Post 4225365 - Re: Why are people so sad on WP? (Why are people so sad on WP?)

WP Members: > 70,000

New Today: 23
New Yesterday: 31

Why are people so sad on WP?

Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> General Autism Discussion

MrXxx
Moderator/Enigmatus Paradoxius
Phoenix

Joined: May 12, 2010
Posts: 5678
Location: New England

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:25 pm Post subject:

For those of you who haven't noticed, the OP has apologized for this. It's in another thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt182901.html I really think he was just trying to help. It may have been poorly worded, but don't we ALL do that sometimes? Can we please give him a break? _________________ MrXxx is taking a long sabbatical, and no longer moderating.

Joe90
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8237
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:03 pm Post subject:

Quote:

-Usually smarter then most NT

NTs are waaay smarter than me. You will realise that humans are clever creatures if you watch the whole of ''Life After People''. That will tell you how humans have managed to keep this world standing and going, and it's not just because of social interaction. Humans seem to know how to maintain buildings. I couldn't do that. And to know how to do it in the first place, somebody's got to be taught, and the teacher is most likely not Aspie, and the teacher would have to of read information about it somewhere, and someone has to look into things in order to get information up onto the internet and in books, etc. Information doesn't just crop up on it's own - humans are finding things out every day. Who's to say NTs are stupid? If NTs were that stupid, how would we have got to where we are today?

Quote:

-Greater attention to detail

So? What's so great about having attention to detail? And who said NTs don't notice detail? Every time I go on Youtube, there is always a comment made about something tiny and trivial in the video what I missed.

Quote:

-When on a subject you enjoy you can have great conversations

Nobody's interested in what I like, and even when I just bring up my special interest just once to a person, they seem to change the subject quickly as though they've mysteriously found out that there is an intense obsession behind what I have just brought up for the first time.
_________________
Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23

Fnord
Enigmatic Threadkilling Metasyntactic Variable
Phoenix

Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 17853
Location: Stendec

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:04 pm Post subject:

MrXxx wrote:

Can we please give him a break?

There are children in Africa that never got a break...
_________________
* Believing in myths allows the comfort of having an opinion without the discomfort of having to think.
* Believing that you're worthless allows the comfort of having something to complain about without the discomfort of having to change.

League_Girl
Proud mamma
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13492
Location: My house

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:25 pm Post subject:

MrXxx wrote:

For those of you who haven't noticed, the OP has apologized for this. It's in another thread:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt182901.html

I really think he was just trying to help. It may have been poorly worded, but don't we ALL do that sometimes?

Can we please give him a break?

This thread would have been ten thousand times worse if it were posted at Babycenter.

Horus
Ipsissimus
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Posts: 2302
Location: A rock in the milky way

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:26 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

Zabriski wrote:

I'm tired of all these stories on WP of depressed people. You should be thankful that your not starving to death in Africa or slowly dying from an awful disease.

So I've decided to make a happy thread. This thread is about the ADVANTAGES of being on the spectrum.

Here are some, I'd like you to add some more:

-Usually smarter then most NT

-Greater attention to detail

-When on a subject you enjoy you can have great conversations

More to come!

I have decided to derail your "happy thread" Smile

.......but only because I honestly feel it's based on
notions that have everything to do with your own subjective beliefs and little, if anything,
to do with reality. More importantly.....I believe posts like this do a great injustice to those
of us with autism spectrum disorders and all brain disorders for that matter.

We get more than enough "injustice" from NT's.....thank you very much.

Ummm.....first of all....I believe your first *bullet point* is largely....if not entirely....a myth.

I can't imagine i'm smarter than a lot of NT's and in fact....I think even the *average* ones have a leg up on me in terms their abilities at things like math, mechanical reasoning, "bodily-kinesthetic intelligence", etc.....

I have NLD and my skills at these things are very poor....if not nonexistent. Often enough....that's pretty much to be expected when it comes to NLD.

Attention to detail and having great conversations while we're on a subjects we enjoy don't seem to be things
which have significant bearing upon sadness or lack thereof IMO.

Here is comment from Dr. Byron Rourke. Dr. Rourke is arguably, the world's leading expert on the NLD syndrome. Since NLD is likely the "sister disorder" of Asperger's.....if not an identical disorder with a different name.....I think his remarks here are relevant to this discussion:

" Adaptability is the raison d' etre of brain-behavior development. Deficiencies in adaptability are, essentially, deficiencies in learning. In this sense, the rather devastating set of learning problems experienced by the person who exhibits NLD ARE AMONG THE VERY WORST THAT CAN BE IMAGINED FROM A PSYCHOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE. The social and vocational incompetence, the withdrawal and the psychic pain are terminal adaptive manifestations of failures of learning. They are all manifestations of the fact that "talk is very cheap" when it comes to the richness of adaptive learning".

That said....I would IMPLORE you to stop with this "people are starving in Africa" line of reasoning in an attempt to convince us why we shouldn't be so sad. Stop "comparing crosses". The suffering that CAN (and DOES, often enough) result from Asperger's/NLD (and other neurological/developmental disorders) is it's own unique kind of misery and has NOTHING in common with the suffering starving people in Africa endure. Such apples and oranges comparisons are, quite frankly, absurd.

