lostmyself
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 05, 2011
Posts: 331
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 Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:00 am Post subject: Do you feel you lack incentive/ability to initiate things? |
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I feel I lack the will power to do certain things. I don't know if its because my parents are protective and controlling or because of me likely having AS I can't think for myself independently. I rely on what majortiy of the people have to say around me and go with what majority of the people think is right. I don't think for myself generally because I am easy going and don't see what others consider as not acceptable.
Last edited by lostmyself on Fri Dec 09, 2011 3:12 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Teredia
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 13, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 621
Location: N.T. Australia
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:39 am Post subject: |
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I was very much like how you described, I also come from 2 very protective parents - I hate it.
Even at 21 they still treat me like im 12.
But i too have teh trouble starting things. I have been creating all the characters in my head and a story for a book i want to write i just cant start it.
Yes believe it or not, this is most likely down to AS (i havent been diagnosed, and i take it you havent been either).
I have learnt a lot of other aspies find that they cannot think straight due to cluttered thoughts and find it hard to start things also.
I mean it could be a combination of both. really dont know. hmm now youve got me thinking =) |
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AlastorX
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 02, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 131
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:25 am Post subject: |
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That lack of incentive might be one of my biggest issues. If I wasn't pushed to do thing, I probably would miss more than few things in my life. I rarely call my friends to go out, I rarely try to change things and I rarely fight my urge to be home and do my favorite things.
Once I manage to implement certain things into my routine, it works out fine but starting anything new...it's a problem.
@Teredia
I too had characters and plot in my head but it was (is) just so difficult to put it on a paper. And I hate it that when I try, I so often get lost in process because of the attention to details. |
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Aimless
innocent bystander
Joined: Apr 02, 2009
Posts: 8159
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:03 am Post subject: |
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Oh yeah. I am stuck in neutral and have been for most of my life.
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Detach ed |
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OJani
a brat
Joined: Feb 24, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 2320
Location: Budapest, Hungary, Europe
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:35 am Post subject: |
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| AlastorX wrote: | That lack of incentive might be one of my biggest issues. If I wasn't pushed to do thing, I probably would miss more than few things in my life. I rarely call my friends to go out, I rarely try to change things and I rarely fight my urge to be home and do my favorite things.
Once I manage to implement certain things into my routine, it works out fine but starting anything new...it's a problem. |
I was like this for most of my life, and still am to a degree (I fought to do my favorite things, though). My parents were overprotective too, and I think they did it for good reason, they saw I was shut up in my world too much, so they nagged me when it was deemed necessary, and did a lot of things instead of me. Usually, I just let myself to go with the flow. However, at a point in my life I felt the need to learn more "common sense" and separated myself from them to a healthy extent by moving out, or at least so I think. |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8258
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:51 am Post subject: |
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I lack will power really bad. I'm not sure if it's because I am quite comfortable in my rut, or if it's because I suffer from Social Phobia, or if it's because I am a very anxious person. I can't seem to shake out of being this anxious, and it's so easy to say, ''just don't worry about it'', and it may work to a certain extent but it's not that simple. Lack of confidence is also draining, but when people say, ''join clubs then'', I lack confidence to pick up the phone and arrange things like this. You see, this sort of thing is all a vicious circle and is not only common in Aspies, it is also common in NTs who suffer with depression, anxiety, and/or lack of confidence.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
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nick007
old-skewl fan-boy
Joined: May 05, 2010
Age: 30
Posts: 9744
Location: was Louisiana but moved in with my girlfreind in Vermont
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:22 am Post subject: |
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I think in my case it's related to me being dependent due to my different disabilities. I made lots of mistakes that's caused problems for myself & my family as a result of me making wrong decisions trying to change things & be more independent so I learned things go a lot better for everyone when I take less initiative. The theory "Learned Helplessness" comes to mind. Thou I have been slowly starting to take more steps to improve that
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For info about where I've been & what's up with me check this post~
