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AnAspie
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 20, 2011
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:07 am Post subject: Peace at 49 |
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| I am going through it now, It took a Divorce and losing contact with my 2 small kids, one of whom has Aspergers to trigger an answer for why I was doing what I was doing. I believe the answer was I had Aspergers. Started researching, Started reading, started testing and yes I found my answer. Only a month or so away from my discovery , the first week or so was incredible joy, peace, tears and forgiveness and almost a "high" with the discovery, then came the sadness and depression at a Life lived with many sad moments and Fear. I have started counseling again this time with I believe finally with a proper diagnosis. Aspergers. I am grateful for this forum and simply typing my thoughts feels wonderful and I will continue to post updates on my progress. I have lived a good life and adapted with the disability, the new information can only be a positive moving forward. |
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techstepscientist
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 52
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:00 am Post subject: |
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I was finally diagnosed a few years ago at the age of 33. MY GP said to me 'what do you hope to get from it?' my reply was 'relief'
In terms of support from the GP or other service, i have heard nothing from either since my diagnoses (which cost me £400). Nevertheless, I did not do it for this, and the support they offer i don't actually need (what i need they don't offer) (I am from the UK).
For years i was trying to work out if i had bi polar, schizophrenia, ADHD, borderline personality disorder and the list goes on. Now i have been diagnosed as a highly functioning aspie. I now know why i am different to other people, why i suffer from excessive anxiety when more people enter the room i am in, why i avoid parties hosted by people i actually like, why i see patterns most people cant get there head around, and why i need downtime when i have been around people in social setting.
If you do not get an official diagnoses you will never actually know. |
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youngdoug
Hummingbird
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 24
Location: United Kingdom
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | it's a puzzle that I'd really like to solve. |
That's a good enough reason.
I was diagnosed at 46. I good thing.
It's not that my life is 'better'. I have less friends, live alone now, am more isolated generally.
People and life are difficult.
But I am so much happier. Bit weird, 'cos I was earning much more, had much more purpose. But it was a constant coping mechanism. Always.
I'm good with studying and copying people when I have to, and had been doing it all my life. Now I don't have to. I have a choice.
That makes me happy...
It's like starting my life anew and it is good. |
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Jediyoda
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 02, 2010
Age: 40
Posts: 345
Location: brisbane queensland australia
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| Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:56 am Post subject: |
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I was diagnosed at 31 and I was relieved to know what was wrong with me. Mum and Dad were happy to know finally after taking me to doctors in the 1970s saying their is something just not right with me and Mum constanly getting turned away they finally found out what was wrong with me they have a peace of mind now and relief.
_________________
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DreamSofa
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 207
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| Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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So many of the points others have made in this thread ring true for me.
When I sought an assessment (I was diagnosed last year) I was asked what I hoped to get from a diagnosis. I wanted an answer: were the difficulties I had experienced all of my life something that I could have control over and change or was it Asperger's? I was hugely relieved - though very sad - to be diagnosed with ASD. Relieved because at last I had an answer that made sense and sad because so much of my life has been a struggle due to this condition.
Knowing that I have the condition makes me more reflective about my behaviour, too. I am now aware of what I am not aware of (if you see what I mean) and can try to make adjustments to compensate. Of course, the down side to that is that I resent NTs for forcing me to change to fit in their world, but that's another story for another thread... |
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qwerty12345
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 10, 2011
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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I was just recently diagnosed at 34. While I was initially glad I finally know why I never had friends or boyfriends and never could "get it", I feel more alone now since I don't drive so I can't attend a group and I can't receive regular counseling because there's no way my job would allow that (unless I disclose my diagnosis...I live in a "right to work" state and they could fire me not for the diagnosis per se but because my availability no longer worked for them and that WOULD be legal). I am hoping to visit the person who diagnosed me maybe once a month or so.
I do worry now that it is time to bury my hopes of marriage and a family (I am black so the odds were against me having a husband anyhow as we are considered the least attractive women in America). I can hopefully at least finish college one day so I can work a non-customer service job (I had a meltdown before I knew what it was a few years ago and almost got fired then but they instead put me on a two month probation). It is sad to know I'm going to have to learn how to "act" and NTs will always be freaked out by me if I crack in my performance.
Sorry to be a downer, this is just my experience so far. |
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johnsmcjohn
ad hominem
Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 1213
Location: Las Vegas
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| Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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| While I would love to be diagnosed, it's purely for peace of mind.(I'm 30 and I very much doubt that a diagnosis would bring me any benefit beyond knowing one way or the other.) For now, I cannot afford it(I'm in the USA without insurance) but when I can, I will. |
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SmallFruitSong
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 18, 2005
Posts: 441
Location: AU
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| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 4:27 am Post subject: |
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I was recently given the official dx at 28. I had suspected it for a while and I remember my psychologist and psychiatrist wrangling over whether I was on the spectrum. I always maintained to them that I wanted to know so that I could further my treatment - were some of my difficulties stemming from Asperger's, or were they coming from schizoaffective? Depending on the source, you would treat the issues differently.
