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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13669
Location: My house
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 Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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Okay I haven't really gotten into trouble for taking things literally but that was maybe because I was in special ed and I had an early diagnoses of autism and I was known to have language problems so that could have been why.
But when I was 11, we were coming home from Montana and I kept teasing my mother. She kept telling me to stop that teasing. So I would stop that tease and do another tease. Turns out she meant "Stop teasing me" and I really did upset her and left her crying in the car and she kicked me out of the car and was going to have me walk home but decided to not do that or else she get in trouble with the law. We were three hours away from home.
When I was 14, I kept doing funny names and I said Harry Balz and the aid from the resource room got upset with me for it and told me no more. So I went to another student and asked her what if her last name was Ball. The teacher started yelling at me and I didn't know why. Turns out she didn't want me talking about funny names to other students, not to her only. Mom had to tell me that is what she meant.
I also remember in 6th grade I was working on something and this girl in my class who didn't like me complimented me on something. I told her "thank you" and she got mad at me saying "geez, I was being sarcastic" and I was so confused. I don't remember what she said to me which is a shame but I will never forget that. I still don't see how it was sarcasm and what she was trying to imply.
I don't know if this counts as me being literal but when I was in 6th grade, these kids would ask me personal questions on the playground and I would answer them and they get mad at me. I didn't know why and just figured maybe they didn't like me being nice. My school counselor told me in my teens it was because they were trying to upset me and they didn't so they got mad. Sometimes I think having Asperger's is a good thing when it comes to this because then we have no clue we are being picked on and it pisses people off and we are hard to mess with. |
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lole
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 17, 2011
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| League_Girl wrote: | | I also remember in 6th grade I was working on something and this girl in my class who didn't like me complimented me on something. I told her "thank you" and she got mad at me saying "geez, I was being sarcastic" and I was so confused. I don't remember what she said to me which is a shame but I will never forget that. I still don't see how it was sarcasm and what she was trying to imply. |
That happens to me a lot. I'll get a compliment on something and they have to tell me that they were being sarcastic. I don't understand why people feel the need to do this. Wouldn't it be easier to just say "I think that ______ looks ugly"?
Something that didn't really get me in trouble, but made me feel really bad was when I moved to a new school, and this kid "hooked me up" on a date with this other girl. But then they started laughing about it, and anytime I saw them in the hallway they would all laugh and say "Hey when are you gonna go on a date with her?". |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13669
Location: My house
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:30 am Post subject: |
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| lole wrote: | | League_Girl wrote: | | I also remember in 6th grade I was working on something and this girl in my class who didn't like me complimented me on something. I told her "thank you" and she got mad at me saying "geez, I was being sarcastic" and I was so confused. I don't remember what she said to me which is a shame but I will never forget that. I still don't see how it was sarcasm and what she was trying to imply. |
That happens to me a lot. I'll get a compliment on something and they have to tell me that they were being sarcastic. I don't understand why people feel the need to do this. Wouldn't it be easier to just say "I think that ______ looks ugly"?
Something that didn't really get me in trouble, but made me feel really bad was when I moved to a new school, and this kid "hooked me up" on a date with this other girl. But then they started laughing about it, and anytime I saw them in the hallway they would all laugh and say "Hey when are you gonna go on a date with her?". |
Maybe that girl in my class was trying to say whatever I was doing was ugly.
I didn't get your story. So what happened when they hooked you up? Did you go out or something and what were they implying when they asked you when you are going out with her? |
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lole
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 17, 2011
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:38 am Post subject: |
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I think she was just trying to insult you. If it was a particular item, then she may have meant that the item looked bad. IE, a shoe, article of clothing, etc.
Sorry about the story, I didn't elaborate very well. The kid that attempted to arrange the date, a few of his friends, and the girl were all sitting in around me. They all said that I was going to go on a date with her. At first I thought they were serious and was agreeing to everything, except when they all started laughing. They would yell it after me in the hallway, and then laugh. Another thing that made me think they were being sarcastic/ mean is that they would point out obvious flaws on me and then say "[the girl] thinks that [obvious flaw] is attractive", and then laugh really really loudly.
To be honest, I still don't know what they were implying. I think they were just picking on me. It seemed like they were laughing at me. |
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BitteOrca
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 17, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 10:41 am Post subject: |
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One of the earliest times I can remember this situation happening to me was when someone got kicked out of health class because she asked the teacher "do you spit or swallow?" referring to semen. I was so confused.. and after class a friend asked me if i spit or swallow jokingly and i said confidently, "both. sometimes you have to swallow when you're in school!" referring to saliva, obviously. he didn't say anything and walked away, and it bugged me for so long, like "what just happened"?
