TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28106
Location: California
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 Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Fullofstars wrote: | Do you live in an urban area, or an area with a particular immigrant demographic? Attitudes towards acceptable ways to approach women vary greatly from culture to culture. I can walk down an avenue the length of central park and predict where men will 1) hiss/ catcall 2) sing to me 3) shout out to me 4) deliberately avert their eyes 5) look at me slyly, look away, look back with a little smirk 6) not notice me at all (or at least not let on if they do).
None of it bothers me, unless the man is extremely persistent. I've never had a man become angry when I turn him down, and this is a constant occurrence (I walk everywhere); I think it's because I smile and walk away very quickly with my head down. I'm shy but not hostile. If men perceive you as hostile they're going to react in kind. As an aspie, without the ability to project nuance in body language and facial expression, there's probably not a whole lot you can do about that, so... My advice? Take your iPod with you everywhere. If you don't have an mp3 player, get. Cheap pair if head phones, and wear them tucked into your pocket. Look at the ground while you walk, and walk in a hurried deliberate fashion. When some guy makes a comment, pretend you didn't hear it. |
I live in a very diverse area. I do not think men perceive me as hostile, though. I do know I'm viewed as distant and dismissive, though. Been called the Ice Queen many times over the years. 
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mv
Protector of the Realm
Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 3131
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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Here's what you need to do:
Instantly age 15 years. Guaranteed invisibility! 
Okay, I'm kidding. I was going to suggest that you cultivate a wary and cautious persona in public, and a friendly-but-definitely-mom-toned one online, but it sounds like, from your last post, you already know how to do that.
Stop being so damn delectable? |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28106
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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| mv wrote: |
Stop being so damn delectable? |
 I would if I knew how!
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Do you bury me when I'm gone?
Do you teach me while I'm here?
Just as soon as I belong
Then it's time I disappear |
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OneStepBeyond
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2010
Posts: 11309
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:26 pm Post subject: Re: My turn to whine.... |
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| Grisha wrote: | | TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | I don't know how to deal with all this unwanted attention, nor do I even really understand why I get it in the first place. |
It seems like your cross to bear as a woman, I don't know how any woman handles it. |
i don't get this all the time! teabag must have some supersexual powers going on |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28106
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:29 pm Post subject: Re: My turn to whine.... |
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| OneStepBeyond wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | I don't know how to deal with all this unwanted attention, nor do I even really understand why I get it in the first place. |
It seems like your cross to bear as a woman, I don't know how any woman handles it. |
i don't get this all the time! teabag must have some supersexual powers going on |
Oh god... don't say that! 
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zen_mistress
~*~*~*~*~*~
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 35
Posts: 6320
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:14 pm Post subject: Re: My turn to whine.... |
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| Grisha wrote: | | TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | I don't know how to deal with all this unwanted attention, nor do I even really understand why I get it in the first place. |
It seems like your cross to bear as a woman, I don't know how any woman handles it. |
I kick em in the balls.
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Taking a break. |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28106
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:25 pm Post subject: Re: My turn to whine.... |
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| zen_mistress wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | I don't know how to deal with all this unwanted attention, nor do I even really understand why I get it in the first place. |
It seems like your cross to bear as a woman, I don't know how any woman handles it. |
I kick em in the balls. |
I could get in a lot of trouble doing that when I'm not in any physical danger.
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Do you teach me while I'm here?
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zen_mistress
~*~*~*~*~*~
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 35
Posts: 6320
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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I guess it is how things happen. I still havent tried to use internet dating so I have no idea whether I would be inundated with emails from randy local males or not.
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"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
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Mego
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 23, 2011
Posts: 244
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I get that too....sucks....
I think I am pretty moderately middle of the road when it comes to looks, which makes guys more forward. They have no interest in unattractive girls (at least ones they find unattractive) and really beautiful women make them fall over themselves. Plus, young men are immature and don't want to be in committed relationships anyways. |
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28106
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Mego wrote: | Yeah I get that too....sucks....
I think I am pretty moderately middle of the road when it comes to looks, which makes guys more forward. They have no interest in unattractive girls (at least ones they find unattractive) and really beautiful women make them fall over themselves. Plus, young men are immature and don't want to be in committed relationships anyways. |
I've seen guys fall over themselves while staring at me, so either I'm better looking than I think or it just depends on the guy.
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Do you bury me when I'm gone?
Do you teach me while I'm here?
Just as soon as I belong
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TeaEarlGreyHot
Your Maya
Joined: Jul 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 28106
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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I vote for the latter.
_________________
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Do you teach me while I'm here?
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zen_mistress
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Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 35
Posts: 6320
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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Well, it is nice to have attention anyway. I think ultimately it is better than having none at all.
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"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break. |
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Obres
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2007
Posts: 1431
Location: NYC
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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| TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | I've seen guys fall over themselves while staring at me, so either I'm better looking than I think or it just depends on the guy. |
I think it's a combination of the two factors.
... And by two factors, I mean T&A |
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OneStepBeyond
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2010
Posts: 11309
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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^original. again
every time i read this thread title, i picture tea doing the dutty wine |
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Grisha
Aspiring Crazy Cat Guy
Joined: Oct 16, 2009
Age: 46
Posts: 8333
Location: LA-ish
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| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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| TeaEarlGreyHot wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | | DC wrote: | Perhaps you are more attractive than you think?
You could ask some other women for rejection lines that work well on men without them feeling somehow offended.
PS I only love you for your tea cup. |
I always respond to the word "boyfriend", have you tried dropping that one?
Totally non-offensive and effective. |
I'm not sure I understand what you mean here. Are you suggesting I pretend I have a boyfriend? |
Yes. It's a very elegant solution that allows the rejectee to save face...
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