Janissy
Phoenix
Joined: May 06, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 4858
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 Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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| The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | Janissy wrote: | | bluerose wrote: | | Wolfheart - So if every dyke I ever meet I have a negative experience with I can't call them what I want to and they're allowed to call me whatever they want? . |
This is very weird and it tells me something else is going on other than looks-ism. A large number of gay women are openly hostile to the entire concept of looks-ism, seeing it as a tool of male oppression. Many embrace ugliness as a way to keep men away from them or as a deliberate rebellion against the "Tyranny of Beauty". These women can be seen in Gay Pride parades proudly not being pretty as a political statement. That these same women would turn around and insult you for your looks seems...odd. Something else is going on here. |
What you're saying is very weird, that's the first time I heard of such thing.
I knew lesbians in person before, while their taste in girls' appearance may differ slightly from straight guys (but not THAT different), they're not 'ugliness' adopters either. |
It's a political stance that may be specific to the U.S. I guess I should check if the OP is in the U.S. before going too far with that theory.
edited to add: after reading Face of Boo's post, I checked the OP's location which is The Baltics. I don't know what the political stance of lesbian culture is there so none of this may apply. |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9357
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Janissy wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | | Janissy wrote: | | bluerose wrote: | | Wolfheart - So if every dyke I ever meet I have a negative experience with I can't call them what I want to and they're allowed to call me whatever they want? . |
This is very weird and it tells me something else is going on other than looks-ism. A large number of gay women are openly hostile to the entire concept of looks-ism, seeing it as a tool of male oppression. Many embrace ugliness as a way to keep men away from them or as a deliberate rebellion against the "Tyranny of Beauty". These women can be seen in Gay Pride parades proudly not being pretty as a political statement. That these same women would turn around and insult you for your looks seems...odd. Something else is going on here. |
What you're saying is very weird, that's the first time I heard of such thing.
I knew lesbians in person before, while their taste in girls' appearance may differ slightly from straight guys (but not THAT different), they're not 'ugliness' adopters either. |
It's a political stance that may be specific to the U.S. I guess I should check if the OP is in the U.S. before going too far with that theory.
edited to add: after reading Face of Boo's post, I checked the OP's location which is The Baltics. I don't know what the political stance of lesbian culture is there so none of this may apply. |
Homosexuality is just a sexual orientation, simple as that, it is not some political/ideological movement.
Now if some Lesbians in the US follows a such ideology then I doubt it would be a majority case. |
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Janissy
Phoenix
Joined: May 06, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 4858
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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| The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | Homosexuality is just a sexual orientation, simple as that, it is not some political/ideological movement.
Now if some Lesbians in the US follows a such ideology then I doubt it would be a majority case. |
In the U.S. it has taken on strong political tones. I was being U.S.-centric.  |
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bluerose
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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Janissy -
I am somewhat attracted to the butch lesbians I meet here, I was definitely very friendly to them, maybe too much to some, where they might've thought the fugly dog (not my own words but a rough translation to what one of them referred to me as behind my back) was attracted to them and lashed out because of that.
But I used to treat them exactly the same as gay guys and straight women and I can say that with the full conviction that everyone that knows me can back me up - some of there were there during certain incidents of straight out violent behaviour from men and dykes and they were even more horrified than I was and just couldn't believe it, wouldn't have if they hadn't witnessed it. They definitely didn't find anything that I'd done wrong to even partially explain said behaviour.
I believe in the US things are majorly different than here. There is no big strong movement here, and most lesbians here are either very feminine who like butch (and I mean can't tell if the person's a man or a woman most of the time) girls as a substitute of men or said butchy girls, who have a very straight-male-ish taste in women -I'd say the same taste pretty much, though obviously they have to take what they can get as it's still a taboo thing here. The androgynous lesbians you probably know are almost nonexistent here, I've never met one in person and I've been to plenty of lesbian bars and gay clubs - I'm friends with several said femme lesbians (obviously different from the butch ones I referred here to as dykes and who in return refer to me as a dog) and also gay guys.
I think some of the cultural differences may explain the male behaviour as well - people just in general are not very polite or tactful here, that's not just something I said either. Any campaign or movement basically against pretty women would be absolutely ridicouled here and women and men in general pay a lot of attention to female attractiveness without anyone really questioning whether it's PC or not. If I look at even the women politicians we have here, vs the ones you'd see in the US there's a major difference. Maybe this is why my post is so hard to swallow for some people on here.
