hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3446
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 Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:00 am Post subject: |
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| Rubydoobs wrote: | Do you know what turns you on? Have you ever masturbated? Have you ever had an orgasm?
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I know what I like and that is external stimulation only. I don't even like penetration by myself. |
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Rubydoobs
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 25, 2011
Posts: 47
Location: UK
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| Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:05 am Post subject: |
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^Is it unbearable or just uncomfortable? I mean, could you put up with having him inside you, and use a vibe on yourself externally, then you're both happy, or would the discomfort of having him inside you spoil it for you?
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What's normal? Well, that's a good question. Normal is what everyone else is and you are not ~ Tolian Soran (ST: Gen) |
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3446
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| Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:18 am Post subject: |
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| Rubydoobs wrote: | | ^Is it unbearable or just uncomfortable? |
Whenever I do penetration it is either painful, uncomfortable, or boring and I get nothing out of it.
I quit having sex or dating when I was 20 and don't plan on ever doing penetration again. |
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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| hanyo wrote: | | Rubydoobs wrote: | | ^Is it unbearable or just uncomfortable? |
Whenever I do penetration it is either painful, uncomfortable, or boring and I get nothing out of it.
I quit having sex or dating when I was 20 and don't plan on ever doing penetration again. |
I really hate it, too. I always swear it off, and then get into a relationship and feel obligated, if not by the person then because of wanting to please them, myself.
I've grown to rather like certain aspects of sex, usually considered "foreplay", but penetration is hard to stand sometimes. There's no way I could get off during it, even with my vibrator (that's the only way I orgasm) and often it ruins whatever good feelings I'd "built up" beforehand, so I can't, even after.
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rainbowlolly
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 37
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| Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:38 am Post subject: |
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| I find it painful sometimes, however with me it depends on what is on my mind at the time. |
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Mego
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 244
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| Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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Perhaps, you just need to use some lube?
In my case, it always hurts in the beginning and takes some time to get warmed up. The guy always has to be very gentle (the first few moments) otherwise if he is not I tense up and the sex is un-enjoyable the whole time. |
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deconstruction
State of Love and Trust
Joined: Aug 04, 2011
Age: 31
Posts: 1764
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| Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:47 am Post subject: |
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I can relate. It's been like this for me since... well, the beginning.
There's a huge problem: I'm not asexual. Quite the contrary. I don't think I'm hypersexual but I have a strong drive.
I actually enjoy penetration, but only if it doesn't last too long (longer than 10-15 minutes). Most of the time, I can't do it the same day again. Sometimes, it hurts afterward. But I like sex so I try to be as aroused as possible before penetration. Having a guy who understands (and who doesn't want to go for hours- and trust me, they are afraid girls might want to go for hours; many are comfortable at going for 10-15 minutes). Also, I find that intact (uncircumcised) guys feel more comfortable. (Could be just me, though). |
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MagicMeerkat
meerkat
Joined: Jun 12, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 1347
Location: Kalahari Desert
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:09 am Post subject: |
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I remember how painful it was when I had my first gyncologist exam...the most painful expirence of my life and how painful it was to try tampons. I figured when a man and a woman have sex, he must put his part in her part. EWWW! That does sound painful. Why is this so great? You often hear phrases such as "better than sex". And people even daydream about having sex. Why? Are their people out their who fantisise about having their limbs chopped off? And besides why do people think it's so great when a woman looses her virginity? People are so weird. You often hear about animals being sex crazed. but they only do it at certian times of the year and only because they want to reproduce. People are the sex obsessed ones.
