are being followed, stop walking and see if that person keeps walking or goes elsewhere and keep testing them by repeating those same steps, same as if they are on the road, pull over and see if that car will keep on driving. That's a good solution for paranoid people. |
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bucephalus
LOVES the woman who loves the man who's out of spa
Joined: Jan 27, 2009
Age: 30
Posts: 1847
Location: with Hyperlexian
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:03 pm Post subject: Re: Infuriating situation |
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| PM wrote: | A delicate matter for you to provide your opinion on. I'll try to watch my language to keep this post within the TOS.
Earlier today I was in a store waiting for relative of mine to get off of work. I decided to walk around the store because I was getting bored waiting up front. I spent some time looking around and then returned to the front because it was almost time for the person I was waiting on to get off. I overheard a customer complaining to a cashier that someone was following her around the store making her feel "uncomfortable" and "staring her down"and she threatened to call the police, and then she pointed at me and said "yeah you". My first thought was I did not even notice this woman, so how could I be "staring her down". After that the person I was waiting on said "just go"so I left because I did not want to cause a scene. My next thought when I was outside was what the f**k did I do? I can't walk around a damned store without being accused of stalking. I was in full pissed off take legal action mode. But I returned to this store shortly there after, and I was told to let it go and that no one believed what was said. Easy for you to say, nobody threatened to call the cops on you. I'll get over it, a f**king month from now. A dark day for our kind. What does everyone think? |
That would have made me feel like smashing up the shop, but like you, I probably would have forced myself to walk away during the heat of the moment, then be pissed off for a month for not doing anything about it. Believe me though, from an external point of view, you did the correct thing. Even if you had manged to flame the girl in words and make her look like a paranoid fool you still would be left with even more s*** to think about for 4 weeks. I still get angry over a supermarket incident that happened three years ago which I delt with correctly
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gottspieler
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:02 am Post subject: Re: Infuriating situation |
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| PM wrote: | A delicate matter for you to provide your opinion on. I'll try to watch my language to keep this post within the TOS.
Earlier today I was in a store waiting for relative of mine to get off of work. I decided to walk around the store because I was getting bored waiting up front. I spent some time looking around and then returned to the front because it was almost time for the person I was waiting on to get off. I overheard a customer complaining to a cashier that someone was following her around the store making her feel "uncomfortable" and "staring her down"and she threatened to call the police, and then she pointed at me and said "yeah you". My first thought was I did not even notice this woman, so how could I be "staring her down". After that the person I was waiting on said "just go"so I left because I did not want to cause a scene. My next thought when I was outside was what the f**k did I do? I can't walk around a damned store without being accused of stalking. I was in full pissed off take legal action mode. But I returned to this store shortly there after, and I was told to let it go and that no one believed what was said. Easy for you to say, nobody threatened to call the cops on you. I'll get over it, a f**king month from now. A dark day for our kind. What does everyone think? |
I was in a Barnes and Noble last year and the same thing happened to me. I said "hello" to two girls in the front of the store that I happened to have seen earlier near the back end. The manager told me that even his coworkers accused me of "staring" at them, although I was simply looking around the store. Sure I look at cute girls too but it isn't a damn crime. He threatened to kick my out if it happened again. I spoke to him outside about it. He said "I'll work with you.", whatever that means. I wish he would have admitted to being a douchebag and apologized. I had never seen those girls at the store before and I am a frequent customer so he couldn't claim to be protecting his business interests. Sometimes I want to just get into a bloody fight and prove to people that they shouldn't mess with me. It is sad that things have gone this far. |
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gottspieler
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 21, 2011
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:11 am Post subject: |
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| League_Girl wrote: | | It's good no one believed the lady.... And you weren't arrested or anything so why a month to get over it? |
Well what if they had believed the lady? The mere thought of being wrongfully accused of doing something you didn't do is infuriating and makes me personally want to kick some ass (I bench press 345 x 3). I have taken so much sh** in my life that I want to explode. Teachers have said lies about me, friends have deserted me, women have broken my fragile heart. The only thing keeping me from delivering justice to people in the form of a fist to the kisser is a potential prison sentence. Nothing is ever worth getting butt-ravaged over. 
Also, in my case, I would have been kicked out of the only place I have to wait around before going to work. My dad drops me off there so that I can walk to work but I have to wait 3 hours or more oftentimes because our schedules our not in sync. |
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Conspicuous
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 06, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 195
Location: Phoenix
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:11 am Post subject: Re: Infuriating situation |
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| PM wrote: | A delicate matter for you to provide your opinion on. I'll try to watch my language to keep this post within the TOS.
Earlier today I was in a store waiting for relative of ...
...What does everyone think? |
Well, if you're anything like me, you have a hard time remembering where you eyes are going when you're not really concentrating on anything. I've often been accused of staring at women's chests when talking to them. It's not that I'm actually even looking at them; I just view my entire line of sight at once so it doesn't matter so much to me where my eyes are pointed.
Maybe you were absent-mindedly staring and didn't realize it. If so, don't worry too much about it, but maybe try to keep track of your eyes in the future. |
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gailryder17
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 16, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 1024
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 12:52 pm Post subject: Re: Infuriating situation |
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| Conspicuous wrote: |
Well, if you're anything like me, you have a hard time remembering where you eyes are going when you're not really concentrating on anything. I've often been accused of staring at women's chests when talking to them. It's not that I'm actually even looking at them; I just view my entire line of sight at once so it doesn't matter so much to me where my eyes are pointed.
Maybe you were absent-mindedly staring and didn't realize it. If so, don't worry too much about it, but maybe try to keep track of your eyes in the future. |
That happens to me too! Sometimes, when I'm absentmindedly staring, one of my eyes goes in a separate direction from the other. Hehe...  |
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Sinestro
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 28, 2011
Posts: 62
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Back in November I was working my job and a woman came with a black dude who was covered in gang tattoos. I must have been stimming subconsciously because she accused me of laughing at her friend, when I wasn't. |
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Meggo
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Dec 02, 2010
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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| She was definitely paranoid. It's hard not to take something like that personally. But now is the time to reaffirm to yourself that you cannot change people or control others. It happened. It has passed. It was NOT your fault. And it's time to pack the memory away. I know it's difficult, but we can't let things eat us up, right? I'm constantly reaffirming this to myself too and it doesn't always work right away. It's a continual process. |
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