iheartmegahitt
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 10, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!
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 Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:41 pm Post subject: Do your parents understand you and your AS? |
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For me, mine do... to an extent. I mean there are times when they don't realize my routine. I have a routine where I have to be on my laptop all of the time. If I'm not then I get upset. If the power goes out or the internet dies, they get angry with me and say I'm being dramatic because I meltdown.
Other times, with my mom, she doesn't understand that when I'm in my room... I don't want to be bothered. She comes into my room and its like, a stranger invading a dog's territory. So the dog attacks, right? With me, I will yell at her to get out of my room or go away.
My parents are somewhat understanding, and they do try to understand what I am going through... but most of the time I think they believe I'm just acting like a brat or acting out... or just being over dramatic. It's hard because like, if I want something, like an anime plushie, I meltdown. I don't do it just to through a temper tantrum but because my mind shuts down and only thinks of that one thing in mind.
My parents don't realize how much harder it is for me to fight for myself just as it is for them to fight for me too. It's like when I have something to say, my mind goes in lockdown and I'm standing their like an idiot trying to figure what I want to tell them.
So, what about your parents, do they understand you and your Asperger Syndrome?
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Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive |
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USMCnBNSFdude
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 30, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 841
Location: Glennock, Sodor
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes they do. Especially my Mom. She's dealt with autistic kids before and knew a lot of parents with aspergic kids before I was diagnosed. |
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iheartmegahitt
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 10, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 784
Location: My own little world - No outsiders allowed!
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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| USMCnBNSFdude wrote: | | Yes they do. Especially my Mom. She's dealt with autistic kids before and knew a lot of parents with aspergic kids before I was diagnosed. |
Wow, you're lucky. Sometimes I wish my mom could understand me. I mean I don't hate her for not its just sometimes she gets on my nerves and me and her end up arguing a lot because of it. She has some autistic traits as well and yet we still fight like sisters. She's supportive yet doesn't seem to understand the true nature of autism... yet she is the type to defend me in public situations and also speak for me... because she knows when I get distressed and she'll stick up and say, "Hey look, she has autism, ADHD and a learning disability... and has a hard time with communication... so if you have anything to ask her, you can ask me instead."
There was one time when my teacher was being a b***h to me and always nitpicked me for my hair (it was very short and curly... so it looked messy and my teacher complained) and other things that bothered me... because I had meltdowns all the time in life skills and I was being pressured too... so guess what my mom does? She calls up the school, right? TWO principals go and see that teacher and talk to her about the way I was getting treated. My teacher calls my mom and tells her that she has never had a parent do that to her before in her life.
So yeah, my mom will put up a fight if she knows I am suffering from those around me. It's just times when she doesn't understand me at home that is the problem.
_________________
Diagnosed with an autistic disorder (Not AS but mild to moderate classic Autism), ADHD, Learning Disability, intellectual disability and severe anxiety (part of the autism); iPad user; written expressionist; emotionally-sensitive |
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pree10shun
daydreamer
Joined: May 30, 2011
Posts: 1659
Location: Everywhere
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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| My mom has aspergers too and hates it when I take time off during the holidays and am doing nothing but watching TV or playing with the dog for a few days... She want's me to go do something productive and has this excessive urge to control me... I tell her I am feeling burnt out and I need time to do nothing and she says go join a yoga class or go to the gym or exercise your brain through puzzles or sudoku etc etc causing me only to stress out further than see it from my point of view... i.e, I wan't nothing social or even productive just some alone time at a familiar place "home".. I've my own ways of dealing with things... but she doesn't trust my ways... |
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AdamBacon
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 01, 2011
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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I am a parent of 4 year old autistic child.
I want to understand and accept my son as who he is.
He is still young, so I know we will go through a lot, but I will try my best.
I want to try my best because I am the only father that he has. |
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Simmian7
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 23, 2008
Posts: 842
Location: Motown
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:37 pm Post subject: Re: Do your parents understand you and your AS? |
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| iheartmegahitt wrote: | For me, mine do... to an extent. I mean there are times when they don't realize my routine. I have a routine where I have to be on my laptop all of the time. If I'm not then I get upset. If the power goes out or the internet dies, they get angry with me and say I'm being dramatic because I meltdown.
Other times, with my mom, she doesn't understand that when I'm in my room... I don't want to be bothered. She comes into my room and its like, a stranger invading a dog's territory. So the dog attacks, right? With me, I will yell at her to get out of my room or go away.
