wanderlust
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:49 pm Post subject: Being called sweetie, sweetheart, baby, etc. by strangers |
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Hi All,
I was just wondering if any of you notice being called affectionate terms like sweetie, sweetheart, babe, honey, etc., by complete strangers? For instance, cashiers in supermarkets, baristas, guy stocking the shelves in 7/11, bus drivers....
I get this all the time. I'm 39, and 4/5 times, the person appears to be younger than me and is female. I feel a bit squeamish when this happens, but also find it kind of comforting.
I first started to really notice in 2001, and I was curious why I felt funny about it... so I started watching to see if it happened to everyone around me, and it doesn't.
Last night, at 7/11, the male cashier kept calling me sweetie and told me to "be careful out there" when I left. The woman in front of me and the woman behind me got no such comment. (I lingered at the newspapers by the door so I could eavesdrop.)
I still feel like a vulnerable and somewhat damaged little girl inside, and it almost feels like they can "see" me.
Anyone else experience this feeling? |
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Aimless
innocent bystander
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 8158
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| Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, the people who call me hon, babe, sweetie etc. are usually women. I find it slightly irritating when a woman younger than me does it, but generally I don't worry about it. If it was in a professional setting by a superior I might feel differently but I don't think the cashier at the grocery store is trying to power trip me.
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BillyIdolFan217
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 09, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 612
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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First off let me say that 7/11 is one of my obsessions!!!!! LOL!!!! I love that store!
Anyway a boy my age I met here on WrongPlanet that I started talking to on twitter and eventually gave him my cell phone number kept calling me those names and I didn't like it at all! I finally told him to please stop because it made me feel uncomfortable and feel like we were in a relationship and I don't want one ATM. He respected that and stopped. I do like him as a friend though. I am into older men (way older) and IDC if a middle aged or old man called me those names for some reason. I don't mind If a woman or somebody I knew for most of my life called me that though.
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Stephanie Idol
Billy Idol fan 4 life! |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87144
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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kahlua
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 342
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:44 am Post subject: |
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| love and darl are quite common. I must give off helpless vibes or something. |
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wanderlust
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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That's what I'm wondering... do I really seem that young or naive or something? I know it's not because I look that young....
It doesn't bother me anymore, but the fact that it seems to happen so often makes me think it is definitely something about me.
*shrug* |
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LornaDoone
Sea Gull
Joined: Jul 24, 2011
Posts: 201
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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I hate it. I don't like how those terms are being used so commonly. It's like they don't mean really anything anymore. I will challenge someone who calls me "hon".. especially at the supermarket. Excuse me? Do I know you?
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7year old girl with ADD, but has been very manageable
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Ancalagon
Computer Geek
Joined: Dec 26, 2007
Posts: 2387
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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| wanderlust wrote: | | That's what I'm wondering... do I really seem that young or naive or something? I know it's not because I look that young.... |
I get called 'sweetie' or 'dear' sometimes and I'm a man. Probably that's just what that person calls people they don't know.
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"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it." --G. K. Chesterton |
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YoshiPikachu
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 31, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 671
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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I have a friend that does that with out realizing it.
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Proud mother to toddler Hannah. |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1831
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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| I dont really care for it, to me it seems very tacky |
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paperoceans
Raven
Joined: Jun 25, 2011
Posts: 101
Location: San Diego, CA
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:20 pm Post subject: |
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| It doesn't really bother me, but then I'm from the deep South. People over there call you sweetie, etc. all the time. I've never been called babe or baby before by anyone else but a boyfriend--that's a bit weird. |
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sagan
Rrraaa
Joined: Jan 21, 2011
Age: 100
Posts: 1787
Location: Land of the Lost
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| Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:07 am Post subject: |
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I get sweetie a lot, but in a weird way.
Sort of how you would talk to a child, like you are so proud at them for acting all grown up. Im 24, so this always seems odd.
I guess maybe its the whole wide eyes, vacant expression, innocent stare thing that makes me seem younger / mentally incompetent.
Hehe I have no idea. Maybe its normal and they do it to everyone... But god, have I wondered.
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28105
Location: California
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| Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:25 am Post subject: |
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Strangers have stopped talking to me. However, when some still did I would get sweetheart and honey a lot. The only time any of these bothered me was when it was used condescendingly or if some creeper was trying to pick me up.
I wish I knew why strangers have stopped talking to me so I could be sure to keep doing it. 
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Do you bury me when I'm gone?
Do you teach me while I'm here?
Just as soon as I belong
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Mummy_of_Peanut
Countess de Noir
Joined: Feb 21, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 3474
Location: Bonnie Scotland
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:36 am Post subject: |
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My boss used to call me and the very young members of staff 'doll'. I was a married woman, in my 30s, for goodness sake. It just confirmed that she thought of me as a youngster and didn't take me seriously.
My husband's old boss (a bit of a creep, always having affairs) called me 'honey'. I was so taken aback and I said, 'What?', quite abruptly. He recoiled and spoke again, without using the term. I think he was really embarrassed.
One term of endearment, in this neck of the woods, which I find acceptable is 'hen'. Any woman or girl, as long as they are younger than the person speaking, might be called that. It's a compliment if you know you are actually older than them, but they've just assumed you were younger (maybe it wouldn't be to many on here, as it happens so often to us). A man or boy might be called 'son'. |
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CaroleTucson
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2009
Age: 48
Posts: 731
Location: Tucson, AZ
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:01 am Post subject: |
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| I think these terms are a little weird coming from strangers, but it doesn't bother me too much. I mean, they're strangers ... presumably this is a just a fleeting encounter and I'll never see them again. |
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