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Last edited by nick007 on Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:41 am; edited 1 time in total |
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The_Perfect_Storm
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 06, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 1220
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:13 am Post subject: |
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| Inertia. Might be pills for that. |
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AlastorX
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 02, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 131
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:39 am Post subject: |
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| OJani wrote: |
I was like this for most of my life, and still am to a degree (I fought to do my favorite things, though). My parents were overprotective too, and I think they did it for good reason, they saw I was shut up in my world too much, so they nagged me when it was deemed necessary, and did a lot of things instead of me. Usually, I just let myself to go with the flow. However, at a point in my life I felt the need to learn more "common sense" and separated myself from them to a healthy extent by moving out, or at least so I think. |
At one point in time, my folks refused to do thing instead of me so I had to move on, and it wasn't easy but I am grateful for that now. Though I still like to be told what to do, I don't want somebody to for me but I need directions. |
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SylviaLynn
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 10, 2008
Age: 56
Posts: 534
Location: Albuquerque, NM
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:05 am Post subject: |
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Do you mean "initiative" as in it's hard to get started doing something? Or "incentive" as in a feeling of why bother, someone else can do it? Either one can be a problem.
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Aspie 176/200 NT 34/200 Very likely an Aspie
AQ 41
Not diagnosed, but the shoe fits
10 yo dd on the spectrum |
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OJani
a brat
Joined: Feb 24, 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 2320
Location: Budapest, Hungary, Europe
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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| AlastorX wrote: | | OJani wrote: |
I was like this for most of my life, and still am to a degree (I fought to do my favorite things, though). My parents were overprotective too, and I think they did it for good reason, they saw I was shut up in my world too much, so they nagged me when it was deemed necessary, and did a lot of things instead of me. Usually, I just let myself to go with the flow. However, at a point in my life I felt the need to learn more "common sense" and separated myself from them to a healthy extent by moving out, or at least so I think. |
At one point in time, my folks refused to do thing instead of me so I had to move on, and it wasn't easy but I am grateful for that now. Though I still like to be told what to do, I don't want somebody to for me but I need directions. |
I also like when there are people close to me (friends, parents) who can give me advices whenever I need it. It's like counseling. "Guided independence", as they say it in the study of ST-SCP for the ESC type, which I apparently belong to. |
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anneurysm
Who needs birds when you have Lena Dunham.
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1885
Location: Barrie & Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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I can imagine this issue would be common in the AS population as we are judged constantly based on what we supposedly can and cannot do. We then feel powerless and helpless as we're afraid of screwing up. I experience this issue too...I feel like I can never really express myself due to society having so many restraints. As well, I rarely take initiatives or risks with things in fear of the potential consequences.
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lostmyself
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 05, 2011
Posts: 331
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 3:10 am Post subject: |
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| SylviaLynn wrote: | | Do you mean "initiative" as in it's hard to get started doing something? Or "incentive" as in a feeling of why bother, someone else can do it? Either one can be a problem. |
Both. |
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tjr1243
Toucan
Joined: Apr 01, 2012
Posts: 294
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:17 am Post subject: Re: Do you feel you lack incentive/ability to initiate thing |
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I have trouble initiating social contact. Just recently i've felt a friendship fading away; the smallest sign of it. Since I think rejection is inevitable, i've stopped calling the person and letting them call me, because I know they are losing interest....
It may be a self-defeating habit but I don't know what else to do.......call the person to really find out they are losing interest in the friendship - or call and have them respond only because they feel obligated and not truly interested....bad choices  |
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Omnicognic
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 05, 2010
Age: 168
Posts: 565
Location: Ravenholdt,
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 1:40 am Post subject: |
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I have an amazing and wide assortment of inventions lodged firmly in my frontal lobes that will never see daylight unless someone else builds them. a pair of hot fusion designs, a few new forms of propulsion, an efficient life support system and some simpler devices for the home.
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