Teenagers on the spectrum hating authority

Page 1 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Annmaria
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 555
Location: Ireland

23 Dec 2011, 8:39 pm

My son whom I am probably years behind understanding, I know this is an average teenage difficulty but now he is beginning to resent the police or any person whom he see's as an authority figure.

For teenagers on the spectrum how do you curb this?


_________________
A mother/person looking for understanding!


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

23 Dec 2011, 8:47 pm

Annmaria wrote:
My son whom I am probably years behind understanding, I know this is an average teenage difficulty but now he is beginning to resent the police or any person whom he see's as an authority figure.

For teenagers on the spectrum how do you curb this?


Well unfortunatly especially in this day and age there is good reason to dislike the police and other authority figures.....I was not really much of a rebel as a teen, but I did start distrusting the police and then the government after I had my rights violated by some cops. I do not hate all authority figures but I dislike anyone who thinks they are above me due to their position of power or takes it as far as abusing their power.

What problems is his resenting the police and other people he sees as authority figures causing? I might have advice on how to suggest better ways to deal with it so it does not interfere with his life too much.


_________________
We won't go back.


Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,775
Location: USA

23 Dec 2011, 8:50 pm

Don't all teenagers hate authority?


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


Annmaria
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 555
Location: Ireland

23 Dec 2011, 9:11 pm

Yes I agree all teenagers hate authority, but when you have a teenager on the spectrum this becomes an issue, why, because they feel that the person in authority is misunderstanding them. If you are in the spectrum I don't really have to explain these points. If I do you should not be posting on here.


_________________
A mother/person looking for understanding!


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

23 Dec 2011, 9:17 pm

Annmaria wrote:
Yes I agree all teenagers hate authority, but when you have a teenager on the spectrum this becomes an issue, why, because they feel that the person in authority is misunderstanding them. If you are in the spectrum I don't really have to explain these points. If I do you should not be posting on here.


A lot of times the person in authority is misunderstanding them.


_________________
We won't go back.


Annmaria
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 555
Location: Ireland

23 Dec 2011, 9:17 pm

Sweetleaft thanks, my son I have talked about before is obsessed with violence he tries to get me to engage I am seeking advice.


_________________
A mother/person looking for understanding!


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

23 Dec 2011, 9:19 pm

Annmaria wrote:
Sweetleaft thanks, my son I have talked about before is obsessed with violence he tries to get me to engage I am seeking advice.


Violence really is not the answer.....it is possible to have an issue with authority figures who abuse their power, or behave as though they are superior without being violent. I don't know how exactly to stop violence but I think that would be the main thing to focus on.


_________________
We won't go back.


Angel_ryan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 745
Location: Ontario Canada

23 Dec 2011, 9:34 pm

Maybe you could try putting him in karate classes. They teach self discipline, and it's a good outlet for any young boy who might need some constructive physical activity.



Annmaria
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 555
Location: Ireland

23 Dec 2011, 9:37 pm

My son is actively involved in sports thanks for the advice.


_________________
A mother/person looking for understanding!


Burzum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,205

23 Dec 2011, 9:53 pm

I don't know if this will work for him, but it would have worked for me. Try explaining the logic behind society requiring authority figures, and why violence is anti-social and damaging to society (i.e. we would not have survived as a species if everyone was violent all the time). For every question raised, no matter how inane it may seem, a logical answer is required, as you cannot expect him to inherently understand social behaviour. Show him the "big picture".



pete1061
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,766
Location: Portland, OR

23 Dec 2011, 9:56 pm

I'm 41 and I still hate authority.
So frequently people in authority abuse that authority.
But I also abhor violence.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Diagnosed in 2005


pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

24 Dec 2011, 1:24 am

When I was a teenager if you weren't my mother I wouldn't listen to you...and I didn't always honour my mother. I think what made me stop was turning 20. Sorry, that's not much help to you.

I'm mistrustful to police especially because of what I've learned of them over the years of them abusing their power. I think bosses abuse their power too and I will always question people about rules that seem unfair.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


puff
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 40

24 Dec 2011, 2:04 am

Same as above. I resented authority because they did nothing to gain my trust and rested on some unwritten understanding that I have to obey them. This was especially true when it seemed obviously clear that what they were doing was wrong in some way. But also, for me, violence was obviously wrong. I didn't and still don't really understand property rights though.

When I turned 20, I felt I had enough control over my life to listen to authority figures and still retain my autonomy.

Maybe you could give him more control over his life? Choices go a long way.

Also explaining the "Social Contract Theory" might help.

Edit: Why does he see violence as the answer? If he's reading anarchy theory (not a bad thing in itself), violence for the good of everyone is sometimes justified (that, to me is the bad part). You'll need to explain to his adequacy why violence doesn't lead to good (but that's a hard thing to do when you live in America, land of we should kill for independence).



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

24 Dec 2011, 2:37 am

I recall witnessing a scene. A man was calmly talking to a police officer, next moment he was slammed against a paddy wagon and hand cuffed.
A lost a bit of respect for police that day, and this was after a policeman came to my door after a neighbour said I was breaking into my own home. Autism. Didn't speak much. He thought I was drunk. Anyway this police officer was really nice to me when he found out the truth.


_________________
My band photography blog - http://lostthroughthelens.wordpress.com/
My personal blog - http://helptheywantmetosocialise.wordpress.com/


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

24 Dec 2011, 3:06 am

Annmaria wrote:
Yes I agree all teenagers hate authority, but when you have a teenager on the spectrum this becomes an issue, why, because they feel that the person in authority is misunderstanding them. If you are in the spectrum I don't really have to explain these points. If I do you should not be posting on here.


I've never heard of this diagnostic criteria before. I don't understand why this is an issue, and I don't see why I shouldn't be posting on here because of that one little thing.

I often felt that people in authority were misunderstanding me. This was often because they were misunderstanding me. I don't see why this is a problem for your teenager? It sounds like a problem with the authority figure. Are autistic teenagers simply supposed to accept what authority figures say without question because they're autistic?



DerStadtschutz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,467

24 Dec 2011, 12:29 pm

But of course they are, Verdandi. Actually, EVERYONE is supposed to, regardless of being autistic or not, because if they don't, people might realize that authority figures are actually full of s**t.