I'm still coming to terms with the official dx, even though I knew for a while that the dx was hanging over my head. I guess I largely feel validation, but also trepidation as to what it means for me in the future. There was also a bit of sadness because I guess I finally know that some of my experiences of the world are unlikely to change; I'm just wired differently from the rest of humanity.
_________________
Said the apple to the orange,
"Oh, I wanted you to come
Close to me and
Kiss me to the core."
Think you're ASD? Get thee to a professional! |
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effzedpilot
Hummingbird
Joined: May 04, 2011
Posts: 23
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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I sought diagnosis at 36 and was told "it would be of no benefit". So far that has been quite wrong. A number of the medical profesionals I've seen have been reluctant to use the "A" word, but several have thought it was right on target. Yes, I've been passed few a through therapists.
The primary thing I have gained is a context for my behaviour. My wife now has a better understand of my hows and whys as well as care and feeding. I'm starting to learn how to better interact with her in leaps and bounds. She seriously thought I was some kind of monster when my compliments went wrong. They really were supposed to be complementary and she thought I was out to make her feel bad. That realization alone was worth the price of admission. I've never gotten up in the moring and aimed to hurt someone's feelings. Helping others to understand that, especially a spouse is pretty critical.
Now we're to the point where my wife can read (as NT's can) when I could do with some alone time. She doesn't always feel hurt when words come out wrong, she asks me to clarify and sometimes even explains why it might sound hurtful. I'm learning to exploit my strengths and avoid my weaknesses.
It also helps to know that we aren't wrong, just different. We are far better suited to learn how to live in an NT world than they would be to live in ours. Just don't tell them we think so, I don't think it would go well. |
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youngdoug
Hummingbird
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 24
Location: United Kingdom
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:01 am Post subject: |
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effzedpilot
That's so real nice positive. Stories like yours give me hope for us all. Thanks for sharing.
_________________
Scrape the surface of language, and you will behold interstellar space and the skin that encloses it
a long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right |
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Hutchie
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 08, 2011
Age: 31
Posts: 13
Location: London UK
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:12 am Post subject: |
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| techstepscientist wrote: | I was finally diagnosed a few years ago at the age of 33. MY GP said to me 'what do you hope to get from it?' my reply was 'relief'
In terms of support from the GP or other service, i have heard nothing from either since my diagnoses (which cost me £400). Nevertheless, I did not do it for this, and the support they offer i don't actually need (what i need they don't offer) (I am from the UK).
For years i was trying to work out if i had bi polar, schizophrenia, ADHD, borderline personality disorder and the list goes on. Now i have been diagnosed as a highly functioning aspie. I now know why i am different to other people, why i suffer from excessive anxiety when more people enter the room i am in, why i avoid parties hosted by people i actually like, why i see patterns most people cant get there head around, and why i need downtime when i have been around people in social setting.
If you do not get an official diagnoses you will never actually know. |
I'm in the UK how come it cost you £400 to get a diagnosis? Did you go private or did they tell you that you would have to go private? I'm seeing my GP next week about getting a diagnosis so very interested to know... Thanks |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1471
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 1:34 pm Post subject: Adult Diagnosis |
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I struggled with depression and self destructive behavior for years and finally asked my GP if I might have Asperger's. She referred me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me.
I felt a sense of empowerment - I have always felt weak or that I was a failure. The diagnosis meant that there was a specific effect going on in my brain - something that NTs don't have to deal with.
The Asperger's diagnosis led my psychiatrist to treat me with medications that I had not tried before. They have been effective in decreasing my anxiety, compulsive behavior and depression. |
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Alnitah
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 04, 2011
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:02 am Post subject: |
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I gave up when a doctor told I was too old to be diagnosed with AS  After all, he said, it would have been picked up when I was a child. |
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Ann2011
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2011
Posts: 1471
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 12:02 pm Post subject: Adult diagnosis |
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| I was 39 when I was diagnosed. It depends on your doctor ... can you try to see a different doctor? The result may be different. |
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neerdowell
Toucan
Joined: Jun 08, 2011
Age: 34
Posts: 255
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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I was diagnosed after talking to my doctor about how stressed I was and how I was struggling at home. Also my 4 year old son had just been diagnosed and his therapist suggested I get evaluated. It really didn't take long for me to be diagnosed. When they looked at my histroy from when I wwas in school and there was attempts to find out why I didn't talk at school, why I walked strange and didn't relate with any other kids. I also had seizures which had been unexplained.
Really thie daignosis just helped me realize that I wasn't crazy. It helped my wife know when I was losing it and need ed time to recover. It has since helped at work as my boss has always been helpful but he suggested that I work from home on days where I need time to adjust and can't handle all the noise at the office.
It also has allowed me to stp hiding some of my symptoms at home. I know longer have to make up excuses for why I don't want to go out with friends. I just tell them I need time to recover from work. I used to hide alot of mye behaviors which I still have to at work but once I got married I hid them at home but in the end I would end up shutting down or melting down even revertting to hitting myself which I had not done since elementatry school.
My diagnosis has really just helped explain things to myself. |
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