Xuincherguixe
High Priest of the Followers of Squiggy
Joined: May 10, 2006
Posts: 1419
Location: Victoria, BC
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 Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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People that sexually assault others piss me off.
Why the hell do they feel a need to do these things? If they really want sex that badly, that's what prostitutes are for.
But it's not about sex. It's that they get a kick out of keeping people down. And their brain chemistry is probably so warped that it's just a series of pseudo random actions.
It's disgusting. |
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wendytheweird
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 10, 2006
Posts: 328
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| Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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| My first boyfriend, when I was 16. Well, let me start off saying that I wasn't really interested in him, but I felt like I should have a boyfriend becaue that's what girls my age did and I was already such a freak. So I went out with him when he asked me, even though I thought he was stupid. Anyway, he manipulated me into having sex. I told him I didn't want to and he told me I had to b/c I had been a tease and you can't go back once you've done x, y, or z. And since I didn't know any better, and I KNEW that I didn't know and didn't understand "unspoken social rules" I figured I had messed up somewhere and now I had to do it. So essentially, I was raped, because I said no, I don't want to, and I definitely did not enjoy it, but I didn't physically resist. as*hole. I broke up with him immediately after, of course. No way was I doing that with him again. |
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blackdove
Toucan
Joined: Nov 22, 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 278
Location: spaceship
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 4:48 am Post subject: |
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i will not go off on a tangent of long-winding stories, but i can say that it is definatly a disadvantage for people with AS or other neurological disabilities, over NTs in this arena.
I know this from previous experiences. A 'weird' girl is seen as an easy target. she obviously suffers from low self-esteem and other social disfunctions, therefore making it all the more easy for men to 'get to her'.
i've been in some pretty horrific situations before. (enough times to know)
people claiming to be interested in me for 'romantic' reasons.
hook, line, sinker. i ate the bait.
i would say this was especially a problem when i was young.
i was so very naive to people, to relationships, and intentions.
as i've gotten older (hopefully wiser)
i tend to have better foresight.
when guys take interest in me, i question thier motives.
when people all of a sudden start popping up randomly into my life out of nowhere,
i take notice.
i don't give out trust or permission to myself as easily as i had in my youth.
i'd like to say it gets easier, but truthfully it doesn't.
the hurdles are lifelong. there is no debate in that.
the best i can do now is work on prevention.
to not allow manipulation from others destroy my ego.
i hope for ALL teen girls to take care, and be aware of themselves. mind/body.
_________________
"To be or not to be" that is the question.-Willy Shakey |
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MomofTom
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2006
Posts: 713
Location: Where normalcy and bad puns collide
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 1:17 am Post subject: |
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Aye. 
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Apathy is a dominant gene. Mutate. |
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ping-machine
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 26, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 910
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 3:30 am Post subject: |
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| But what is it, if someone goes too far because you were unable to tell them no? |
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Hazelwudi
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2006
Posts: 521
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:59 am Post subject: |
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| I never understood how a woman... any woman, Aspergers or no... could be so naive or trusting. Observation reveals that one should be anything but... as does having even an elementary knowledge of statistics or evolutionary theory. |
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r_mc
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 18, 2006
Posts: 204
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 11:52 am Post subject: |
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| Hazelwudi wrote: | | I never understood how a woman... any woman, Aspergers or no... could be so naive or trusting. Observation reveals that one should be anything but... as does having even an elementary knowledge of statistics or evolutionary theory. |
It happens when they're either afraid they'll loose the person, feel exceptionally awkward about the encounter and don't know where the boundaries are or have very low self esteem. |
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Hazelwudi
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2006
Posts: 521
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 6:46 am Post subject: |
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| It still involves a base lack of understanding about the world that boggles the mind. I'm absolutely astounded at how any woman could live much past 18 and not have developed somewhat of a seige mentality in this area. |
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Scintillate
Everything and Nothing
Joined: Oct 05, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 1274
Location: Perth
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 9:26 am Post subject: |
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I've known too many women that let themselves be used to punish themselves...
I want to help that sort of situation but it definately isn't something you can change in a person, they can either learn to love and respect themself in some way, or never at all.
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All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine! |
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Murdal
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 22, 2006
Posts: 158
Location: Fairfax, VA (Wash. D.C.)
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| Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 3:57 am Post subject: |
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As a male (I know I shouldn't post here) I doubt I can fully understand this topic with out actually being a woman. That said, not all of us guys are bad. However, all women have the right to be paranoid about us. I've had to help so many friends through abuse problems and it's quite horrible.
