dopplercb
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 10, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 359
Location: Ohio
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 Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:07 pm Post subject: Is that a man's shirt? |
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that is the question my 8 year old godson asked me this afternoon. the shirt is a little differetly patterned to what I normally wear, but is no more masculine than any other man's shirt I have worn, and he has never said anything before today. to be clear, I always wear mens shirts. they are more my style and I feel comfortable in them.
children are blunt. too blunt sometimes. his question embarrassed me and left me flustered.
ever experience things like this? |
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Vince
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 698
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt".
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I'm Vince. I make the music. And puppet.
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dopplercb
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 10, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 359
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Vince wrote: | | A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt". |
I wish I could think on my feet like that. |
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Ambiguity
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 02, 2011
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Vince wrote: | | A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt". |
This is a great response. I'll have to try and remember it.
OP, I would have been flustered too. Don't try to take it too personally; I'm sure you know that kids tend to speak unfiltered. If anything I'd be more saddened just how deeply sexist thoughts can be engrained even in young people. |
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puddingmouse
exclamation mark!
Joined: Apr 25, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 7051
Location: Mega City 3
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| Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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At least you didn't do what I would've done. I would've just said 'yes' in a deadpan voice.
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dopplercb
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 10, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 359
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I was too embarassed to say yes, lol. |
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mb1984
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 05, 2011
Posts: 432
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| Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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| puddingmouse wrote: | | At least you didn't do what I would've done. I would've just said 'yes' in a deadpan voice. |
That's what I would have done too!
_________________
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Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.
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techn0teen
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 15, 2010
Age: 21
Posts: 663
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| Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Vince wrote: | | A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt". |
That's something I need to consider.
Anyone who says that sexism isn't around is oblivious. Two year olds even exhibit sexist thinking and talking. People should wear whatever the heck they want to wear. |
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Vince
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 698
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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| techn0teen wrote: | | Vince wrote: | | A good response would have been "No, it's my shirt". |
That's something I need to consider.
Anyone who says that sexism isn't around is oblivious. Two year olds even exhibit sexist thinking and talking. People should wear whatever the heck they want to wear. |
Comedian Eddie Izzard (who is an open transvestite) has been known to respond to the question of why he occasionally wears women's clothing with something along the lines of "I don't, these are my clothes, I bought them" (probably not an exact quote, but that's the gist of it). I think that's a very sensible way to look at it, and I don't see why it should be any more of a thing than that. If you own the shirt, and you're not a man, then it's by definition not a man's shirt.
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I'm Vince. I make the music. And puppet.
http://www.swenglish.nu |
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dopplercb
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 10, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 359
Location: Ohio
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| Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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so, yesterday I am playing the sims social on facebook when my godson remarks that my sim is a boy, then asks me if I want to be a boy. I told him to stop asking questions.
I don't know what to do with him. |
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Vince
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 698
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="dopplercb"]so, yesterday I am playing the sims social on facebook when my godson remarks that my sim is a boy, then asks me if I want to be a boy. I told him to stop asking questions.
I don't know what to do with him.[/quote]
Asking questions is how we learn things. To tell a child to stop asking questions is to teach him not to gather wisdom. I'm not so sure that's a good idea. |
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mb1984
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 05, 2011
Posts: 432
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| Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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My son asks a ton of questions, and I don't always have an answer for him. When I don't know what to say, I usually try to respond with a question so it puts the focus back on him quickly. That's my best advice for next time.
Maybe responding something like "Well what if I did want to be a boy?" or "Isn't it cooler to be a boy?" Or something like that...
But answering difficult questions with a question, usually works with my son. He gets involved in what he was saying, or I make sure to ask a question about what he has said, to further divert his attention. He just forgets he even asked a question.
_________________
AQ Score: 44/50 Aspie Quiz: 175/200-Aspie 31/200-NT
Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Melpomene
Raven
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 7:38 am Post subject: |
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| dopplercb wrote: | so, yesterday I am playing the sims social on facebook when my godson remarks that my sim is a boy, then asks me if I want to be a boy. I told him to stop asking questions.
I don't know what to do with him. |
Perhaps not the best response. It discourages him from being curious, and he might feel like he did something wrong when he really didn't. Next time, try asking him a question in return, like mb1984 suggested. Something like "Don't you like to pretend you're someone else sometimes?" might work. Nearly every child engages in fantasy play. Explain to him, on his level, that this is the grown-up equivalent of going outside to slay dragons on your trustworthy steed. Chances are he'll go "Ooooh, okay" and toddle off to find something else to do. |
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