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Dione
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 24, 2011
Posts: 133
Location: A house in a galaxy far far away
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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| I thought I was the only one with this problem. My husband has to liquor me up to get me to have penetrative sex, and even then it only doesn't hurt when it's two weeks before I mensturate; any time during or for two weeks after my cycle is over, my tissues are too sensitive to have sex. |
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amusedviews
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: Jan 01, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 49
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 1:16 am Post subject: |
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| MagicMeerkat wrote: | | I remember how painful it was when I had my first gyncologist exam...the most painful expirence of my life and how painful it was to try tampons. I figured when a man and a woman have sex, he must put his part in her part. EWWW! That does sound painful. Why is this so great? You often hear phrases such as "better than sex". And people even daydream about having sex. Why? Are their people out their who fantisise about having their limbs chopped off? And besides why do people think it's so great when a woman looses her virginity? People are so weird. You often hear about animals being sex crazed. but they only do it at certian times of the year and only because they want to reproduce. People are the sex obsessed ones. |
Wait where did limb chopping come from? That was random.
And to respond to the OP, some women don't like penetration. It can just be the way they are wired or because of an unknown issue. It would depend on what kind of pain it is. maybe you are not (ugh no way to phrase this delicately) "wet" enough. What Rubydoobs said was perfect. Most women are taught to think of sex as something great for men but not for women. So girls dont explore their bodies like boys do. Find what you like and how you like it. And that may not included penetration no matter what. But their are many more ways to be intimate than just penetration. If that is the case Just find someone who is fine with that if your current partner isn't. |
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Aimless
innocent bystander
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 8159
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 7:47 am Post subject: |
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My issues with pain and sex come from after sex.
I have sex infrequently so I always get "honeymooner's cystitis", (burns when you pee).
Allergic reaction to latex condoms (itchy inside parts)
I have possible congenital hip dysplasia and the stretching of my legs with the missionary position makes me limp for days afterwards.
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3446
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:56 am Post subject: |
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| MagicMeerkat wrote: | | You often hear phrases such as "better than sex". And people even daydream about having sex. Why? Are their people out their who fantisise about having their limbs chopped off? |
| amusedviews wrote: |
Wait where did limb chopping come from? That was random. |
It was because both hurt, at least for some people.
Actually I like some pain but feeling like I'm being stabbed between my legs by something that just doesn't fit is not my idea of fun pain. |
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nana80
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Nov 09, 2011
Age: 32
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 3:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Aimless wrote: | My issues with pain and sex come from after sex.
I have sex infrequently so I always get "honeymooner's cystitis", (burns when you pee).
Allergic reaction to latex condoms (itchy inside parts)
I have possible congenital hip dysplasia and the stretching of my legs with the missionary position makes me limp for days afterwards. |
I used to get the cystitis alot, 2 thinks helped me: go to the bathroom and pee right afterwards, even if you dont feel the need to. Drink a lot of water or tee the next day. Use a product wich is sour afterwards to restore the vaginal flora in german they are called "Döderlein" no idea about english. In germany they are sold without recepy in the pharmacy.
condom: there are latex free varieties
position: there are plenty of positions, just use another one.
the most important: say stop as soon as it gets uncomfortable. even NT partners cannot read your mind sometimes. |
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deconstruction
State of Love and Trust
Joined: Aug 04, 2011
Age: 31
Posts: 1764
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm almost 100% sure it's a sensory issue for me. I never thought of sex as being something bad, and (not sure how to put this), I've explored my body a lot when I was a teen. I was looking forward to sex, to be honest... That's why I don't understand why this is happening. |
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Dione
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 24, 2011
Posts: 133
Location: A house in a galaxy far far away
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 1:54 am Post subject: |
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| deconstruction wrote: | | I'm almost 100% sure it's a sensory issue for me. I never thought of sex as being something bad, and (not sure how to put this), I've explored my body a lot when I was a teen. I was looking forward to sex, to be honest... That's why I don't understand why this is happening. |
Have you had any illness that could have contributed to your sensitivity? I know that's mostly what did me in. I developed shingles a year and a half ago. Before I got sick, I was fine; I didn't like to be touched all the time but could mostly function and deal with stimuli. Now, I get flashback pains and cannot stand to be touched most of the time. |
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