Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1834
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 Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:25 pm Post subject: Aspie females and dating |
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It sometimes frustrates me that whenever articles discuss autism/aspergers and dating its always about aspie men and NT females. The only thing Ive ever read addressing aspie females and dating is a section out of aspergirls. I cant really draw out much perspective from that cause female aspies/NT male relationships are much different then aspie male/NT female relationships. Or I would think.
I just typed in a google search for autism and dating. And all the references were about AS male/NT female. |
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Tequila
Trust the people!
Joined: Feb 26, 2006
Posts: 26053
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't know any Aspie women in real life. Perhaps they only exist on the Interweb. |
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Fnord
Enigmatic Threadkilling Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 17898
Location: Stendec
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Tequila wrote: | | I don't know any Aspie women in real life... |
Ditto. Perhaps those who exist in the RW are less affected by AS than their male counterparts ... ?
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* Believing that you're worthless allows the comfort of having something to complain about without the discomfort of having to change. |
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JohnOldman
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 31, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 448
Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Rudy Simone is coming out with a whole book that's meant to teach NT men how to understand their Aspergirl partner. |
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JohnOldman
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 31, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 448
Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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| There's an excerpt here. |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1834
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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| oh sweet. I'd wanna read the book. I kinda wanted a book/articles, directed at aspie females in how to navigate the dating world. |
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katzefrau
heart of snow
Joined: Apr 12, 2010
Posts: 1833
Location: emerald city
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 7:32 pm Post subject: Re: Aspie females and dating |
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| Ai_Ling wrote: | | It sometimes frustrates me that whenever articles discuss autism/aspergers and dating its always about aspie men and NT females. |
it frustrates me also. but be careful how you present that topic if you venture into L & D with it, or you will be bombarded with men arguing that they have it worse or even that women should have no problem in this area, especially if they're attractive enough to somehow lure in sex partners. some understand, but some are too bitter to recognize that we might have similar issues, that ultimately it is about relating to others or being able to determine what behavior is expected of us or what result anything has that we do or say. and there is also the added safety issue with women who can't read someone's intention properly. it's no small issue.
| JohnOldman wrote: | | Rudy Simone is coming out with a whole book that's meant to teach NT men how to understand their Aspergirl partner. |
great news. i hope men actually read it. i'll leave it surreptitiously everywhere .. with pages propped open and highlighted ..
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JohnOldman
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 31, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 448
Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:47 pm Post subject: Re: Aspie females and dating |
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| katzefrau wrote: | | JohnOldman wrote: | | Rudy Simone is coming out with a whole book that's meant to teach NT men how to understand their Aspergirl partner. |
great news. i hope men actually read it. i'll leave it surreptitiously everywhere .. with pages propped open and highlighted .. |
I'm going to get it as soon as it's out.
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Tuttle
Not a bird, a turtle.
Joined: Mar 27, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 2593
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:50 am Post subject: |
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I'm having an even harder time with it - I can't find anything for female aspies with aspie partners. Us females are different in some ways than males, even when we're aspies, and aspie/aspie books are even focused on the male side of the relationship.
The Female AS/Male NT book will be a good thing to exist though. I've been sad that it didn't exist. |
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sepia
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 29, 2004
Age: 36
Posts: 361
Location: N.London
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| Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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| me too! where do i find out about this book? |
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buryuntime
oh comely
Joined: Dec 07, 2008
Posts: 3663
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| Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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Yuck.
I don't relate to the excerpt.
Maybe the book will have other chapters more relevant, but I hope the book doesn't center around someone that is 'controlling'. |
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Graelwyn
Myrrdyn
Joined: Dec 21, 2006
Age: 38
Posts: 9107
Location: Hants, Uk
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| Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Tuttle wrote: | | I'm having an even harder time with it - I can't find anything for female aspies with aspie partners. Us females are different in some ways than males, even when we're aspies, and aspie/aspie books are even focused on the male side of the relationship. |
I am finding the same experience, while seeing an Aspergers male, who seems to be far more severe than myself in some areas, whereas I struggle more in different areas...communication seems to be almost impossible.
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AQ - 46/50
Aspie Score - 180/200
NT Score - 24/200 |
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JohnOldman
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 31, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 448
Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)
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| Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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| buryuntime wrote: | | Maybe the book will have other chapters more relevant, but I hope the book doesn't center around someone that is 'controlling'. |
This book is a follow-up to her "22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome." I'm guessing that the excerpt is the only section that covers control issues, and that there will be 21 other entirely different topics covered. |
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katzefrau
heart of snow
Joined: Apr 12, 2010
Posts: 1833
Location: emerald city
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| Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 2:01 am Post subject: |
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| buryuntime wrote: | Yuck.
I don't relate to the excerpt.
Maybe the book will have other chapters more relevant, but I hope the book doesn't center around someone that is 'controlling'. |
i thought the same thing. i liked her books Aspergirls and Aspergers on the Job. but this is the wrong thing to put forward first from the new book. and "control freak" was a bad choice of words on her part.
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Now a penguin may look very strange in a living room, but a living room looks very strange to a penguin. |
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sempertemper
Butterfly
Joined: Jun 05, 2009
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:07 pm Post subject: @tequila |
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Maybe you just didn't recognize them...
As a female aspie, I rarely go out, but if I do, I'd never risk to let anyone find out anything personal about me. When you grow up as a female aspie you're in all likelihood not aware that you even are an aspie, and your chances of being diagnosed - as long as it still counts - are next to nowhere (at least outside of Australia).
So please cut us some slack. |
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