Thank you for a serious, nonoffensive response  |
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The_Face_of_Boo
A savage
Joined: Jun 17, 2010
Age: 31
Posts: 9357
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Janissy wrote: | | The_Face_of_Boo wrote: | Homosexuality is just a sexual orientation, simple as that, it is not some political/ideological movement.
Now if some Lesbians in the US follows a such ideology then I doubt it would be a majority case. |
In the U.S. it has taken on strong political tones. I was being U.S.-centric. |
Americans.....
.....I love you!! (I love your green card). |
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Greatsharkbite
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 680
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Greatsharkbite - And who'se fault is how I get treated? Still mine? Geez, how about all those pretty princesses out there who whinge when their boyfriend doesn't buy them the right colour of a car and act like a b***h towards anywhere else, where are the people picking on them? Why is everything my fault, but everything everyone else does to me because of my looks - people I've never even f***ing talked to, much less been rude towards - a-okay?
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Well, as I just said that people are responsible for their own actions--it'd be their fault.
No one has the right to lay a hand on you, when its reasonably unprovoked. They were dead wrong and hopefully they suffer the consequences.
Also you think those women are treated with respect? I seriously doubt it. Unless they're a so-called trophy wife, most guys don't like gold diggers and the guys who even would care to be involved with them--can get better ones. No one's blaming you, actually your post was very sympathetic at first until you started lashing out at groups.
You lashed out at people who didn't deserve it and weren't involved by generalizing and trivializing their problems. I'm not trying to attack you, but you could utilize tact.
I know this post is probably just a way to get feedback for you and mainly blow off steam, but in the process, you need to be careful as to what direction you blow it in.
Also instinct doesn't beat self-control, or you could also argue a case for the guy who attempted to hit you. He was wrong--end of story. |
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swbluto
System architect and nanobot commander
Joined: Feb 27, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 2899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Ria1989 wrote: | | Being different sucks no matter what you look like. |
More accurately, being worse than average sucks no matter what you look like. |
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bluerose
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics
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| Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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Greatsharkbite - you're not very experienced in life if you think those women aren't treated with respect:D Trust me, they get a LOT of respect whereever they go, whether they deserve it or not. And I'd take any disrespect they get a million times, considering all the free drinks, free access everywhere, guys paying her rent just because, she doesn't even have to sleep with anyone or be anyone's wife. Trust me, they get treated like queens everywhere they go. Maybe they don't get special treatment from rich guys who have their pick, but it'd be a bit much to demand that, now wouldn't it? A bit...entitled. You know, like how I was accused of being earlier in this thread for wanting to be treated with the same respect as any other f***ing woman.
Lashed out? Have you read anything I've written? A disproportionate amount of people from those groups that I've been in contact with have lashed out at me in a major way, completely undeserved. It's a fact, and I mentioned said fact, using perhaps some slightly inappropriate terminology. Did I hit anyone, or spit at anyone?
I never said instinct beat self-control in deciding how you behave, I said instincts influence people's decisions without people being aware of said instincts. It's subconscious, and people rationalize it in different ways and look for excuses to avoid the truth of why said decision was made. Being violent towards me was a very conscious decision, and it wasn't an instinct, it was a response to said instinct that was entirely his decision. In that case though I think he very consciously picked me because I was an ugly, petite, shy-looking girl who probably wouldn't have a boyfriend to come and beat him up, there was no attempt for him to rationalize his behaviour, he probably knew exactly why it was just me he chose, whereas people don't always consciously know when they discriminate and make judgements based on nothing more than appearance, they just do and then rationalize it to themselves. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21970
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 12:06 am Post subject: |
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http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt177449.html
this member gets rejected for an opposite problem, yet it is the same. attractive people don't automatically have everything easier. an attractive person who is autistic has massive challenges just like any other autistic person. in the end it scomes down to the same thing in terms of how much is innate and how much is fixable.
