rai
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 05, 2011
Posts: 32
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 Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 1:47 am Post subject: |
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It took a while for me. I was raised in a strict household that was not very gay-friendly....
I'm a girl, and in high school I started having crushes on girls. I brushed it off and considered it "admiration" towards beautiful girls. My mother threatened me with kicking me out of the house if I were gay or had a girlfriend, etc. I brushed all feelings for girls aside for the remainder of my high school career.
After I started college I realized that I definitely had crushes on people of the same gender, and of the opposite gender and to me I have crushes depending on the person, not their gender. I don't like somebody just because they have certain sexual organs. I consider myself open. I also think I'm lucky because I've been dating a man for a couple years now, and he's aware of how I feel towards other genders. He is okay with the fact that I cross dress frequently which makes me happy =] I have to say, I usually brush these things off, (since to me, I figure, I'm with him and that's what matters in my life right now), but honestly, he's very accommodating. I'm not really sure when exactly I became completely okay with the fact that I'm bisexual. I've always had the feelings, but I suppressed them for so long thanks to my mom. I just know that it was something that I was hiding for too long, and finally it's come out, and I'm okay with it. I think I'm lucky to have a boyfriend that is okay with my bisexuality. Here's our last conversation regarding this subject:
him: (regarding a movie where there was woman on woman a action) "I heard there was a lezzie scene with two women."
me: "oh, nice!"
him: "...you like that, huh?"
me: *smiling and not saying anything*
him: "oh you do!!"
me: "I didn't say anything!"
him: "I know you like that."
me: *smiles*
He just laughed and was like "yeah, I knew you did", smiled and turned around. I couldn't ask for a better man in my life.
Either way I mean, I had a feeling for so long that I was attracted to both genders, but I wasn't able to accept it as the truth until I moved from my mom's place, because she was so against it that I felt like it was "wrong". After I moved out, I discovered that it wasn't wrong at all, it was just how I felt.  |
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visagrunt
Polymath
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 45
Posts: 5754
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:23 am Post subject: |
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I can't believe that this thread has been around for two months and I have yet to reply to it. Must be asleep at the switch!
Anyhow, my discovery of my sexuality was very typical--at the age of 12 or 13, as I began to develop sexually, my fantasies were all exclusively male. I would watch the other boys in the locker room at school, (All boys, private school. Not all the stereotypes are true, alas.)
It was a very, short gap from this budding sexuality to the realization that I was exclusively attracted to men. It was a longer gap to become reconciled to that.
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--James |
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Thom_Fuleri
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2010
Posts: 802
Location: Leicestershire, UK
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| Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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I was somewhat slow on the uptake.
It wasn't until I got to University that I seriously started thinking about sex, and at that point I didn't have any concept of homosexuality - I'd never picked up on anything about it as it had never been relevant to me. I started wondering how to find a girlfriend, but never found the right one.
It wasn't until my second year, a period in which I was very lonely and depressed, that I realised things weren't quite right. In summer of that year I discovered prescription sunglasses, and found I was able to eye up the more attractive students without worrying they'd know I was doing it. And I realised it was the topless young men I was eyeing up.
First, panic.
Then, I visited the LGBT.
No going back after that! |
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Andoryuu
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 07, 2011
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:28 am Post subject: |
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I had a crush on my friend who lived across the street up until I was 5, then I moved.
I loved a boy in my first and second grade. I even told my mom I did. I wanted him to be my brother.
I loved a boy in my third and fourth grade.
And then all throughout middle and high school, all I could think about was having sex with every guy. I also even loved someone two grades ahead of me in the same way as the other two.