My parents are somewhat understanding, and they do try to understand what I am going through... but most of the time I think they believe I'm just acting like a brat or acting out... or just being over dramatic. It's hard because like, if I want something, like an anime plushie, I meltdown. I don't do it just to through a temper tantrum but because my mind shuts down and only thinks of that one thing in mind.
My parents don't realize how much harder it is for me to fight for myself just as it is for them to fight for me too. It's like when I have something to say, my mind goes in lockdown and I'm standing their like an idiot trying to figure what I want to tell them.
So, what about your parents, do they understand you and your Asperger Syndrome? |
that sounds like me!! ^_^
sometimes they completely forget that i am on a different path than them. there is a OVERWHELMING difference between me and my younger brother. he is VERY social...i am not.
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*Christina*
It's like someone's calling out to me. Writing it all down...it's like I'm calling back to them.
(quote from August Rush; but used as a reference to my writing) |
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SammichEater
Now 30% Cooler
Joined: Mar 07, 2011
Age: 19
Posts: 3823
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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My parents try, but they will never truly understand.
While I know that they try to accept me for who I am, it is obviously very hard for them, although they have been getting better at it. |
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wefunction
Christian Soccer Mom
Joined: Jan 05, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 2486
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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My parents never knew. I was close to my dad but I didn't consider it important enough to tell him when I could use our phone time to tell him about his grandkids and fun stuff going on. I knew I had his love and support in all things. I wanted to concentrate on our phone calls being an uplifting and happy experience for him. Honestly, unless a parent is also a friend, I don't see any point in you, as an adult, sharing your personal life with your parents. It just seems like it's asking for heartache.
I obviously know that my aspie son has aspergers and because we share the diagnosis, supporting and advocating for him has been very easy. I understand him and he also understands me, especially about the things that no one else will ever get. It's pretty cool. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13669
Location: My house
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:10 am Post subject: |
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| Yes but they still got mad at me for how I'd act. |
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9931
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:07 am Post subject: |
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I wouldn't wish my mom on any Aspie. She swings wildly from "You poor thing; you can't be expected to go to college; come home and live with me," to "Don't be a hypochondriac; you're not really disabled, you're just lazy and dramatic." It's like she can't get the concept that it's ever possible for someone to be disabled and competent at the same time. It really gets on my nerves because whichever way she goes, she's either insisting that something which is a huge part of me doesn't exist, or else putting me down for it and assuming it must necessarily make my life horrible and me incapable of anything useful.
One of my greatest fears is that I'll one day have to go home and live with her again.
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Engineering & Psychology student. Gamer. Christian. Asexual. Information Addict. Deal with it!
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com |
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Tantricbadass
Blue Jay
Joined: May 24, 2011
Posts: 88
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:11 am Post subject: |
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| No, I do think that ever looked anything about it. |
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samsa
Toucan
Joined: Nov 06, 2010
Posts: 282
Location: Canberra, Australia
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:27 am Post subject: |
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My mum seems to think that anyone who's on the autism spectrum must be low-functioning, and reacted poorly when I told her that I thought I might have a very mild form of AS. Annoying, but I don't blame her.
(She's also one of those types who hates 'labels' being put on children, which is naive at best.)
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"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus |
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Yameretzu
Sea Gull
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Posts: 248
Location: UK
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 11:47 am Post subject: |
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| My mother thinks she does but she is far from it, I'm 21, married and have lived away from home for 3 years and I'm honestly a lot happier. My husband has taken time to understand my aspieness and when I have problems he calls them my aspie/autism moments and just asks me and then just deals with it. But at home I used to clash at home all of the time because my mother didn't always understand when I was having a moment and then reacted badly, or a sort of selective choice where I was disabled when she thought I was but was just being difficult at other times. But we were given no support and she was a single parent so I don't blame her. I just like having my own space where I can act how I want and be comfortable. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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My parents are very good, and have been extra supportive ever since I got diagnosed at age 8. Many thanks to my parents, and anyone here who badmouths my parents are being nasty. (There is a thread here where somebody here badmouthed my parents once, all because I said my parents wish I didn't have a disability. It's nobody else's business what my parents think. To me they've been great and they love me).
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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howzat
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 1778
Location: Hornsey North London
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| Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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| My parents are quite reasonable with me and understand about my aspergers sometimes i have ups and downs due to my routines and problems in crowded places such as the supermarket but overall they accept me for who i am. |
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