Why does sexual attraction have anything to do with dating?

Page 1 of 4 [ 49 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next


Do you have to be sexually attracted to someone to date him/her/it?
Yes 67%  67%  [ 42 ]
No 24%  24%  [ 15 ]
Depends/Don't know 10%  10%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 63

diniesaur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 758
Location: in the Ministry of Silly Walks

08 Oct 2011, 8:27 pm

I don't understand. I would date people even if they weren't sexually attractive to me. I hear that sexual attraction is very important to most people when they consider dating a person. Why is it like that?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

08 Oct 2011, 8:33 pm

"Dating" seems to involve getting to know a person with the possible goal of forming a committed partnership (a.k.a., "Marriage").

Otherwise, you may just as well "Go out" or "Hang out" with someone for no particular reason.


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


sacrip
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 844

08 Oct 2011, 8:40 pm

So, what does a 'date' mean to you then? It's not simply a friendly outing, it's time spent with someone of the opposite gender (or same, if you're homosexual) that has potential of a romantic or sexual nature. I won't say you HAVE to be sexually attracted to your date, but if there isn't SOME sort of physical or romantic interest on your part, then you're NOT on a date, you're just having dinner with some person.


_________________
Everything would be better if you were in charge.


Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

08 Oct 2011, 8:40 pm

Because it would be friendship if it didn't involve sex.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

08 Oct 2011, 8:46 pm

sacrip wrote:
So, what does a 'date' mean to you then? It's not simply a friendly outing, it's time spent with someone of the opposite gender (or same, if you're homosexual) that has potential of a romantic or sexual nature. I won't say you HAVE to be sexually attracted to your date, but if there isn't SOME sort of physical or romantic interest on your part, then you're NOT on a date, you're just having dinner with some person.

Physical, sexual, romantic ... it's all they same, really. "Romance" is just a fancy word for "Let's deny our physical desires as long as possible, and focus on poetry, artistry, etiquette, and other similar activities until we finally consummate our relationship with an earth-shaking marathon session of intense coital activity ... and then maybe get married." Thus, "dating" is just another "romantic" activity.

"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"

If really you are interested in a person as "Just a Friend", then either you are already in a committed sex-based relationship, or you've lost all interest in sex (at least with that person).


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

08 Oct 2011, 8:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"

maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

08 Oct 2011, 8:50 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"
maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.

Well, then ... what does "Getting Physical" with a man mean to you?


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

08 Oct 2011, 8:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"
maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.

Well, then ... what does "Getting Physical" with a man mean to you?

oooops i meant to quote the top part of what you said:

Fnord wrote:
Physical, sexual, romantic ... it's all they same, really.


:oops:


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


MountZion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 397
Location: London

08 Oct 2011, 9:00 pm

If I am dating a girl with a view to something more, chances are I am sexually attracted to her. I can hang out with a girl I'm not sexually attracted to but if I'm considering a girl to date, that attraction has to be there. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow, and I'm not too discriminating about what kind of girls I'm sexually attracted to (it's broad), but it stands.


_________________
The Artistry


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,750
Location: Stendec

08 Oct 2011, 9:02 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"
maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.

Well, then ... what does "Getting Physical" with a man mean to you?

oooops i meant to quote the top part of what you said:

Fnord wrote:
Physical, sexual, romantic ... it's all they same, really.


:oops:

Ahh ... in that case, I agree. I connect with women over music, technology, literature ... but we don't "Date", "Go Out", or even "Hang Out" together. We just have a short discussion on topics of mutual interests when we happen to be in the same places at the same times.

With me, I guess it's either "Date & Do It" or make small talk - nothing in between.


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


Jory
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,520
Location: Tornado Alley

08 Oct 2011, 9:10 pm

Nothing. I'm just in it for the coffee, food, and movies.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

08 Oct 2011, 9:12 pm

MountZion wrote:
If I am dating a girl with a view to something more, chances are I am sexually attracted to her. I can hang out with a girl I'm not sexually attracted to but if I'm considering a girl to date, that attraction has to be there. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow, and I'm not too discriminating about what kind of girls I'm sexually attracted to (it's broad), but it stands.

i am the same way, sort of. these days, i would not date someone i am not sexually attracted to either. the sexual attraction is just one part of a whole package, but if it is missing it's a no-go. i say "sort of" because i used to date people for other reasons, but that was a long time ago.

i happen to also feel romance of a sort. i thought i didn't but i was wrong. i think it is person-specific, if that makes any sense.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

08 Oct 2011, 9:31 pm

Sexual attraction is unimportant to me but I'm kind of on the asexuality spectrum; I'm not even sure if I really get sexual attraction. Friendship is a major part of a relationship for me but there is a lot more to it than that without sexual attraction; like loving her, being affectionate with her, sharing a bond/connection with her ect


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

09 Oct 2011, 12:49 am

Yes... that's the point of dating. Otherwise that's what friends are for.



CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

09 Oct 2011, 5:00 am

diniesaur wrote:
I don't understand. I would date people even if they weren't sexually attractive to me. I hear that sexual attraction is very important to most people when they consider dating a person. Why is it like that?

For me the process is this: you ask someone whether they want to go out with you, and if they say yes, you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Any one-to-one meetups after that are dates.



thedaywalker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 736

09 Oct 2011, 5:32 am

dating is something that involves 2 things emotion and reason most people live more by emotion than us aspies so most people care more about sexual atraction for it is a emotional thing.