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:16 am Post subject: |
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| bluerose wrote: |
Who said anything about ONE person? What is it about EVERY DYKE I'VE EVER MET AND EVERY MALE that you have difficulty comprehending? I'm not speaking lack of attention, I'm speaking NEGATIVE attention, although lack of attention is there too, like not saying hello to me when I'm part of a group and instead talking to every other woman except for me after I've SMILED and said hello. Nothing weird about my smile either, women react very positively to my smiles, so do gay guys. |
Of course, looks are simply presentation but people can tend to make first impressions based on how you look or dress. It's up to you to show people that there's more than meets the eye, it's up to you to show you are more competent and able in your profession, that you're able to succeed despite the odds. I've never denied that social hierarchies can be predatory, of course they can be and I agree it's completely wrong and shallow how you've been discriminated and mistreated. You come across as someone who's a good conversationalist and you have some very insightful thoughts, perhaps you're associating yourself with the wrong social crowd.
| bluerose wrote: | | Are you so naive as to think for every Susan Boyle there aren't tons of talented singers out there who don't get any attention because they lack the looks? Are you so naive as to think nobody could possibly have a set of facial features so nasty that people may just not like them them because of that, but they may not think so, but instead figure out excuses for it, like dissecting said person's every action and word to the point where they don't do with nice-looking people to find an excuse for their instinctive repulsion and feel better about themselves? So no, they don't think they do it, but they still do, or is that too complicated for you to understand? |
You notice your physical imperfections far too much and you let it define you to the point that you always feel susceptible to failure, you never allow yourself to feel confidence, people pick up on this and see you as prey or vulnerable. Stop seeking approval for what you're not and start focusing on what you can help, start feeling confident in what you do have. I'm saying Susan Boyle is a case that there's hope for anyone in a competitive world.
| bluerose wrote: |
Ever think that a vibe may not be vibe at all, it may be you not visually liking the person and inventing the nonexistent vibe in your imagination to rationalize your dislike? |
Not at all. Compatibility and mutual understanding is far more important to me than looks are. Money and looks aren't an indicator or display of character at all since in some cases, they are inherited or genetically passed on. Beautiful people are ten a penny but an innovative mind is rare. How about Donatella Versace? She's not the most attractive woman yet she's successful in a very competitive profession full of beautiful women and she married an American model.
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bluerose
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:03 am Post subject: |
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hyperlexian - How f***ing dare you to compare my problem - being BULLIED RELENTLESSLY by males and dykes with the whinging of some obnoxious self-obsessed princess who deserves said bullying but never gets it and STILL complains she doesn't get special treatment for her appearance? Maybe her appearance isn't as model pretty, maybe she's just generically attractive - I definitely don't see her working as a model, so she isn't exactly the type of person I was talking about now is she? Do people throw rocks at her and spit on her for being self-obsessed? Has she never had a date and gets no male attention? If not, then how the f**k is it the same? If you can't get friends because you're an as*hole, stop being an as*hole, it's something you can change. And you are simply short-sighted and ignorant if you think my severe problem that isn't under my control is the same as someone's who simply refuses to change her behaviour. Also, she just isn't that attractive, the models I know act downright cruel and have plenty of male servants - and would have dyke servants if they wanted them - right at their back and call, paying for everything they want and following them around like puppies.
Wolfheart - Look at the link I was given. Now that's a self-obsessed princess with entitlement issues. Where are you calling her that in above thread? Maybe you don't have the guts, because you find her attractive. You=hypocrite.
Is EVERY MALE AND DYKE I'VE EVER MET the wrong social crowd? My social circle is far and wide because straight women and gay guys don't reject or bully me and they also agree I have good social skills and a good personality. I can't associate with the so-called right people because there is no social ground left for me to cover.
So if I just focus really hard on my positives males will stop spitting at me and want to go on a date with me?
I really think you're offtopic now because I never asked about career I asked about my PERSONAL LIFE and how to get in terms with that, not f***ing career advice:D But you just go on your own little tangents. Maybe you should reread my post and see what exactly it was that I asked about.
Donatella Versace is the daughter of who? Do your research. She inherited her success like Paris Hilton. Hardly an example. She was a billionaire before she was born. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21970
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 9:32 am Post subject: |
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you clearly have an issue with getting outside of your own misery long enough to see that other people have issues too... even if they are beautiful. do you have a place to live? do you have friends stick around? do your family members stand by your side? have you been able to stay out of homeless shelters?
Jessi_in_wonderland had all of these things happen to her (or similar - i may have gotten the details wrong). Jessi_in_wonderland doesn't seem like an as*hole at all actually - even in spite of the problems she states she has, her attitude is still positive and welcoming. it goes a long way towards getting support from other members.
she may have lots of men approach her, but they are probably mostly men who are attracted based on looks. at least if you have male friends you can be assured they care for you as person, as opposed to trying to get something out of you like random sex. at least you know your friends are genuine.
on an official note, homophobic language is not acceptable on WrongPlanet as it breaks the rules. please do not refer to lesbians as dykes again.