I didn't realize the mistake I made until a couple years later |
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SammichEater
Now 30% Cooler
Joined: Mar 07, 2011
Age: 19
Posts: 3823
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| I don't believe it has ever happened, actually. |
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SilverTung
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 18, 2011
Posts: 126
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:09 am Post subject: |
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Yeah. That has never happened to me. If it has it was in passing. Like most of you I lack in social skills, yet excel in one or 2 things. I like words, myself. Saying them, writing them, singing them, rhyming them, drawing them, clawing them into my face to scare away the human race from my solitary place. 
I'm the Silver Tongue Devil. Sarcasm is my nature. You cannot trick the trickster. 
Eh, after reading this I do do a lot of these things. But I have no trouble with intended sarcasm. I just hate the false reactions people give. The "How are you?" dilemma is true. Tell it like it is! What's wrong with that? I don't even greet people anymore. I just get down to business as if I just saw them 10 minutes ago. To hell with pretense!
and
I still think if everyone had this gift of insight the world would be a less confusing, happier, healthier place. Greed runs it!
Geez I woulda slapped the sh** out everyone involved in that situation lole... Girl included! Like for real. No one'd be sarcastic with you just slapped the sh** out of everything!
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"If I could get away with murder, I'd take my gun and commit it." |
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kenlee
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 18, 2011
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I dont always get jokes right away,there has been times when someone told a joke and I dint get it then a year later I will be thinking about it and get it,then when I tell them they are like um yea I told you that like a year ago, lol |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6990
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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I was just reading over this thread, and my older daughter was in the next room making French Toast. She's NT. Very NT. I laughed out loud over the "paint the bunny" story, and she asked "What are you in there chuckeling about?" I said "Well, it's on this forum I'm on. This guy was in about second grade and his teacher brought in this stuffed white bunny she had as a child.." and my daughter interrupted me and said "Wait, wait, a real stuffed bunny like from the taxidermist or a toy stuffed bunny?"
I told her "You have no idea how appropriate your question was to that particular thread!"
I posted about a recent taking something literally - my default setting - in General discussion under "Excuse Me" It's pretty funny, and was at the time.
Frances |
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bumble
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 27, 2011
Posts: 1390
Location: Norfolk, UK
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| Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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Growing up around a parent who knew every saying in the book I am not too bad when it comes to taking things literally. After all to follow the conversation I had to make sure I was aware of the alternative meaning otherwise things could get very strange...ie
On telling a friend that she was having trouble making a decision about something because she felt stuck, my mums side of the conversation would go as follows:
Well, it's a difficult situation and I feel like I am caught between the devil and the deep blue sea and if I take the option that x wants me to take it will be like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire!
I was also no stranger to sayings such as:
Can you stop going around the mulberry bush and get to the point please!
The lights are on, but no one is home (I wouldn't always respond when people spoke to me, these days I over compensate and annoy people the other way by always trying to respond in case I was supposed to lol)
She is away with the fairies again
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She is in a world of her own/you are in a world of your own.
Now whilst I do get the not so literal meaning my brain does like to fire the literal meaning at me in image format at the same time lol. For this reason I really hate sayings like "that is frying my brain" for example. All I see is a brain in a deep fat fryer.
I can however take things literally and get really stressed out on occasion. Usually I am not too bad at getting jokes but there are a few examples where I missed it completely lol.
1 On greeting me, a friend used to say "hi stinky". As my response I would immediately sniff my arm pit and say "no I don't". I actually thought he meant it. Eventually he had to point out he was joking! After which I would respond with "Hey skunk butt" instead, given that he had trouble digesting certain foods!
2 More recently I was a at work related interview and I mentioned that the bus service in my area (as it is out in the countryside miles from anywhere) was really bad and that would need to be taken into consideration when looking for work as I don't drive. To which he cracked a joke about using a bicycle. I got upset over this thinking he was being serious as, as a woman I don't think I could cope with cycling a 28 mile round trip (to the nearest city) through pitch black country lanes on my own. I was then informed (after getting myself wound up into a faff over it) that he was apparently joking. I do hope so!