Further still.....telling people....."it could be worse" is meaningless and does nothing to alleviate their own suffering. It is all relative and of course "it could be worse".....even for starving people in Africa. Go tell them, "it could be worse, at least you've got your family who is starving with you" and I wouldn't blame them if they punched you in the face.

This "it could be worse" foolishness does not stop millions of "more fortunate" western people.....even plenty of neurotypicals.....from committing suicide, turning to drugs and other forms of escapism, joining whacked-out religious cults, etc.....in an effort to escape from their suffering and misery.

So your thoughts here are not only unrealistic in my estimation....they are quite frankly insulting and presumptuous. They are all underwritten by the implicit, unfounded and unquestioned idea that humans have a quality which can genuinely be defined as "free will".

You have no idea if we have such a quality. In fact.....I'd say the majority of scientific evidence from neuroscience, psychology, genetics, epigenetics, etc.....screams against the existence of said quality.

Thus......authority has not been given to you determine why a given individual, or group of individuals, is sad, angry, happy, or anything else.

There is every reason to believe they are one or more of these things for reasons largely, if not entirely, beyond their control. So until you achieve omniscience, your ideas here are pretty much "faith-based" rather than grounded in anything having to with objective reality.
_________________
Morning comes the sunrise and i'm driven to my bed, I see that it is empty and there's devils in my head. I embrace, the many-colored beast...I grow weary of the torment....can there be no peace? I find myself just wishing, that my life would simply cease

Horus
Ipsissimus
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Posts: 2302
Location: A rock in the milky way

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:29 pm Post subject:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

I'm afraid to say anything for fear of another lecture.

Yeah.....and another lecture which be as predictable, redundant, shallow, insulting, presumptuous, ignorant, arrogant,
unrealistic, Manichean (black/white), etc....as any we've gotten from NT's Rolling Eyes

_________________
Morning comes the sunrise and i'm driven to my bed, I see that it is empty and there's devils in my head. I embrace, the many-colored beast...I grow weary of the torment....can there be no peace? I find myself just wishing, that my life would simply cease

ArthurDent
Snowy Owl

Joined: Nov 23, 2011
Posts: 142
Location: The Starship Heart of Gold

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:29 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

Zabriski wrote:

I can't speak for everybody but I hate my job, I hate my pathetic excuse of what I laughably call an "education", I hate being stupid, I hate not having the discipline to lose weight, I hate being surrounded by people who are even dumber than me, I hate being single, I hate not having an eidetic memory and I miss my dead cat whom I knew for over fourteen years

Horus
Ipsissimus
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Posts: 2302
Location: A rock in the milky way

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:31 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

cubedemon6073 wrote:

Zabriski wrote:

I've heard this BS for years and do you know what I'm sick of it. If everyone was grateful for what they had how would things improve? If those in the civil rights movement were grateful for what had there would be no civil rights movement. There would be no American Revolution.

I'm sorry but I believe this whole be grateful for what you have, stay upbeat, this postitive attitude bullshit needs to go away. There is another part you and those with "be grateful" beliefs have and that is everything you could have could be taken away at anytime and depending on the situation it could happen at the drop of a dime.

It could end up where that person ends up losing everything and starves in the street. This mentality of being grateful goes against any logic I understand.

OFT!!!

Horus
Ipsissimus
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Posts: 2302
Location: A rock in the milky way

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:33 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

Fnord wrote:

Zabriski wrote:

I'm tired of all these stories on WP of depressed people. You should be thankful that your not starving to death in Africa or slowly dying from an awful disease. So I've decided to make a happy thread. This thread is about the ADVANTAGES of being on the spectrum. Here are some, I'd like you to add some more:
-Usually smarter then most NT
-Greater attention to detail
-When on a subject you enjoy you can have great conversations
More to come!

Jeebuss! That's all we need; more smarmy, condescending, judgmental guilt-trippery from a self-appointed expert on depression and all things Aspie - exactly the kind of NT behavior that drove us all to become members of WrongPlanet in the first place!

Get over yourself, already.

Another post QFT Very Happy

I already added my $0.02 before reading anyone else's responses.
_________________
Morning comes the sunrise and i'm driven to my bed, I see that it is empty and there's devils in my head. I embrace, the many-colored beast...I grow weary of the torment....can there be no peace? I find myself just wishing, that my life would simply cease

Horus
Ipsissimus
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Posts: 2302
Location: A rock in the milky way

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:35 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

Verdandi wrote:

Zabriski wrote:

I'm tired of all these stories on WP of depressed people. You should be thankful that your not starving to death in Africa or slowly dying from an awful disease.

This is inane. What relevance does this have to any particular person's problems? Why don't they have any right to have problems just because someone, somewhere, has it worse?

