| Can aspies be truly bi-gendered? |
| Yes, even if aspergers is a defining contribution, any person who is female one day and male the next is bi-gendered! |
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89% |
[ 61 ] |
| No, it's just another aspie quirk |
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10% |
[ 7 ] |
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| Total Votes : 68 |
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MoralAnimal
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 31, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 44
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 Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 12:21 am Post subject: |
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I have struggled with feeling like I am male and female my whole life. I recently came to terms with the fact that sometimes I feel male, sometimes female, but usually I don't feel like I am either. Its not that I am "genderless" but that I am mostly a "third gender". I am 23 and was just diagnosed with Aspergers. I have been rather shocked by all the things in my life that are "explained". Such as my odd gait, feeling like I am stupid when my IQ is high, not being able to process gluten or casein, social problems, my bipolarism and mood disorders, and sensory overloads. Gender issues, however surprises me. I'm kinda glad that there are other people out there like me and i'm not that weird or odd after all.
I spend a lot of time at the bigender form.... bigender. org. we always welcome the addition of new people that share this rare gift.  |
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Kiseki
I just ran out of Band-Aids
Joined: May 30, 2010
Age: 33
Posts: 1604
Location: Osaka JP
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| Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 12:46 am Post subject: |
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| Halvorson wrote: | | I think I should state the obvious: Aspergers appears to be strongly correlated with trans-gender feelings- in girls. One of the most popular general autism theories is that of Simon-Baron Cohen (he's Borat's cousin), who sees autism as a result of an extreme male brain, one geared towards systemizing instead of empathisizing. He's long been trying to test the idea that this extreme male brain is the result of heavy prenatal exposure to testosterone, which presumably "masculinizes" the fetal brain and has found some sketchy support. I wonder if we could find any gay/trans-gender male aspies that would prove Cohen wrong. |
I don't know about transgender, but I DO believe there is more of a proliferation of gay/bi/bi-curiousity in female Aspies than NT. I think it also has to do with the levels of testosterone produced in the womb. Autism is significantly more of a male-brain phenomenon and it might be interesting to note the number of straight female Aspies vs. LGBT. |
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jdcnosse
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 13, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 613
Location: Tucson
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| Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:12 am Post subject: |
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I'm bi-gendered, although I do like the term androgen better. I realized this when my mother told me it wasn't socially acceptable for a guy to wear womens thongs and jeans. I then researched it and the "gender and sex" topic is one of my "interests." lol
However I was also born with Cryptorchidism. Basically neither of my testicles descended at birth like they were supposed to and I had to have a double orchiopexy. This might be part of why I'm bi-gendered, as perhaps I have less testosterone then normal males do... |
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Rat_Barzane
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 09, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 52
Location: West Australia
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| Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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I think I am bi-gendered, or androgen, whatever the term is.. Perhaps we need a list of definitions? lol
Born female, but always, as a child and adolescent wanted to be a boy.. Fitted in better with the boys, played with the toys and participated in many of the activities which are considered masculine... Never wear makeup, wear mostly mens clothing.. Hated my developing breasts!
Never got on with most girls, except those who are a bit 'strange' also 
I'm also a lesbian but it took me a while to figure out, my interest in sex came along quite late, and not really knowing about sexual orientation I had some difficulties and went through an experimental stage.. I had big problems during adolescence because the guys I wanted to be friends with, playfight with etc always seemed to want a relationship, or think I wanted one.. As a result I even now have very few male friends since they always seem to become attracted to me. I also don't have many female friends because the average female thinks I'm a freak due to my introversion and crappy social skills (what the hell is with the small talk stuff anyway?)... I'm lucky though in that I have managed to form a small group of similar-minded friends.
