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Ai_Ling
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10 Jun 2011, 4:36 am

Can someone explain to me why that is offensive?

Edit: Why is more offensive for a girl to call a straight guy gay? vs another guy calling him gay?



Last edited by Ai_Ling on 10 Jun 2011, 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

izzeme
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10 Jun 2011, 6:08 am

probarbly becouse the popular types are afraid to be questioned about their sexuality, or they are unsure about themselves.
i myself have been called gay before, but since i'm sure i am not, i just let it slide right off and let them have their little fun thinking what they want to.



Keeno
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10 Jun 2011, 10:34 am

I wouldn't think it's the popular types who are more likely to be questioned (at least earnestly) about their sexuality, because they're going to be more successful in relationships. Which makes them less vulnerable to being accused of being gay. Calling a straight guy gay is offensive because it can be a particularly dishonourable way of insinuating that the person is an outcast, that he cannot function in what's perceived to be a happy, healthy, normal way, including in his mating and sexual behaviour. It can be a suggestion that he's satisfying his sexual desires in what's perceived to be an abnormal way, such as homosexuality, and guys less successful in relationships are more likely to get such insinuations. And despite where we've got to as a society, gays still come under a lot of persecution, therefore it's a way of wishing ill will towards the person.



Jory
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10 Jun 2011, 11:40 am

Do you really need it explained? It's offensive because it's meant as an insult and implies that homosexuality is a bad thing. It's insulting to both gay people and the straight guy being insulted. Nobody ever calls a straight guy gay and means it as a compliment.



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10 Jun 2011, 12:52 pm

Sometimes people use the word "gay" as if it were synonymous with the word "stupid".



Ai_Ling
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10 Jun 2011, 6:39 pm

Jory wrote:
Do you really need it explained? It's offensive because it's meant as an insult and implies that homosexuality is a bad thing. It's insulting to both gay people and the straight guy being insulted. Nobody ever calls a straight guy gay and means it as a compliment.


Perhaps I just want to know more the specificities of why its more offensive for a girl to call a straight guy gay then another guy to call the straight guy gay.



Jory
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10 Jun 2011, 7:10 pm

It's not, in any way I can see.



GoatOnFire
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11 Jun 2011, 1:07 am

Ai_Ling wrote:
Can someone explain to me why that is offensive?

Edit: Why is more offensive for a girl to call a straight guy gay? vs another guy calling him gay?

If the guy is single then it is not a good sign for your dating prospects that a girl would mistake you for being gay.

But if it comes from a guy it doesn't matter so much because you are straight and not potentially looking to date a guy. And guys are more prone to speculation of sexuality than women so when a woman does it it carries more weight.


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Ai_Ling
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11 Jun 2011, 4:48 am

GoatOnFire wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
Can someone explain to me why that is offensive?

Edit: Why is more offensive for a girl to call a straight guy gay? vs another guy calling him gay?

If the guy is single then it is not a good sign for your dating prospects that a girl would mistake you for being gay.

But if it comes from a guy it doesn't matter so much because you are straight and not potentially looking to date a guy. And guys are more prone to speculation of sexuality than women so when a woman does it it carries more weight.


Oh ok, so does it make a difference how offensive a guy finds it depending on how attractive he finds the girl. Say a girl who's completely unattractive to them calls them gay vs a girl who their attracted to calls them gay. Is he more likely to get offended if he likes the girl.



Simonono
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11 Jun 2011, 4:56 am

Because they don't understand that I am straight, just terrified of girls at the same time.



GoatOnFire
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11 Jun 2011, 12:26 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
GoatOnFire wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
Can someone explain to me why that is offensive?

Edit: Why is more offensive for a girl to call a straight guy gay? vs another guy calling him gay?

If the guy is single then it is not a good sign for your dating prospects that a girl would mistake you for being gay.

But if it comes from a guy it doesn't matter so much because you are straight and not potentially looking to date a guy. And guys are more prone to speculation of sexuality than women so when a woman does it it carries more weight.


Oh ok, so does it make a difference how offensive a guy finds it depending on how attractive he finds the girl. Say a girl who's completely unattractive to them calls them gay vs a girl who their attracted to calls them gay. Is he more likely to get offended if he likes the girl.

Quite possibly, but the fact alone that it is coming from a girl is worrisome.


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11 Jun 2011, 6:54 pm

its super offensive coming from a girl because that means they obviously don't view you as masculine in anyway.

If another guy calls you gay, hes just trying to insult you but when a girl thinks your gay....well that means you failed in acting/looking like a heterosexual male and thus not even attractive to them....which as a straight male is pretty much the basis for your existance- to get married and reproduce.



Last edited by tangomike on 12 Jun 2011, 1:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ai_Ling
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12 Jun 2011, 1:28 am

Ok this kinda makes sense because my guy friend got mad at me for calling him gay and I was just joking around. It was online so I had at first thought he misconstrued that I was kidding so I sent him a message explaining that i was mostly a dumb joke and that didnt help. Later we talked on the phone and he said he found it offensive. And I thought several days later wondering why because he rarely takes offensive to much of anything. I didn't ask because NTs tend to find it weird if u stay stuck on the subject and bring things up days later after its supposedly settled.



Imapanda
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12 Jun 2011, 2:17 am

OP must be one surprised individual once he/she finds out what 'bros' often do when they're bored in a cramped room.



Ai_Ling
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12 Jun 2011, 2:52 am

Imapanda wrote:
OP must be one surprised individual once he/she finds out what 'bros' often do when they're bored in a cramped room.


whats that suppose to mean? Be specific...I probably know a hell of a lot more then you think I do.