Dark_Lord_2008
Deinonychus
Joined: May 03, 2011
Posts: 348
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 Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:11 pm Post subject: Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers?
You seldom interact with strangers because of the stranger danger rule you hold onto since you were a child.
The only people you interact with in the real world are close family members who visit now and then or by phone.
Interacting with people online to you is just the same as talking and interacting with people face to face. You find it uncomfortable to interact with people face to face because it creates extreme anxiety and makes you feel frustrated that they do not understand you.
Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14794
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:21 pm Post subject: Re: Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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| Dark_Lord_2008 wrote: | Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers?
You seldom interact with strangers because of the stranger danger rule you hold onto since you were a child.
The only people you interact with in the real world are close family members who visit now and then or by phone.
Interacting with people online to you is just the same as talking and interacting with people face to face. You find it uncomfortable to interact with people face to face because it creates extreme anxiety and makes you feel frustrated that they do not understand you.
Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
Well I have friends that aren't related to me so I guess this sterotype does not apply to everyone with Aspergers. Also, I prefer to interact with people face to face then over the phone or internet........so I guess I proved another sterotype wrong........I find it more uncomfortable to try to interact with people on the phone than in real life.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10175
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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Check out social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder.
Also: Depression, prodromal schizophrenia, and probably several other things I'm missing.
Anyway:
I seldom interact with strangers because I don't see the point. The only reason I primarily interact with family members is because I live with them. When I didn't, I interacted a lot less with family as well. I don't have anxiety about interacting with people, but I do find them frustrating when they do not understand me, and are unwilling or unable to make themselves more understandable to me.
I could be described as extremely socially isolated, but it's more a thing where I don't really feel any strong need to socialize, not a fear of it. |
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Dillogic
you know how it goes
Joined: Nov 25, 2011
Posts: 3309
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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Usually.
After schooling, the isolation tends to be the most evident (even if one had no peer interaction at school, it still has the appearance of being a part of something). |
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AdamDZ
Toucan
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 264
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Mind you, I'm not officially diagnosed yet. Outside of work I'm completely isolated, not counting my wife and my mom, I see no one, I have zero friends. It has been like this for years. I'm 44 yo. I've had one friend in the last 15 years, but he passed away recently. I've been trying to have social life from time to time, but it never worked out. My wife tried to drag me out several times, but it resulted in serious shutdowns and meltdowns so she finally gave up. Even meeting her was not my idea and if I knew back then what I know now, I would have never gotten married either. I finally understood this was the way I was: I didn't desire human contact so there was no point in trying. I feel best when I'm alone. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87149
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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I enjoy spending time with my friends and there's a clubhouse that I go to a couple of days a week. I also enjoy the people that I work with and look forward to volunteering at the soup kitchen once a week. I'd rather be with people than self isolate.
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The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul: I'm the cuddly, adorable Kink. Sweet Peas: http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j37/Cocknee/Kinks/Sweet%20Pea%20Smileys/ Other: http://www.mybrowsercash.com/ |
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artrat
Occupy Wrong Planet!
Joined: Nov 07, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 1268
Location: The Butthole of the American Empire
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:11 pm Post subject: |
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I feel isolated but I make a bit of an effort with people. I don't have friends but get out the house sometimes and try to interact with people.
I understand the social anxiety and poor social skills. |
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Dark_Lord_2008
Deinonychus
Joined: May 03, 2011
Posts: 348
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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People with Aspergers, social anxiety and other conditions have slipped through the cracks of a broken education and employment system that does not cater for special people.
Being permanently unemployed and driven into extreme social isolation is a result of a broken dysfunctional society. I do not take any responsibilities for my life and I see myself as a victim of society.