Sometimes things go over my head lol
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For cross stitching, tapestry, other arts and crafts and the upcoming shark kingdom when I get around to it, visit: www.bumbleshobbyhome.blogspot.com |
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FireMinstrel
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 596
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| Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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All the time in high school. It took me years to recognize the patterns and turn it all around so that these unexpectedly funny comments became something I could control. Learned a deadpan stare, learned how certain people personally react, and how the general public tends to react.
For example: last week I delivered a pizza to a VA hospital. One vet jokingly asks me if I'm bringing free pizza for him. I put on a pretend sad face and shake my head. When he persists, I look thoughtful and suggest he call the (imaginary) 1-800 number for that. His friends all howl in response, saying "Ohhhh, SNAP!!!"
Sometimes I wonder if I'm AS, or just a really late bloomer as far as social skills go. Maybe someday, the same will be able to be said for my executive functioning. >_<
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"I'm sorry, I seem to have a tin ear for other people's feelings..." -Naoto Shirogane |
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jackbus01
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 06, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 1197
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 10:45 am Post subject: |
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| FireMinstrel wrote: | All the time in high school. It took me years to recognize the patterns and turn it all around so that these unexpectedly funny comments became something I could control. Learned a deadpan stare, learned how certain people personally react, and how the general public tends to react.
For example: last week I delivered a pizza to a VA hospital. One vet jokingly asks me if I'm bringing free pizza for him. I put on a pretend sad face and shake my head. When he persists, I look thoughtful and suggest he call the (imaginary) 1-800 number for that. His friends all howl in response, saying "Ohhhh, SNAP!!!"
Sometimes I wonder if I'm AS, or just a really late bloomer as far as social skills go. Maybe someday, the same will be able to be said for my executive functioning. >_< |
You are obviously better than me at social situations. I would have been puzzled and asked "Why do you think it is free?" I would later talk about how some guy at the hospital actually thought he could have the pizza for free. |
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FireMinstrel
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 596
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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Aw, I knew he was only kidding. Sometimes I get irritated when people do that just because I think the joke is stupid, but I did alright this time. Other times, I get crabby.
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"I'm sorry, I seem to have a tin ear for other people's feelings..." -Naoto Shirogane |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13669
Location: My house
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| jackbus01 wrote: | | FireMinstrel wrote: | All the time in high school. It took me years to recognize the patterns and turn it all around so that these unexpectedly funny comments became something I could control. Learned a deadpan stare, learned how certain people personally react, and how the general public tends to react.
For example: last week I delivered a pizza to a VA hospital. One vet jokingly asks me if I'm bringing free pizza for him. I put on a pretend sad face and shake my head. When he persists, I look thoughtful and suggest he call the (imaginary) 1-800 number for that. His friends all howl in response, saying "Ohhhh, SNAP!!!"
Sometimes I wonder if I'm AS, or just a really late bloomer as far as social skills go. Maybe someday, the same will be able to be said for my executive functioning. >_< |
You are obviously better than me at social situations. I would have been puzzled and asked "Why do you think it is free?" I would later talk about how some guy at the hospital actually thought he could have the pizza for free. |
I remember in my first relationship, my ex kept saying things he didn't mean and he was always joking but I didn't know that. Anything he told me I always went repeating to my mother because I took it so seriously. My mom thought he was a crude guy and my ex was like "damn" when I told him I thought he was serious. He couldn't seem to grasp I take things literal so he can't be joking with me and he has to be careful what he jokes about. He expected me to pick up magically when he be joking or not. I don't think he cared but yet he still get upset with me for making him look bad because I took him so seriously.
But I look back and see it as him being stupid because he would joke with me and it would backfire on him always. |
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turingtest
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 10, 2011
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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| wallaby wrote: | | As to the "how are you" issue, typically people want as short of an answer as possible. "I'm alright. How are you doing?" "Great, you?" "Not so well, actually. [change the subject, unless the other person asks for an elaboration.] I haven't really figured out when people _want_ a longer explanation yet, so it's easier to keep it short, even if it is lying sometimes. |
I have discovered a really satisfying answer to "How are you?" It is "Can't complain." It can mean a million different things from "I have literally zero things to complain about" to "It would be socially unacceptable for me to complain so I will be quiet instead" to "I have legitimate complaints that I must keep secret" to "My seasonal allergies are so terrible today that it feels physically impossible to actually complain." Think about all the responses to "How are you" that you've given, and the reactions you've gotten. Wouldn't most or all of those situations be reasonably well dealt with by "Can't complain"?
I must admit I feel I've discovered a marvellous social secret in "Can't complain." I use it all the time. I always hated saying I was fine when I wasn't. |
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