Some of my confusion as a teenager was caused by thinking I was attracted to men, but I didn't want intimacy with them.. now looking back I see it was not that I wanted to be *with* them... It was that I wanted to *be* them
I have often in the past considered having a sex change, since it caused me much depression.. But nowdays.. Well, while I think life might be easier in some ways for me as a man, and most of my friends think of me as a male (one of my ex-housemates commented when i complained about period pain "Oh! I forgot your a girl!" lol).. I have come to terms with it and can live with it. Somewhere along the line I even found a little bit of feminine in me which shows through occasionally. I think I am predominantly masculine, but sometimes I switch for a day or so, just for fun  |
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Lirael
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 11, 2009
Age: 40
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 10:42 am Post subject: |
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| Born female, but am still figuring out my gender. Have both femine and male traits, so I feel more happy with 'androgyne'. The whole gender issue is in my case complicated because, my built, and partly clothes, meant, that throughout my childhood (and now) I was often seen as a boy... even in summer clothes after puberty kicked in (yep, have a clearly feminine build). The extreme cases: Being send away from the women's toilet and a bra-shop. The other thing that didn't help, was that my mother ridiculed femininity, like wanting to wear a skirt. |
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Draax
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 35
Location: Bridgeville, PA
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| Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 12:02 am Post subject: |
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| Halvorson wrote: | | I wonder if we could find any gay/trans-gender male aspies that would prove Cohen wrong. |
i was born male and still am, bodily. for most of my 28 years i have suppressed my desire to be a girl. i dont anymore and have started seeing a therapist to begin the transition to female. the day when i can pass for female and be accepted as such will be the highest point of my life. though i have only recently stopped denying who i am, and only more recently still, started seeing a therapist about it, a moment in my first session with her will stay with me a long time:
i expressed concern to her that my case would be dismissed out of hand because i have aspergers syndrome and my trans feelings would be attributed to nothing more than an aspie fixation. she said that concern was unwarranted and went on to tell me that the center that i go to has seen quite a few transgendered aspies who have gone on to make a full and quite healthy transition. she also implied that gender issues are not only not unusual but are quite common in people with aspergers.
i hope the people who read this (and i've gathered that some/most of you do) that there is a very distinct diference between physical sex (presence of male or female genitals), sexual orientation, and gender identity. i have also seen mention of the gender identity spectrum, which i think i will now be forced to make my own poll of.
as a simple, but not at all diffinative way of testing your own gender identity, think about this mental exercise, and think carefully:
you wake up tomorrow and find that you have the body of the opposite sex, how would that make you feel? (dont think about what you would do, think about how you would FEEL)
if that happened to me, i would feel fantastic in a way that words could not describe; when i asked my roommate the same question (and he is a very masculine man), his immediate answer was that he would want to kill himself.
as a final note, im sure most of you are familiar with aspergian obsessions/fixations; one of mine is sexology. my therapist has said to me on several ocassions that this is an enormous boon in the therapy process because i can phrase my feelings in clinical ways that leave no amiguity as to their meaning. and in furtherance, my interest in sexology was spawned by my desire to be a woman, not the other way around.
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Draax, Evil Genius |
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alice333
Hummingbird
Joined: Oct 28, 2010
Posts: 21
Location: UK.
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| Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:37 am Post subject: |
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| I realize now that I don't need to be ashamed or try desperately to suppress my self in all aspects , I can be myself, an Asperger's person who feels very Androgynous. I have grown up a lot and I am much stronger. |
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keerawa
Snowy Owl
Joined: May 24, 2009
Posts: 129
Location: Seattle
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| Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 2:56 am Post subject: |
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I identify as gender-queer, myself. For me, 'gender-queer' is a way of saying "Male, Female, Tomato, Tomahto, let's call the whole thing off."
I've got breasts, and a vagina, and I'm perfectly happy with my body as is. But I can't fit myself into the female 'box'. When there's a discussion that breaks down along gender-lines, I always seem to end up 'one of the guys'. I was always a 'tom-boy', growing up. But I wouldn't consider myself masculine, either. Nor do I switch from a masculine to feminine gender identity based on the situation. I'm just always ... me. |
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Matariki
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 24, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 28
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| Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:18 am Post subject: |
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I'm a male, in a female's body. 
I've been diagnosed with GID, but I'm fairly happy. I'm just me.
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"I am different, not less " - Temple Grandin |
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Ad
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 15, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 45
Location: Blackpool, UK
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| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:35 am Post subject: |
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I am physically/biologically male and have felt Bigender since childhood.
As a child I didn't understand my gender well, but I would shift between stereotypes and later seperated into two "persona's" |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28105
Location: California
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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I just tell everyone I am duel gendered. Sometimes I will express my female side more, and other times I express my maleness more.
An Aspie quirk? IDK about that. It seems to be more prevalent for those with Aspergers but it by no means is exclusive.
_________________
Do you bury me when I'm gone?
Do you teach me while I'm here?
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10197
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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I feel like the opposite, like I'm neither.
I don't feel like I have a gender, although I spent a long time trying to emulate it. I still like some of the trappings. |
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Noxien
Emu Egg
Joined: May 04, 2011
Posts: 6
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I often feel genderless, but there are moments in which I feel very masculine or very feminine. I can be all over the board with this, so I try not to pay much attention to accepted gender definitions. |
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Quartz11
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 07, 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 2237
Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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I guess I might consider myself a middle of the road type of person. I really don't understand the whole dual gender thing, but it just seems to me I'm not the typical male and do have some female-ish traits and thoughts. I'm still trying to sort through all that madness in my brain.
Anyway, there have been a lot of times however - and especially in the last year or so - where I wish I was physically a female. At least having a strong curiosity of what it'd be like anyway. |
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