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bluerose
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:23 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I have a place to live. So what? I have to pay to live where I live, you think I got it for free? Maybe she'd get it for free if she acted less like a spoiled brat, some guy would take her in for free? I don't have that luxury, I have to WORK.
Yes, I have friends, but if I acted like she does, I wouldn't. So it's not comparable, now is it?
No, my family members don't stay by my side. My father was physically abusive, shouted at me and called me an ugly piece of sh**. I no longer communicate with him as he kicked me out of the house, not that it was ever a safe place for me to be anyway. I no longer communicate with my mother as she was always on his side and doesn't care to stay in touch. My grandparents live too far away.
Yes, I have stayed out of shelters, because I work and make my own money. No sympathy for those who want to get by without because of their appearance. Guess what, she just doesn't look good enough. If she was a model she'd have a trillion guys waiting to give her free shelter, and NO, they don't ask for sex. I know girls who have all that. Why do you keep dodging the issue that she's just not an example of who I was talking about? I was talking about EXCEPTIONALLY attractive women, just as I am exceptionally ugly.
Fact is, she created those problems herself. I have no sympathy for her and this is MY thread about MY problems, so I won't be talking about some stupid spoiled princess again. Her topic is over for me. This is a topic I made about ME, like she made a topic about HER. Did you go over to her topic to discuss my problems? Why not? She should get over her SOLVABLE problems and see what it's like to have guys bully you and spit on you, and obnoxious, nasty lesbians with boy haircuts, too. Why don't you go tell her to get over her problems?
Friends are NOT a substitute for a loving, affectionate relationship. Specially not for a woman. You are simply ignorant and seeing things what you want to see.
What is it in my behaviour and demeanor I could change to get POSITIVE male attention and affection? Smiling doesn't work, being friendly doesn't work, makeovers don't work, what else is there? Nothing, right, so how I can come to terms with that and still live a somewhat bearable life, having the same needs for genuine, sincere love and physical affection as anyone else, but never having them be fulfilled?
If you have no advice for ME, go pay tribute to your friend somewhere else. You are the one being rude here. |
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bluerose
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:46 am Post subject: |
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| Talking about an attractive woman's issues in a thread I created about my issues because I'm unattractive really is the ultimate insult. So that got me thinking. hyperlexian, it's okay if you don't want to say or something, but I thought it'd only be fair since I answered all your questions. Are you a lesbian? Perhaps one with a little crush on said pretty thread-starter? It would explain your behaviour and your lack of sympathy and tact. It's not always just the ones with the boy haircuts, sometimes the normal-looking ones are lapdogs too. |
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hyperlexian
loves the man who typed too much and ran outta spa
Joined: Jul 22, 2010
Age: 41
Posts: 21970
Location: with bucephalus
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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i honestly thought you could benefit from understanding her perspective, and i thought the same for her too. apparently not. you don't own your thread, so people are allowed to try to help you in whatever way they see fit. it doesn't break any rules to try to help you to gain understanding and perhaps some empathy through explaining someone else's situation.
your attitude hs been combative to everyone who posted, no matter what they said. if you want to vent, the Haven is designed for that.
on an official note, you've engaged in swearing, personal attacks and homophobic language on this thread, all of which violate the Rules of WrongPlanet (bolded below), therefore this thread is now locked. please familiarise yourself with acceptable behaviour on WrongPlanet.
| Quote: | ===================
WrongPlanet Rules
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Conduct
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The following activities are unacceptable on WrongPlanet:
1. Posting offensive language, comments, video, or images.
Unacceptable content includes swearing; racist, sexist, homophobic language; behavior intended to provoke or belittle other members; violent or sexually demeaning content; sexual fetish; and discussion of excretory function. Posting graphic images or videos of people or animals being harmed is prohibited.
2. Personal attacks.
This includes insinuation, ridicule and personal insults, regardless of whether direct or indirect. Attacking an opinion, belief or philosophy is acceptable, but attacking the person making the comments is not.
3. Other inappropriate content and behavior prohibited on Wrong Planet:
This includes copyrighted material, serial codes, and posts made to promote a website, group or product, particularly if made repeatedly and without other participation in the WP community (spamming). This also includes discussion of locked topics, discussion of banned members and why they were banned and anything else that purposely causes conflict with other members. |
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