Society thinks we're the ones with problems (Autism community) yet they barely even bother with those who are a real danger to society. They just lock those people up and let em go in a couple of years.
I do hope that things change for women in general over the issues of abuse and assault. I swear, if I saw one of my female friends about to get in to something bad (or have something bad happen to her) the guy trying to do it would be a bloody mess if I had my way as it seems violence is the only true way to get through to them.
Anyway, just my thoughts. I do hope none of you mind me posting here being a guy and all  |
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blackdove
Toucan
Joined: Nov 22, 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 278
Location: spaceship
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| Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 5:35 am Post subject: |
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| Hazelwudi wrote: | | It still involves a base lack of understanding about the world that boggles the mind. I'm absolutely astounded at how any woman could live much past 18 and not have developed somewhat of a seige mentality in this area. |
well. aren't you lucky.
i think your forgetting about the countless number of women who have come from broken and abusive homes.
women living in impoverished conditions, who have little access to resources that could help enlighten them as to how to help themselves get better.
you're overlooking a spectrum of possibile causes for why some women stay in abusive relationships, primarily out of fear.
the basis in which so many people function in order to 'fit in' and be 'normal' in our society.
not everyone was raised the same way, or instilled with values and appropriate understanding of relationships.
in your previous posts, it seems as if you are implying that I am personally impaired beyond what is deemed acceptable for a woman (my or any age) to be or have been.
sadly, i respect much of your thoughts and arguments on this board. this has altered my perception of your level of 'understanding/empathy' for woman-kind.
fortunatly, you had the insight, or wherewithal to know not to put yourself in comprimising circumstances.
not everyone is granted those options all the time.
_________________
"To be or not to be" that is the question.-Willy Shakey |
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blackdove
Toucan
Joined: Nov 22, 2005
Age: 30
Posts: 278
Location: spaceship
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| Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:05 am Post subject: |
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scrapping everything that i just posted. (hypothetically)
what about women who enjoy physical abuse?
the types who will stay in physically/psychologically abusive relationships even though
they 'know better'.
i've known some pretty intelligent women who've exposed themselves to this kind of violence and destruction, yet continue to stay with thier significant-ly-useless other.
how can some women be so 'smart' yet so 'pathetic'?
especially those who speak of 'equal rights' and 'woman's worth'
ironically, it seems that these women (whom i've known) are continually attracted to or
stuck with these type of men. VVV
it doesn't seem to make sense to me.
the uber-intelligent ART girl who wants the alpha-male dominant type, but gets stuck with quasi-femme she-man who can't move out of thier homes because of thier privileged upbringing.
i've experienced my fair share of socially inflicted drama, and some of the people i have known to be the most 'liberal thinking' and 'assertive' with thier convictions end up contradicting themselves or betraying thier ideals continuously.
the world isn't fair. get over it. some people have taken opportunities and made the most of what was available to them.
if you profess that 'people who are like such and such, should or shouldn't have this or that, i deserve it more' blah blah blah.
then you are only fooling yourself.
working hard, does not gaurantee a happy, fullfilled life. because you are better at something, it doesn't mean that people will like it more, or care about it.
if your true nature is to derive most if not all of your pleasure from watching other people fall to the wayside, and you supposedly rise, then expect to get what you give.
it just proves that you are THAT insecure and phony to overreact to other people's misery or happiness.
superficially congratulating, internally despising.
the 'truth talk' could never exist in society. as it is.
filtration is a necessary 'evil'.
education of the self of upmost importance, sure.
but as all things in this world. there is a spectrum.
varying degrees of 'truth' and 'reality'
as it is known to be.
we can only speculate as to what is really 'known'
for all information is produced, and subjectified.
i feel fantastically wonderful for sharing my 'insight' and 'anecdotal experiences' on this site, especially when they can be so readily dissected and moralized.
_________________
"To be or not to be" that is the question.-Willy Shakey |
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Hazelwudi
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2006
Posts: 521
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| Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 9:31 am Post subject: |
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| blackdove wrote: | | well. aren't you lucky. |
Not particularly.
| Quote: | | i think your forgetting about the countless number of women who have come from broken and abusive homes. |
And what makes you think I did not? For me, it was all the more reason to be careful and to not take sh** off anyone. I knew that if I didn't look out for myself I wasn't going to be looked out for, and I learned that far sooner in life than anyone should really have to.
