Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9818
Location: Central USA
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 Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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Re. Vacuuming:
I would suggest you go outside when your mother vaccuums. You'll still be able to hear it, of course; but it should be less overwhelming. Tell her you are allergic and would prefer to stay away from the dust (which, of course, is true); and that you can't hear yourself think when the vacuum is going. I'm not sure whether you can take hot or cold temperatures, or the humidity of a summer day or a rainy day; but maybe it's a suggestion to think about.
I've managed to desensitize myself to vacuuming to some degree; it's only when I'm trying to concentrate on something that vacuums bother me nowadays... So as you grow older, you may learn to tolerate noises (and other sensory input) that bother you now.
Re. Your mom yelling at you for being weird:
She's going about it the completely wrong way, and I think we both know that. Yelling doesn't help a thing, and likely it's loud and high-pitched and makes you want to plug your ears anyway. (But don't plug your ears, because she interprets that as being rude.)
I think you really just need to get that diagnosis... if your mom understands you have an actual known condition, and aren't just trying to be difficult, and what's more, said condition confers advantages along with the weirdness... She may be more willing to work alongside you than she is now.
Start with the family doctor. Chances are you're going yearly if you go to school, since they require physicals. If you're not good at communicating with speech, write down what you think about being an Aspie--say "Asperger Syndrome or mild autism" rather than "aspie"; half of them don't know that term--and hand the note to the doctor. Check it over for mistakes when you're done; or if you like, one of us could correct your note for grammar/spelling to make it more understandable.
If the doc won't listen, or if you don't want to talk to a doc, then you can ask a teacher. Tell him/her you think you might have an explanation for why you're different, and that if you turned out to be right, knowing this could help you learn better. Actually, if you don't like your teacher, go find another teacher... maybe some of the special ed people in your school are used to AS and can identify it when they see it.
(Aspies are usually in mainstream classrooms, but we can have additional problems like dyslexia or meltdowns--temper tantrums--that put us in special ed classrooms sometimes. HFA kids go there for speech therapy; and many on the spectrum go for social skills training or separate test-taking.)
_________________
Engineering & Psychology student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com |
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blackcat
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 1258
Location: 10 miles south of sanity.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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augh the incessant VACUMING!!! must...DESTROY...vacume cleaner!!! yelling is how she handles everything. i also walk everywhere backwards(or spinning)and it amazes my friends. they try it and wham into each other!!!  ive never talked 2 my doctor. evey question she asks i stare at my mom till sge ansers 4 me...i talk when its all over. hospitals freak me out...uh, Super toilet!"Sooooo much cloooooging!!!" |
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SteveK
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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blackcat,
You are QUITE a character! You are the epitome of the type of case I have been aluding to. Someone that seems intelligent, etc... but acts practically oblivious to others, etc... Does your doctor even know you can talk? And you CAN walk forwards ok, right? Do you just walk backwards because you like it better, find it a bit easier, or to freak others out?
BTW I say this just because I am curious. I mean no ill will, etc...
Steve |
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blackcat
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 1258
Location: 10 miles south of sanity.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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| yes, she knows i can talk. she commented that i was a strange and starers at me often laughing at my accidental jokes. yes, i can walk fowards. as 4 reasons to the walking backwards, all of the above. |
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Griff
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Posts: 1615
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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| I do the spinning thing, too. It's just a complex tic, as far as I can tell. It seems to respond to my moods. Think of it along the lines of someone who gets "happy feet" whenever music comes on. On a more philosophical note, my mind truly cannot comprehend why it would be less logical to walk backwards than forwards if it has never caused me any trouble to do so. |
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blackcat
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 1258
Location: 10 miles south of sanity.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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| is being quite a charter good? my friends call me priceless. one says i should be a never remove from box(what ever that is)oh, is there a word 4 the crying fits of unexpplained anger followed by numbness(or rawness-i cant explain-) or izzit what i called it? |
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blackcat
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 1258
Location: 10 miles south of sanity.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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| "Happy Feet"?! i wanna c that movie so bad!!! |
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Griff
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Posts: 1615
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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| blackcat wrote: | | is being quite a character good? |
If he realizes that it's wrong to dissect members of his own species, yeah, kinda.
| Quote: | | oh, is there a word 4 the crying fits of unexpplained anger followed by numbness(or rawness-i cant explain-) or izzit what i called it? |
MELTDOWN! Hehehe. It's nothing. Sit tight, and wait for it to pass. |
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SteveK
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Blackcat,
Being quite a character was meant in the best way! You sound like a nice person. I swear, its a shame everyone on this board can't just meet one another, especially since some of the things are SO hard to imagine. I'm sure she meant never remove from the box as kind of a way of being funny.
I don't know about the crying fits of unexplained anger, but that reminded me of yet ANOTHER part of my life. It only happened a few times a year to a couple a month, and only happened up until like 10 years, but I would suddenly have this feeling like I ABSOLUTELY had to do something, like it would cripple my life if I didn't do it, and it left me with a kind of depressed feeling. I FELT like crying. Of course, I sometimes have a similar feeling when stuck in some senseless task with waiting, and NOTHING productive to do.
Griff,
A tic is different from a "stim" in that it is involuntary. Stims are almost like inherent habits. They just feel good or relaxing, and are kind of automatic. A LOT of kids do that kind of thing, and can stop, but may not know they are doing it, and not WANT to stop. Eventually, most "outgrow" it. Apparantly, autistics often don't. A tic may not be so enjoyable, but can't be avoided. That spinning sounds like an AWFULLY complex tic! You REALLY can't stop?