That's it, really. Quite simple. I guess I have a really high sex drive. |
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OrangeJuicyWay
Emu Egg
Joined: Mar 04, 2011
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I denied in until the summer before ninth grade, but I was clearly attracted to boys. I just was stubborn to admit that it was sexual because I did not want it to be. Then I found out that men generally like to see their gender of attraction naked, which explained why I liked seeing boys naked. However, I still did not take it very seriously until the end of tenth grade, when I forced myself to take it seriously and deal with it as perfectly as possible, which was a total disaster. I have been struggling to stop the obsessive planning for a while, but I am making progress. |
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dopplercb
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 10, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 359
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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| I knew because I knew that looking a girls made me tingle whereas looking at boys made me cringe. I chased a girl all around during my 3rd grade year. |
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AstroGeek
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 29, 2011
Age: 19
Posts: 1477
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| Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| OrangeJuicyWay wrote: | | I denied in until the summer before ninth grade, but I was clearly attracted to boys. I just was stubborn to admit that it was sexual because I did not want it to be. Then I found out that men generally like to see their gender of attraction naked, which explained why I liked seeing boys naked. However, I still did not take it very seriously until the end of tenth grade, when I forced myself to take it seriously and deal with it as perfectly as possible, which was a total disaster. I have been struggling to stop the obsessive planning for a while, but I am making progress. |
You did better than me--it was similar for me but it took me until halfway through grade 12 to realize it. |
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Thom_Fuleri
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2010
Posts: 802
Location: Leicestershire, UK
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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| AstroGeek wrote: | | OrangeJuicyWay wrote: | | I denied in until the summer before ninth grade, but I was clearly attracted to boys. I just was stubborn to admit that it was sexual because I did not want it to be. Then I found out that men generally like to see their gender of attraction naked, which explained why I liked seeing boys naked. However, I still did not take it very seriously until the end of tenth grade, when I forced myself to take it seriously and deal with it as perfectly as possible, which was a total disaster. I have been struggling to stop the obsessive planning for a while, but I am making progress. |
You did better than me--it was similar for me but it took me until halfway through grade 12 to realize it. |
(Translating)
These would be ages 14 and 16, yes? I was 20! |
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gailryder17
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 16, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 1024
Location: Los Angeles
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Thom_Fuleri wrote: | | AstroGeek wrote: | | OrangeJuicyWay wrote: | | I denied in until the summer before ninth grade, but I was clearly attracted to boys. I just was stubborn to admit that it was sexual because I did not want it to be. Then I found out that men generally like to see their gender of attraction naked, which explained why I liked seeing boys naked. However, I still did not take it very seriously until the end of tenth grade, when I forced myself to take it seriously and deal with it as perfectly as possible, which was a total disaster. I have been struggling to stop the obsessive planning for a while, but I am making progress. |
You did better than me--it was similar for me but it took me until halfway through grade 12 to realize it. |
(Translating)
These would be ages 14 and 16, yes? I was 20! |
Discovered attraction to the same gender at 13. Opposite gender earlier. Now, I'm open (I still find my own gender a little more aesthetically pleasing)
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White-Rose-Tree
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Aug 04, 2011
Posts: 69
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:26 pm Post subject: |
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I had a huge crush on my class's assistant teacher, Miss Melzer. She smiled a lot, and had red ringlets. I also liked one of the students, who was this really pretty girl my own age, this time.
This was... 2nd grade. I was seven.
Since then all my crushes have been glasses-wearing blondes named Kate. Or Cate, Katie, Kayte, or Cat. I know it's the most common girl's name for the age group, but it's still a little creepy.
Always women, though. Always imagined myself with a woman, always dreamed about being with women... if I tried to imagine myself with a man, the person I was imagining wasn't me any longer. Feminine women (not, like, dresses and make-up and stuff... but curvy, higher voices, etc. I find "butch" girls totally unnattractive). But then again, I'm probably technically genderqueer at least or maybe trans... I have no problem in thinking myself androgynous, and my self-insert characters in my writing are almost always male. I don't know anymore, I don't care, none of the girls like me back so there's no problem  |
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puddingmouse
exclamation mark!
Joined: Apr 25, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 7059
Location: Mega City 3
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:31 am Post subject: |
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| White-Rose-Tree wrote: | | none of the girls like me back so there's no problem |
Well, I know how that feels. 
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I'm as ugly as sin and twice as sweet. |
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White-Rose-Tree
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Aug 04, 2011
Posts: 69
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 12:02 pm Post subject: |
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| puddingmouse wrote: | | White-Rose-Tree wrote: | | none of the girls like me back so there's no problem |
Well, I know how that feels. |
We're just too cool for them, clearly |
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glasscasket
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 07, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 160
Location: In a sea of dreams and nightmares
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| Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| When I was 9 I kept staring at a pretty girl in my class without realizing it until she asked me. I turned beet red and told her that I really liked her hair. Around that time I also told my mom that I thought I was a boy in a girl's body. At 15 years old I knew I was bi when I started experimenting with girls, enjoying it and it wasn't just a phase or a one time thing. |
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GreySun369
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 03, 2010
Posts: 824
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| Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 1:43 am Post subject: |
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I kind of hit puberty at an early age and started masturbating when I was just 10 years old. I didn't really understand what it was I was doing at the time, but once somebody explained it to me I realized I was gay because I always fanatsized about men while I was doing it. I don't think I've ever fanatisized about the opposite gender, like the many people who say they were "confused" during adolescents and couldn't figure out if they liked men, women, or both.
However I'm still a virgin and have never dated, and to be honest I don't feel like finding a relationship or even somebody to sleep with is that important in my life. That is why I sometimes wonder if I may be asexual, which is somebody who isn't attracted to either gender. |
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Wraythen
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Sep 14, 2010
Age: 21
Posts: 191
Location: Perth, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:02 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I'm gay.
I didn't realise it until this February though. I know why though, 'cause I wound up getting taunted and jeered at by a lot of kids from multiple year levels back in high school. It started when I was 12, before I hit puberty so I never got a proper chance to figure it out 'till now. 
Throughout my stay in high school, getting a girlfriend was never a super-important thing for me - now I know why.
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