I think what hamstrings a lot of women is that in spite of everything, they still rely on others to give them their self-worth. Therefore, instead of standing up for themselves, they try to placate, mollify, and otherwise "earn" the love they're not getting.
| Quote: | | not everyone was raised the same way, or instilled with values and appropriate understanding of relationships. |
And you think I was? When I was growing up, my father was an authoritarian german catholic hardass of the old school. My mother was on medication for depression and anxiety, and was still an emotional basket case the majority of the time in spite of it... and on top of that, had an apoplectic scotch-irish temper.
Do you imagine there was peace and tranquility, in the home of Little Hazel? There most certainly was not. Even when they were not arguing (or taking it out on me) things were... interesting, to say the least. I remember one night, she was so tired of him reading the newspaper when he got home rather than talking to her that she went up and set it on fire.
Yes, in the family room.
Yes, with him sitting there and reading it.
My family life was conflict-ridden and somewhat bizarre to say the least, but I was capable of learning from a bad example... i.e. me as a child observing a particular interaction between my own perpetually arguing parents and thinking: "Ok, this pattern of interaction is obviously dysfunctional bullshit... so when I'm older and get a man I'm not going to do it this way."
Eventually, my list of "Ok, this is obviously bullshit, I'm not doing this." became so long and detailed that a way to doing it better was revealed by simple process of elimination.
| Quote: | | in your previous posts, it seems as if you are implying that I am personally impaired beyond what is deemed acceptable for a woman (my or any age) to be or have been. |
Allowing others to determine your self-worth is sadly very common in females.... if anything, I'm the anomaly here, not you. lol.
| Quote: | | sadly, i respect much of your thoughts and arguments on this board. this has altered my perception of your level of 'understanding/empathy' for woman-kind. |
Due to my own characteristics, it is virtually impossible for me to get "emotionally fuzzy-wuzzy" with those who allow others to determine their own self-worth, yes. This is partially why I tend to simply not get along with most women. Even in real life, the vast majority of my friends are male.
| Quote: | | fortunatly, you had the insight, or wherewithal to know not to put yourself in comprimising circumstances. not everyone is granted those options all the time. |
They still harbor the illusion that people "should" care. Shoulds and oughts are a fine thing... but I prefer to live in the world of "can" and "does". I find most people flat-out incapable of giving a damn about anyone other than themselves in the final analysis, and when you're dealing with someone like that, expecting them to change is folly. Their first, last, and middling priorities are the same, and will always be the same... "What's in it for me?" |
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Mitch8817
The Equalizer
Joined: Apr 04, 2006
Posts: 2127
Location: Victoria, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:53 am Post subject: |
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| Anyone have statistics on female rapists? Is it so common with men because they are to one's who have the 'tool' as it were, whereas the woman lacks this kind of 'power' (if you get me - you know, to insert, which implies a dominance to me). Or is it the testostirone? Furthermore, if it is true that women require less sex than men, why is that? |
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Scintillate
Everything and Nothing
Joined: Oct 05, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 1274
Location: Perth
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| Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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Wow there are so many forms and methods of abuse, through others, and from the self.
My ex lets herself be used by guys (sometimes 2 at a time) as a way to get back at herself, and to get back at me, for the pain.
She was raped, at 14 years old, so I think this contributes to it hugely, I think no matter what she achieves, no matter the love we shared, if me and her have a problem she instantly needs to find solace in being used...
Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I've met minds who treated themself worse though.
Every woman I've known wanted more sex than me, but maybe this was because I was quiet and sometimes far away in thoughts, sex was a method of communicating. Generally though sex became a sort of unspoken threat... ie: be bad to me and another will be using me that way..
I do think testosterone plays a part in rape, but there has to be a point, of choice:
Where someone says no and you continue anyway..
Maybe some rapes occur due to bursts and explosions of anger, though sadly I think most are premeditated or loosely planned.
My ex also had a problem with saying no, she was upset over me and her breaking up (for the umpteenth time) and so she went over her sisters house.. She was invited over for a session with two guys (5-6 years older). They decided to "enjoy her" all night, and she said she didn't even want to (she wouldn't lie, she has told me worse) but couldn't even say anything because she was afraid.. She said after hours she was exhausted and claimed she needed to sleep but they continued anyway.
Is this rape?
Generally what she went through is considered normal, in fact she herself referred to it as a 3some, something she didn't want, but is fine anyway..
I must say telling this story makes me feel quite sick, the memories of others using her like that continue to plague me everyday despite my waning obsession with her.
Anyway, female rapists, I've never heard of one...
Excuse the rant-like nature, I'm trying to get over her, and I'm continually seeing the last fight we had, I'm continually seeing her being used like a cheap whore, when in fact she is a beautiful, intelligent person.
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All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine! |
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