Terribly inane.....it actually makes me question the reasoning ability of people who spout this sort of nonsense.
_________________
Morning comes the sunrise and i'm driven to my bed, I see that it is empty and there's devils in my head. I embrace, the many-colored beast...I grow weary of the torment....can there be no peace? I find myself just wishing, that my life would simply cease

Horus
Ipsissimus
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 15, 2009
Posts: 2302
Location: A rock in the milky way

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:43 pm Post subject:

felinesaresuperior wrote:

maybe i wouldn't be sad if i knew what the hell was going on with me. but i thought i was a freak all my life. i didn't understand why i paced back and forth and flipped my fingers, or why i flipped the handkerchief and watched it, sometimes for an hour or two at a time. and i thought i was extermely stupid. i found out at 45 i was an aspie and a bit too late. i didnt go to college because i thought i was really dumb and other people could do things i couldnt and understand things i couldn't and i was constantly picked on. maybe things would've turned out differently if i knew before. and my parents made me feel like a freak and be ashamed of my behavoir, which i couldn't stop, as you well know.
i'm not sad all the time and i'm working and living alone and trying to improve my financial situation, and i have nieces i'm crazy about and i had two great cats. life isn't all bad.
if you know what you have in early childhood and you have support from your family, then it's much, much different...
some things about AS are good, like hyperactivity. i used to be crazy hyper in my twenties and thrities. i loved it. it was like a shot of adrenaline. and it helped a lot on the job, too. i really miss it.
ocds are not a good things at all, though, they drive me nuts. so does general anxiety and learning disability and inability to pay attention for more than five minutes... all very common for us, aspies. insomnia and stomach achs bug me, too, and stopped me from doing things i really wanted to do. like i took kickboxing classes and was excellent at it and loved it, but then i had stomach achs from all this running and jumping and had to drop out. damn.

This OP.....in a nutshell....is why a lot of us with Asperger's, NLD, etc.... are so sad. My own story is not much different and i've heard similar ones from countless people with AS, NLD, etc....

Alot of us are on the fringes of American/western society just as much, if not more so, than any other minority group. We try everyday to think of things and do things which will improve our lot.....but often enough...they are in vain. Sad

We're not all the same sir (or madam).....even people with Asperger's often have little more in common than a diagnostic label and a few shared characteristics that often present themselves in a matter of degrees at that.
and i cant have a morning job because of my insomnia. kinda hard to wake up early to go to work when you've been up half the night.

Ganondox
Visceral Diety
Phoenix

Joined: Oct 08, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 3597
Location: Indonesia

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:10 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

Sweetleaf wrote:

Zabriski wrote:

Being thankful one is not starving in africa does not cure depression.

Heh, if you interpret there as being an implied subject then there is an interpretation that is humorously "sadistic".

Give the guy a break, he is just trying to make people when you guys go over and try to tear him a new one. We get pulled apart for doing this all the time, so don't do it yourself! Anyway, guess what, if you are reading this you have access to the internet, at least for now, which is probably one of the greatest gifts there is for Autistics. Count your blessings, but don't forget you weaknesses as they are real and you can't deal with them if you don't acknowledge them.
_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.htm

TheygoMew
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 04, 2010
Posts: 1024

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:28 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

Zabriski wrote:

That's really patronizing. You don't know what I've been through and for someone like you showing up pretending you are here to study people like me, my guess is you give yourself pats on the back for having empathy when it's clear you don't.

So abused and starved children outside of Africa just need to be happy about the abuse because hey at least they aren't in Africa like those kids you merely just watch on tv.

If I were to walk up to you and punch you and told you you had no right to be upset because you aren't a starving child from Africa, what would your response be?

If you were in agonizing pain in the hospital and I told you to shut up because at least you aren't in a third world country hospital, how would you respond?

If I were to call you worthless and emotionally brow beat you every single day and I told you at least you aren't a starving child from Africa, how would you respond?

If you were driven to multiple suicide attempts over how others treated you DAILY but I told you you aren't a starving child from Africa so you have no right to even attempt such, how would you respond?

If you are one of these "empathetic" people here to study us, you could go look in the mirror first and say out loud "Perhaps, I lack empathy and maybe I have no right to judge".

Joe90
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8237
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:43 pm Post subject:

The UK will be a third-world country soon, with only the rich being ''cared for'' and all the average (which is most people) will be poorer than African people because the f***ing bastard named David Cameron doesn't know how to run a country. _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

Ganondox
Visceral Diety
Phoenix

Joined: Oct 08, 2011
Age: 16
Posts: 3597
Location: Indonesia

Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:46 pm Post subject: Re: Why are people so sad on WP?

TheygoMew wrote:

Zabriski wrote:

MY GOD, STOP IT! He is not a researcher, he's a teenager with AS! All he is doing is trying to make people happy, so you decide you need to come over and try to break him into your depressive views and make assumptions he was in no way implying. THIS is the reason he felt compelled to make something like this in the first place. Just because your life sucks doesn't mean you have to force that view on everyone else. Everybody has different experiences, don't judge! I'm sorry if I offended you, but this kid does not deserve the response he has been getting.
_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.htm

Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> General Autism Discussion

Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Forums ©

Read more Articles on Wrong Planet

Wrong Planet is a Registered Trademark.
Copyright 2004-2013, Wrong Planet, LLC and Alex Plank. Alex does public speaking for Autism.

Advertise on Wrong Planet

Wrong Planet News Wrong Planet Forums