I remain a young boy trapped inside a man's body and that makes life very hard. Life before the age of 12 was simple and easy. Life after the age of 12 has been an endless nightmare for me. |
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abattoir
Emu Egg
Joined: Nov 14, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I feel mostly the same as the post above. It sucks. |
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questor
Hermit
Joined: Apr 24, 2011
Posts: 1983
Location: Twilight Zone
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:00 am Post subject: Social Isolation |
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As a child and young adult I had trouble talking, and socializing to any one, but now I can talk somewhat with strangers in stores and doctors offices, etc., and say hi and talk to the neighbors when I see them outside, okay for the most part. However, I still have a big problem with more personal contacts. I try to keep contact with close relatives on a minimum, but polite, and pseudo friendly level. I don't know how to be genuinely friendly, so I have to fake it. I don't have other personal contacts outside of family--no friends, but that is best for me. I am the hermit type. I find social interactions that are more than casual to be extremely uncomfortable, and difficult. Once people know me better, they have problems with my Aspyness, and I have problems with their unrealistic expectations, and their reactions to my differentness, so I prefer my own company. It is too stressful to interact closely with other people, and is not worth the aggravation it causes me. It is my free choice to avoid these interactions as much as possible. I seem to handle casual internet contact, and I-net contact with relatives alright, though. Since I am okay with being a hermit, there is nothing wrong with this choice for me. I am in my 50s now, and am entitled to live a less stressful life than I had to for most of my life, while I lived with relatives. Fortunately, I live alone now, and much prefer it that way.
Remember, we on the spectrum are all:
A Different Drummer
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.
--Henry David Thoreau |
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unduki
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Posts: 651
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:02 am Post subject: |
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I'm alone in a crowded room. I do things to try to be a part, like, I'm a planning commissioner in my city and I joined a writers' club, but I'm such an odd bird. No one wants to know me. Sometimes, though, I'm a rock star. I command everyone's attention in the room. I have the answer. Then I realize it and say or do something to screw up.
I'm not allowed to exist in the worlds of the people I've always loved. I made inappropriate comments, or asked the wrong question, observed too much, or the wrong thing. Younger sibs called me Miss Know-it-all, and Bully when I was in charge. My children don't want to know me. Maybe, I'm just too big. People find that intimidating - and then I'm weird. It hurts, but what can I do? The news that I was an aspie came too late and no one cares.
I'm not alone by choice... or am I? It's hard to know for sure.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. |
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AdamDZ
Toucan
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 264
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:18 am Post subject: |
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| Dark_Lord_2008 wrote: | | I remain a young boy trapped inside a man's body and that makes life very hard. Life before the age of 12 was simple and easy. Life after the age of 12 has been an endless nightmare for me. |
I never quite thought that way, but yeah... this describes me too basically. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13483
Location: My house
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:34 am Post subject: |
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| I am isolated but I have my husband and son. I like to be with my parents when they come and visit. I don't mind going to my husband's brother's house or my sister in law's/in laws house or to my husband's parents' friends house when they do the barbecue. I just be on my computer there. |
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Ashuahhe
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 30, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 690
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:15 am Post subject: |
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| My social interaction isn't as much as I wanted it to be. Since I was kicked out of my house last christmas, my family made me an outcast and since the offending person (brother) who caused me to get kicked out in the first place was friends with many of my friends, made me lose many of my friends as a result. Currently the only social interaction I have is between my boyfriend, some of his friends and my classmates. Somehow my classmates pick up that I'm different and tend to avoid me as a result. I'm not avoiding social interaction by my own choice, someone already made the choice for me |
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pete1061
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 13, 2011
Age: 43
Posts: 958
Location: Portland, OR
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| Dark_Lord_2008 wrote: | People with Aspergers, social anxiety and other conditions have slipped through the cracks of a broken education and employment system that does not cater for special people.
Being permanently unemployed and driven into extreme social isolation is a result of a broken dysfunctional society. I do not take any responsibilities for my life and I see myself as a victim of society.
I remain a young boy trapped inside a man's body and that makes life very hard. Life before the age of 12 was simple and easy. Life after the age of 12 has been an endless nightmare for me. |
You took the words out of my mouth!
But I say this to myself as well as to you...
It doesn't really help to embrace the victim role, it only strengthens the downward spiral.
Some days though, it's very hard not to feel that way. It seems as if everything in society is geared towards the socially adept, and people like us slip through the cracks.
It's taken decades to get where I'm at now, but I'm finally starting to accept that I am the only one who can take responsibility for my life, and every success I get(no matter how small) means that much more to me, considering the headwind I am fighting. Don't let that inner critic psych you out!
_________________
Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Diagnosed in 2005 |
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