BTW most peoples heads turn only about 90%, and the gait isn't made to do that efficiently, so walking backwards is often not that easy. But HEY, I'm happy to do things like that myself. Of course, I don't USUALLY walk backwards. Last week I probably walked about 25 feet backwards(I was talking to someone I met going where I was, and spoke face to face) and, outside of some PE time where I ran backwards, hat might have been the longest stretch I have gone. That is ANOTHER reason I am learning hindi. I think the next contract I am at I may use IT to freak some out.
Steve |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87185
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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I'm both, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  |
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Griff
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Posts: 1615
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Well, "stim" is what I meant by that, actually. I just wasn't recalling the word, and the term "complex tic" seemed to come close enough. As for walking backwards, believe me, it's really quite easy, for some easier than walking normally due to the higher mental focus. |
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blackcat
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 1258
Location: 10 miles south of sanity.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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meltdown u say griff? oh, i can stop spinning ,steve,im having a rocking issue today, ive been doing ith sense 6:48am (my time)its 4:29pm now... im scared i may never stop...and i REALLY dont need any extra attention at skool 2morrow...cockney rebel, im liking your way of thinking! oh,steve, we should all meet up. that'd be cool. should she(my mom) yell about me not acting my age?she says i act like a 5 year old(my friends act 7&8...around me any way. they're up 4 anything i wanna do(like sword fighting with sticks, thats awesome, and ninja battles!!!)except mercy, they wont play that any more cause i "cheet"( in very flexible and "double jointed"-no such thing actually- in my shoulders. i can pull them from their sockets and pop them back in no problem. ive actually let ppl take turns doing this(this year after i hadnt done it since 3rd)and 1 grl FREAKED OUT!!!  ... s'funny though! |
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Griff
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Posts: 1615
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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| blackcat wrote: | | meltdown u say griff? |
Yeah. Those states of anger followed by a feeling of emotional exhaustion. I think they calm down some as you mature. They're only dangerous if you take them too seriously. |
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SteveK
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Posts: 3417
Location: Chicago, IL
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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OH to be a kid again! 5years old? I don't imagine that is too bad for someone with AS!
I still remember what that was like for me. That was almost 39 YEARS ago!!! My mother still seemed somewhat sane, even if she WAS too neurotic, and didn't agree with my VERY clean AFTER I finish a project, but a bit clutered during policy! I had a friend that was like a father(I called him an uncle) to me. He was into mechanics, a little electricity, and a general do it yourselfer. The story GOES at least that he built a cabin we lived in for a while. I did puzzles all the time while I wasn't working with wood, or studying, or working with electronics. I was somewhat happy, and under the adult induced illusion that kids would "grow out of" their issues. I also had a good primarily protien diet, and had no worries about time.
TODAY? I think my mother might be getting alzheimers, and she is STILL neurotic. I no longer clean up after every project, etc... because it has been DRUMED OUT OF ME! The friend died about 32 years ago. 8-( I don't do puzzles anymore(I want to get back into that). I moved from electronics/woodworking to computers, and did less outside studying(I am getting back into that). I was depressed until recently when I worked to get rid of the depression once and for all. No thanks to my doctor that perscribed something dangerous! I now KNOW that, although some bullying WAS peer pressure and is now OVER WITH, they NEVER grow out of it! It merely changes form for most. My diet now has FAR too many carbs due to a lack of control. 8-( Oh yeah, I am middle aged, so time currently seems shorter.
I was even befriended by at least 2 middle age men. Maybe they were both like I am now, and saw a little of themselves in me. They were just REAL friends that happened to be older. One was into mechanics, etc.... He taught me how to use a lathe, showed me his screw works(He made special screws and parts for places like NASA, etc...), and helped me with wood, electricity, etc.... I still remember the huge machines that were probably 6 feet or higher, and had perhaps 6 operations they could do. They COULD be fancy parts, maybe having an angle, knurls, tapping, flaring, hollow, or solid. Metal rod went into one side, and a few seconds later the parts came out the other side. The other person just spoke to me about computers. I just got an apple II+, and he had an atari. It was interesting seeing the different methods, and interfaces. The Apple II+ at the time, for example, had ONE processor, and WOZ set it up so the video generator actually refreshed the memory, and the sound was a simple clicking system based on accessing one address. The Atari had THREE processors. It had a 6502 for the main management, one for the video which had sprites(a new concept), and one for the sound. Surprisingly, the Apple won out, though the Apple WAS a cleaner and cheaper design.
Today, they may both have avoided such interaction because it would have been suspect. That is SAD! I could have lost out on a lot of fun and learning because of POLITICAL GARBAGE!
ENJOY your life as it is now! The next 5 years may appear to FLY by!
Steve |
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Louise
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 24, 2005
Age: 25
Posts: 389
Location: Suffolk
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| Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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I still have to read the last two pages of this thread, but don't have time at the moment - I'm mainly posting now so it'll show up in my 'threads I've posted on' list so I remember to read the rest of it.
Also wanted to say, I learned to read very early, also am bothered by noises (people eating in the same room as me: eurrrgghhh!  ), have tended to get random crying in the past, although less now (although I still get randomly very stressed), also rock when stressed, although can stop if I concentrate. If you can't stop, don't worry about it. It's a coping mechanism and will ultimately help you feel better. (The way I see it is, if anyone is rude enough to complain about something so harmless to them, then they're the one with a problem.) I'm not sure if this has been adressed yet, but if not, you need to talk to your mum about aspergers/autism. I found explaining it all to my mum confused her at first (she even said 'you can't be autistic, you're too intelligent!') but in the long run it helped her to understand me better.
Oh, and appreciate that you have friends. A lot of us find it hard to make and keep friends, and it sounds like you're doing really well in that aspect.
It was nice to read a thread (well, part of a thread) by someone who sounds in many ways similar to myself.  |
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